Chapter 1
The Convent days
“Do you truly wish to proceed with this lawsuit, Miss Esther Lindell?”
Though she was the daughter of a Count’s family, the solemn Chief Justice called her by neither a baptismal name nor an affectionate nickname—only Esther Lindell.
It was a name she had never felt was really hers, and hearing it spoken here made it feel even more distant.
So this is how bare and empty the name of an unloved child must sound.
Esther looked down at her hands for a moment, then lifted her gaze toward the white-haired judge glaring down from the high seat.
His expression suggested he would correct her insolence right then and there if he could.
To the eyes of adults, the unruly youngest daughter of the Lindell family had long since seemed strange—perhaps even unhinged.
But she had lived under those looks for years. It no longer wounded her. Calmly, she nodded.
“Yes. I wish it.”
Her firm voice carried through the chamber, and the faces of her family seated at the defendant’s bench went pale.
She looked at each of them in turn.
This was bound to be a painful battle.
Both she and they would be left torn apart.
Even so, it was something Esther had to do—for the sake of living as herself.
With an expressionless face, she glanced once more at her family, then spoke to the Chief Justice with all sincerity:
“I hereby petition to be removed from the Lindell family register.”
“No!”
The cry rang out sharply from her mother, seated with the defendants.
Her fiery eyes looked ready to lash Esther with a whip.
Esther met her gaze calmly. This was the same mother who had always been strict and harsh in her teachings.
But now there was no expectation, sorrow, or resentment in Esther’s eyes.
Perhaps startled by that emptiness, her mother’s lips trembled before she collapsed weakly into her seat.
Esther watched in silence, then turned away and spoke the rest:
“And furthermore, I request recognition of my rights as an independent woman.”
The Chief Justice frowned, confused by her words.
“You filed this suit to sever ties with your family. But independent rights? What exactly do you mean?”
“As an adult who has completed my coming-of-age ceremony, I, Esther, petition the Royal House and the Balkan Court to grant me rights usually forbidden to women: property rights, guardianship rights, inheritance rights, and the right to divorce.”
The moment her words fell, the courtroom erupted in noise.
Though she had come of age, she was still only eighteen—and unmarried.
For a young woman to make such a declaration threw the Balkan Kingdom’s court into chaos like a marketplace brawl.
Esther met their shocked stares with a cold, unwavering gaze.
I’ve endured enough.
She had no intention of suffering further wounds in the name of “family.”
Nor would she ever allow anyone—family or not—the right to trample her again.
Never.
***
In the convent courtyard, Esther was digging up sturdy Jerusalem artichokes when she saw Mary running toward her from afar.
Tall and slender, Mary waved her arms wildly, making herself visible even from a distance.
Esther shaded her eyes from the sunlight with her hand. The freckled, red-haired maid was racing toward her with a beaming smile.
“My lady, my lady! Your parents are coming back!”
So that’s all it is.
Esther calmly placed the artichokes into her basket, adding a few more vegetables.
When she straightened her back, a groan slipped out.
Mary, panting as she arrived, quickly snatched the basket from her hands and set a straw hat over Esther’s headscarf.
“My lady! What if your face gets sunburnt? And I told you, leave chores like this to me! Your hands are already rough—how will they look if you keep working like this…”
“Finish what you were saying.”
Adjusting the hat, Esther’s voice was even.
Mary blinked, then gave a sheepish grin.
“You were curious! Well—the civil war is over! So the household sent people to fetch you back.”
“In other words, the uncle and aunt who locked me up here are panicking now that my parents are returning, and they’re scrambling to cover their tracks. Is that it?”
“Pfft, exactly. My lady, you really do put things in the funniest way.”
“Where are they?”
“The Mother Superior dragged them off to entertain them. She said she’s buying you some time to decide what you want to do.”
It had taken Esther years of careful persuasion to win over the convent’s stern head nun, who had never been fond of her noble birth.
