Chapter 18
“Good day, Miss Sinclair. My name is Gabriella Hayes. Please rest assured—I am not of such low standing that I would be unfit to attend to you. You are planning to attend the upcoming Chichimeme, correct? With all the dress ateliers overcrowded these days, the Duke’s consideration has allowed me to serve you here. I look forward to working with you.”
The woman who had elegantly pinned up her brown hair was, no matter how I looked at her, unmistakably from the upper class. Either she ran a dress atelier as a hobby, or she was extremely well-known.
The Duke wouldn’t have brought just anyone—her influence must have been considerable.
Thinking of the approaching party, I felt a slight tension settle in.
Chichimeme was a party the female protagonist, Olga, had never once attended, so even I didn’t know much about it.
All I knew was that Chichimeme referred to a monster from the distant past that had slaughtered people indiscriminately.
It had come from the west, devouring humans wherever it went, and the ritual of the brazier—performed to drive it away—was the origin of this party.
Only nobles under the age of eighteen were allowed to attend, and a special artificial beast was provided as a sacrifice.
For safety, the beast was bound by four restraints: three to suppress it, and one designed to kill it instantly.
The participants watched as the beast thrashed about, and in the end, pushed it into the brazier.
From the descriptions alone, it sounded extremely brutal, yet surprisingly, the party was said to be immensely popular.
Later on, even Olga would regret never having attended Chichimeme.
“Could you take a look at the satin dresses displayed here? Because your skin is very fair and pale, warm-toned colors will suit you well. I’ve prepared designs that don’t constrict the waist too much. Excessive decorations have been minimized to improve mobility, with diamonds and rubies used as accents—”
Suddenly, I remembered how Adele and I had once dressed like a matching couple by coincidence. I turned to look at the maid my age who had been waiting nearby.
“Has Adele chosen his outfit yet?”
“Not yet.”
I hesitated.
“Would he hate it if I suggested matching outfits?”
I really wanted to know! Was I the only one catching feelings? Or did Adele, even just a tiny bit—like the size of an ant’s claw—see me as a romantic interest too?
As if she’d sensed my desperate heart, the maid suddenly declared loudly,
“I’ll go ask the young master right away!”
S-S-Startled me!
“No, calm down.”
“He’ll love it! Absolutely! Without fail!”
Anyone watching would think she was heading into an oratory contest.
“R-Really?”
She shook her head so vigorously it looked like her neck might snap.
“I—and all the other servants—can testify to this. Our young master only has eyes for you, miss. He stays up through the night to make up for his studies just so he can spend the daytime with you! And even so, he’s not lacking at all compared to the other young nobles—it’s truly incredible!”
Inside, I cheered.
The probability that Adele might have feelings for me just went up by one percent!
But for some reason, my conscience prickled.
Maybe he was just someone who treasured his friends… someone kind and considerate by nature…
I mean, he was the kind of person who would pay a complete stranger’s tuition for a year! Even if he was overflowing with money, that wasn’t something anyone could do easily!
No—no! Let’s hold onto hope just a little longer! My kiss wasn’t meaningless!
I was slowly losing my mind.
“Then… could you ask Adele for me?”
I tried to steady my voice and speak politely, but the maid had already bolted.
“Yes! I’ll be right back!”
After she left, I changed dresses with an anxious heart.
A few times, I accidentally put my arm where my head was supposed to go, earning a small laugh from Gabriella, but I managed to try on seven dresses without issue.
Every dress was beautiful—beautiful enough that I could’ve picked any of them with my eyes closed.
Yet I couldn’t focus at all.
My gaze kept drifting toward the door.
“She’s late. Did Adele refuse?”
I murmured to myself. Gabriella smiled and made a suggestion.
“Would you like to go see for yourself? We’re done checking your measurements, so you’re free to choose whichever dress you like.”
I nodded immediately.
“Please excuse me for a moment.”
The Duke said he’d be downstairs, right? I hurried down the stairs.
If he made me wait for no good reason, I wasn’t going to let it slide. I’d make him throw away at least ten candy wrappers…
But then, as I moved briskly, an odd feeling came over me, and I slowed my pace.
Now that I thought about it, there hadn’t been a single servant in the corridor for a while.
“Let me ask you directly. Why are you paying such special attention to Anastasia?”
The Duke’s voice pierced my ears, and I stopped walking altogether.
In the empty corridor, two people were talking. If I went all the way down the stairs, they would see me.
“You speak as if my actions are driven by impure motives. Weren’t you the one who taught me to be a perfect, virtuous person in the eyes of others? Is it really so unnatural to care for someone who is ill?”
Adele spoke in his usual refined, courteous tone—yet somehow, it felt sharp.
