The ordinary three-seater sofa in the corner of the consultation room looked bigger than usual once Haein sat down.
Already small in build, she hunched her shoulders, drew her toes close together, and fidgeted with her hands. She looked exactly like a child bracing for a scolding.
“Are you feeling any better?”
“Mm….”
“Here, drink this.”
Si-yul handed her the cocoa he had just made. Haein, her eyes still tinged red, felt all the more embarrassed.
“It’ll make you feel better.”
Smiling gently, he pressed the warm cup into her hands as she silently gazed up at him. He was gentler now than ever before.
“……Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“And… I’m sorry.”
Lowering her head, Haein muttered her apology in a tiny, shrinking voice.
Si-yul, unable to understand, asked back.
“Sorry for what?”
“……For showing up at your workplace like this. I shouldn’t have.”
She was mortified. If there had been a mouse hole, she would have wanted to crawl into it despite being a cat herself. That was how badly she wanted to hide.
“A girlfriend coming to see her boyfriend at work isn’t exactly a crime. What’s the problem?”
“But you hate things like this.”
“Things like this?”
“……I was such a nuisance.”
Si-yul despised attention, especially when work and personal life collided. Barging in and sobbing about a dead dog—normally that would have been absurd.
Earlier, swept away by her grief, she hadn’t thought about it. But once her mind cleared, shame hit her hard. She had clung to him and cried in front of his colleagues. Like a child…. But at the time, she had only been able to see Si-yul.
That poor dog had felt too much like herself, and she hadn’t known what to do.
Thankfully, Si-yul simply sat closer, his expression saying it was no big deal. Whatever bothered him, it wasn’t this.
“Usually, yes. But you’re not in the same category as everyone else.”
He chuckled, as if asking how she still didn’t get it.
Shame quickly colored Haein’s sorrow, thanks to Si-yul’s teasing manner.
When the hem of his white coat brushed her knee, she instantly squeezed her legs together.
The sofa was plenty wide, yet she shifted a little toward the far end, stealing glances at him.
That look in his eyes… it’s just like right before a kiss.
No way. He wouldn’t kiss me in a hospital, would he?
“…Maybe so.”
It was obvious she was trying to retreat out of embarrassment. Leaning back into the sofa, Si-yul rested one arm across the back and propped his chin on it, his face calm and unhurried.
On the same sofa, there was nowhere for her to run.
Watching her intently, he parted his lips. His handsome mouth was most at ease when curved into that slow, confident smile.
“And I’m not cruel enough to blame someone for crying when they’re hurting.”
“……”
How can his hand reach me from here? Oh… he’s tall, and his arms are long.
Before she realized it, his fingertips brushed her cheek, and she sat spellbound as he leaned closer.
His eyelashes lowered slowly as he whispered.
“You just have to let me comfort you.”
“…You’re going to kiss me?”
“That was the plan.”
“……But we’re in a hospital.”
“To cheer you up.”
That’s kind of a strange way to give comfort. Not that I’d complain…
As he leaned in, Haein gradually closed her eyes. The sadness within her began to melt in his warmth. Not so much from the kiss itself, but because he truly wished for her to feel better.
Knock, knock.
“Doctor? Would you like some tea…?”
The closed door creaked open, and a nurse poked her head inside.
“Oh my, I’m so sorry!”
Bang—
She covered her eyes and fled immediately.
But during the entire brief opening and closing of the door, their lips had already met. Not before, not after, but deeply—right in the middle of it.
The gossip would spread like wildfire through the staff of the animal hospital. That much was certain.
Haein was struck dumb at the thought of becoming the very subject of the rumors she sometimes overheard.
“…You look like you’re about to cry again.”
Si-yul murmured it, amused by the way her face had turned crimson in an instant.
“They… they definitely saw, didn’t they?”
“They did. Full view.”
“What are we going to do! You pervert!”
“Haven’t heard that one in a while.”
Don’t laugh! It’s supposed to be an insult!
Of the two, Haein was the only one flustered about being caught. Si-yul looked nothing but pleased.