But since most of the convent’s income now came from Esther’s labor, she figured she had earned at least this much consideration.
Esther lifted her eyes to the bright sky, then looked slowly around the quiet convent.
Fruit trees heavy with ripening fruit, vegetable gardens, and even the vineyard with its swelling grapes—all had been tended by her own hands.
And yet, none of it belonged to her.
“That’s enough. I’ve done enough good for others.”
She turned to Mary.
“Tell the Mother Superior I’ll return home. And say all the profits here are hers from now on. I won’t be coming back to claim a share.”
“But, my lady—!”
“Enough.”
She would leave it as a debt of kindness owed to the Mother Superior.
After all, who knew? She might end up here again someday.
After seventeen years of silence, her heartless parents had finally reappeared.
But just because they had returned, what could truly change?
Esther had little expectation of her family.
The small, slight girl pressed her lips together, gripping her skirt tightly as she strode forward.
Her back was frail, but her raised head and firm steps carried the dignity of a general.
Mary hurried after her.
“My lady, you’ll at least eat before you go, won’t you?”
“Of course.”
***
“It has been a long time, my lady. This is the head maid who will serve at your side from now on.”
The thin, strict-looking old butler bowed.
Beside him, a round-faced old woman also bent politely.
The maid handed Esther a fine dress, clearly intending for her to change out of her worn clothes.
Esther glanced briefly at the luxurious fabric, then looked down at her faded, shabby garments.
“So this isn’t the work of my penny-pinching aunt. Then it must be my guilty uncle, sending clothes to cover up my appearance, hm?”
The butler and head maid both widened their eyes in shock.
Ten years was a long time, Esther thought.
Even at seven years old, her tongue had been sharp and venomous. Had they forgotten in all that time?
She brushed her fingers over the fine dress and smiled.
“I’ve lived simply at the convent for so long, it’s become a habit. Don’t waste this on me—give it to my cousins instead.”
“But…”
As the maid stammered in protest, Esther frowned.
“My parents are coming back, aren’t they? When Father, the true eldest son, returns, things will change no matter how much Grandmother clings to Uncle. Just look at how they’re suddenly desperate to dress me up, like a bone they tossed aside but now want to polish. Isn’t it obvious? You’d be wise to choose your side carefully.”
Such coarse words, shocking from a young noblewoman, made the head maid stagger as if she might faint.
Esther, frail and underfed compared to their plump, well-kept appearances, regarded them without a shred of kindness.
At seven years old, when her grandmother and aunt had declared her cursed and thrown her into the convent, no one had lifted a hand to help.
So why should she waste sympathy on them now?
Her grandmother’s words still rang in her ears:
“She didn’t even cry properly at birth—how ominous! And she only grows more unpleasant with age. Even the priest said misfortune clings to her! We let her off for being young, but she nearly drowned at the pond and dragged her poor grandfather down, too! You ungrateful wretch! No, I won’t allow it. From today, you’ll go to the convent to cleanse yourself of this curse and repent your sins!”
Even remembering it now, the reason sounded pathetic.
Her grandmother had always been uneasy about Esther.
After all, right after her birth, civil war had broken out, and men from every house were conscripted. Her father, as the eldest son, had led the way.
Her grandmother had been furious, but her father insisted he could not shirk responsibility.
And then her mother—she cut her own hair, disguised herself as a man, and followed her husband to the battlefield.
“Heavens! What was she thinking, a woman rushing into war? What nonsense!”
Grandmother would rage about it constantly, scolding Esther’s mother as if the affection between her parents was unbearable to watch.
Soon, the war only grew fiercer. Even her older brothers, away at the academy, left their studies behind to join their parents.
Only Esther, weak in health, had been left behind in her grandmother’s care.
At first, Grandmother had shown a sense of duty—after all, Esther was the granddaughter left by her beloved eldest son.
Even if she wasn’t breastfed by her mother, there were wet nurses. It was manageable.
But then… Esther fell ill.