This was a conversation I wasn’t meant to hear. I knew it instantly.
“So you pity the girl?”
“You may think I’m simply imitating others, Father, but I do have emotions of my own. That said… no. I don’t pity her.”
Holding my breath, I straightened my back. Thankfully, the shadows fell in such a way that my silhouette didn’t reach the corridor.
Should I go back upstairs? Or make some noise and announce my presence?
“Adele, you’ve done very well so far. I trust you now—that’s why I’m telling you this. Anastasia is the precious daughter of my dearest friend. I don’t want you to hurt her.”
There was a pause. After some time, Adele’s voice followed—restrained, as if enduring something.
“How would you like me to behave?”
“You already know what I’m going to ask.”
The Duke’s voice was so dry it was hard to believe he was speaking to his own son. It was utterly different from how he spoke to me. Adele, meanwhile, responded as if this were nothing unusual.
“You’ll tell me to endure. To yield. To give. To desire nothing—until the day I die.”
“It’s for your own good.”
After a brief pause, the Duke continued.
“There was a time when I considered tying you and Anastasia together. I thought that, compared to those half-baked fools, even your imitation would be more useful. Through thorough analysis and observation, you could act in a way that anyone would believe you loved her. But now, I have my doubts. Adele—if you cannot maintain your composure in front of Anastasia, then do not grow any closer to her.”
My heart pounded violently.
Even though the words weren’t directed at me, they stabbed into me like a blade.
The Duke believed Adele merely imitated emotions.
As long as Adele remained that way, he was “safe”—but if he began to feel genuine emotions, it would be dangerous.
Adele let out a bitter laugh.
“You’re cruel. You’ve never once allowed me to have what I wanted, and now you’re telling me to give up again. Is my sincerity truly that untrustworthy? Enough that you’d rather I keep pretending?”
“You only need to perform learned behaviors. I will not tolerate variables.”
With those final words, footsteps moved away. Then, after a moment, another set of footsteps approached, accompanied by a quiet sigh.
Adele looked up at me from the bottom of the stairs.
“Anastasia.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop—”
“Did you find a dress you like?”
As if kindly pretending ignorance, Adele asked. His gentle smile and calm tone were familiar—yet at the same time, they weren’t.
* * *
I thought I knew Adele Magnus well.
Of course I did—I had glimpsed his life, and Olga’s, through the novel.
That was precisely why I hadn’t tried to truly understand the Adele standing before me now. I had assumed he would be identical to the character I knew from the original story.
But there was one thing I had overlooked.
The story always revolved around Olga. It never once described Adele’s inner world from his own perspective.
I had simply followed Olga’s gaze.
I knew the Adele Olga met.
The Adele Olga imagined.
The man Olga gave her heart to.
But I didn’t know this man—
The man who did not love Olga.
“Father wishes to dine with you, Anastasia.”
My chest tightened. Looking into his glowing red eyes, I felt a sense of unease.
“This time, it isn’t a health-focused meal. We prepared dishes you like.”
His manner was warm and gentle. Adele was exactly as he always was—the kind, virtuous Adele Magnus beloved by all.
Yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong.
“Adele.”
“Yes, Anastasia.”
I felt dazed. Confused.
“Why are you pretending nothing happened? Why are you trying to let it pass? I heard everything you and the Duke said. You’re allowed to be angry with me.”
Eavesdropping on such an important, private conversation was unquestionably something I deserved to be scolded for. Yet not a trace of negative emotion appeared on Adele’s face.
“I don’t get angry over things like that. And I don’t want you to concern yourself with those words, either.”
For some reason, his answer hurt deeply.
“How could I not care? I told you—I heard everything. I clearly heard him say that your emotions are only safe when they’re fake, and that they become dangerous when they’re real…”
“Please forget it. And just think of me as everyone else does—as someone who is simply kind and enjoys giving. Then you can continue receiving my goodwill, just as you always have. You don’t need to do anything—just enjoy it. We can’t grow close like lovers, but isn’t this, in a way, the most ideal and stable relationship?”
It felt like all the blood drained from my body.
Suddenly, Adele felt unbearably distant.
“But you said it yourself! You said you hated a life where you help others and put yourself second!”
I shouted, my voice trembling. Adele replied as if it were a trivial memory.
“Then you can forget that too.”
The corridor was still empty, save for the two of us. The wind seemed ready to blow, slicing into my skin like scales.
Feeling the chill, I finally shook my head.
“I can’t.”
“Then I’ll have to keep my distance from you.”
“N-No… I don’t want that…”
I felt foolish—even to myself. This was all too sudden. I wasn’t ready to accept it.
But even in this unexpected situation, he was prepared—armed with logical, human, and perfectly reasonable arguments to persuade me.