“You—you can laugh? Aren’t you even embarrassed, Kang?”
“Couples kiss. It’s natural. If anything, the person who barged in was at fault….”
“Ugh…!”
“Actually, it works out. People kept saying I invented a girlfriend to avoid dating. Now they’ll know you’re real.”
Now that his “imaginary girlfriend” had been proven flesh and blood, he added in his leisurely tone. Haein wanted to scratch that shameless face of his.
“I’m never coming here again!”
“Ah, that’s a shame.”
The sincerity in his voice was unmistakable.
________✧⑅˖♡∘˚˳°↝^._.^_________
The staff had never seen Si-yul’s “girlfriend” before, and their curiosity was overwhelming. None of them had ever imagined he could be such a gentle man to someone.
He was the kind of man who, if a woman cried, seemed more likely to abandon her coldly than comfort her.
He was, in a sense, the very definition of a “cool man.”
And yet, to see him looking so pained, not knowing what to do, trying to comfort a woman—it was no wonder everyone’s attention was drawn to him.
“You said you found him in Central Park?”
“Yes…”
“We compared the features of the dead dog with the existing missing-pets reports. There are a few people who could be the owner. We’ll keep contacting them and let you know as soon as we find someone.”
“Just give the results to me.”
“Oh, should I?”
Since Siyul was firmly standing his ground, they couldn’t object. But his eyes were unmistakably shining with an overly curious light.
“Um… will you be able to find the owner?”
“There’s someone who says they’ll come right away to see if it’s their pet, so I think we’ll find out soon.”
Hae-in felt awkward. The female staff member who usually called her Gaenyang and shook treats at her was suddenly being so polite.
“If you don’t find the owner… what usually happens?”
“If the animal had been alive, it would’ve been sent to a shelter. But since it isn’t… it will be cremated.”
“I see.”
“That’s our animal hospital’s policy, but some places classify them as simple waste.”
She already knew. The fate of those who failed to be claimed was rarely kind.
Even if they were sent to a shelter, if no owner showed up, they would eventually be euthanized.
Hae-in had no choice but to hope the nameless creature would return to its owner’s arms.
What hurt the most was that she was just as powerless.
________✧⑅˖♡∘˚˳°↝^._.^_________
Back at home, Hae-in found herself clinging to Siyul more than usual. Siyul silently stroked her hair and forehead.
He let her hold his freshly washed hand, sometimes interlacing their fingers and pressing kisses to each knuckle.
His broad embrace was warm, his touch tender.
Losing these things would take only a moment.
“…Kang.”
“Mm?”
“Happy birthday.”
She had only wanted to say those words. But after meeting that lost creature, she felt as though she had gotten lost too.
That sadness clung to her body everywhere, sticky and heavy.
“Thanks. Though, I’d rather you smile while saying it.”
Siyul gently pressed her lips into a smile with his fingers, and when she laughed, he leaned in to kiss her. She accepted.
Their small, laughing kisses felt like conversation. Words that simply meant:
I like you so much.
We—looking into each other’s eyes.
We—touching one another softly.
We—why does my heart race? Why does it pound so hard it feels uncomfortable?
“Do you feel a little better now?”
“…I’ve been fine since earlier, really.”
Hae-in nodded against him, but she didn’t feel all that much better.
Siyul’s hand stroked the crown of her head, then slipped down to gather her hair gently as he drew her close.
Their eyes met slowly before he pressed a deliberate kiss to her forehead.
Then, brushing a kiss over her eyelid, he whispered in a voice so tender she could drown in it.
“You don’t look like it at all.”
It was the truth. Fooling this man was impossible.
But she couldn’t possibly tell him everything—the truth about the grim reaper, or the fact that if fate dictated otherwise, they might lose each other forever.
“What about my face?” she asked.
“It says you’re sad.”
“I’m happy right now.”
And she meant it. Pulling his large palm to her cheek, Hae-in closed her eyes.
The feel of him filled her with happiness. She finally understood why animals rubbed their bodies against those they loved.
Just being together feels so good.
Because I can’t express it in words, I keep leaning closer.
And this ache in my chest, even though I’m happy—fine. Let’s just say I’m so happy it makes me cry.
“…Do you feel some sort of kinship with that dead creature?”
“Mm. Yes, because I hear it.”
She could deceive ghosts, but never Kang Siyul.
“…You’re not the same.”
“We are.”
“How?”
“When you part, you never meet again. That’s the same.”
How do I even say this? That the more I love you, the sadder I become. That the brighter your light is for me, the darker the shadows it casts.
I hate that there are so many things I can’t tell you.
But it was only by being who she was that she could reach for him at all.
Hae-in lifted both hands, cupping his face.
The moment her palms touched him, she felt happiness. Because he was there, tangible, warm beneath her fingers.
“There’s only one thing I can say… that one day, I’ll have to leave you. But it’s never because I stopped loving you. Please, at least remember that.”
Though Siyul always went silent at these words, Hae-in felt relieved just to be able to say them.
Looking at him, she drew his face closer until their foreheads touched, their lashes brushing.
At such a close distance, words instead of a kiss felt strange.
“So… when that time comes, don’t let it hurt too much. Or better yet, don’t be hurt at all. Don’t love me too much, Kang. That would be better.”
At first, she had begged him to give her everything. But the deeper and more entangled her heart became, the more her thoughts shifted like reeds in the wind.
Don’t hurt too much. Our hearts are connected, so if you’re in pain, I’ll be in pain. Kang, what I fear more than my own suffering is yours.
I’ll forget, but you’ll still remember.
Would it be easier if you forgot too?
“It’s already too late. I already love you too much.”
“…Don’t.”
Siyul didn’t get angry anymore. Perhaps after hearing it so many times, he had accepted that she would eventually leave.
“Do you really have to go?”
“Yes.”
“There’s no other way?”
“…No.”
“You can’t come back on your own?”
He asked again and again, staring at Haein’s tearful yet smiling face.
Why does this silent pain hurt more than her sobs from earlier? Why does the slight nod and faint ‘yes’ choke me so?
“Yes.”
Why does that small nod, that tiny syllable, make my throat burn and tear as though it will break? Is it because your eyes hold such aching light?
Siyul’s voice was quiet, steady.
“…Can I come find you?”
No. Don’t.
Please.
Yes… I love you.
She swallowed words over and over, her eyes brimming once again. Everything was helpless.
Kang, I’m this weak.
Living each day only by looking at you.
And only now do I realize—I love you too much.
________✧⑅˖♡∘˚˳°↝^._.^_________
Siyul prepared for bed a little earlier than usual.
He set his alarm for dawn and sat on the edge of the bed—he had to leave for work early tomorrow.
Since Hae-in was nocturnal, it wasn’t her time to sleep. He left her in the living room on purpose.
But soon, she walked naturally into his room.
Her footsteps tapped softly across the floor behind him.
At first, he thought she had come to get her colored pencils for drawing.
But no.
Her shadow drew closer and overlapped his own. Something about it felt different from usual.
“…?”
He felt the bed dip behind him. Turning, he froze.
Hae-in was clinging to his shoulders, her expression like someone wagging a tail.
Her soft body pressed warmly against his back.
“Kang.”
“…What?”
Suddenly, he was afraid.
Did she know what she was doing to him?
Probably not. So he tried to hold back.
But Hae-in betrayed that restraint easily.
“Hey, Kang.”
Her delicate voice called him again.
It was the kind of voice that made him feel like he had to listen, no matter what.
Leaning closer, she pressed her lips to his ear. Each word she breathed sent warm shivers down his spine.
It was exactly what he had once done to her—something she had learned by watching him.
Siyul wondered if he should add this to Haein’s list of “three surprise attacks.”
“I don’t want to only be sad. So…”
He listened quietly to her whisper. To be precise, he couldn’t move at all.
“When we still have the chance, I want you to hold me.”
“…”
“Before we part.”
