BTWAM 01

Chapter 1 …

“W-Why are you doing this? You weren’t like this before…!”

“Like this?”

Rachel laughed.

“What do you mean by ‘this’? Someone who pretends not to know that her husband is cheating? Someone who begs a man who’s never once seen her as a woman to love her?”

“Rachel…”

Her husband, Theodore, who had been having an affair with a woman nine years younger than Rachel for over seven years, looked utterly dumbfounded.

Of course he did.

The woman he believed would forgive and love him no matter what kind of betrayal he committed was now looking down at him with a cold, unrecognizable face.

“I don’t need anything else. Just divorce me.”

Rachel tossed the papers in her hand carelessly. They fluttered through the air, slicing across Theodore’s cheek before falling to the ground.

Theodore’s hands trembled as he picked up the divorce papers and scanned them.

“Divorce? I can’t do that…”

“I knew you’d say that. Those papers are just for show—you can tear them up if you want. I’ve already filed for annulment with the Noble Elders’ Council. Tax evasion, slush fund creation, damage to the family’s honor. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

He couldn’t answer.

Rachel pulled the ring from her left hand and threw it at him, her voice cool and firm.

“What I’m saying is, whether you want it or not, our marriage is over.”

There are two kinds of people in this world: pushovers and not pushovers.

Unfortunately, Rachel Ellosa had been the former.

“Madam, how about trying some skin care? There’s a rumor that the new general store’s fragrant oils make your skin smooth. If you’d like, I can bring you some as a gift next time!”

That was the first thing Jane—Theodore’s mistress—said to Rachel when she visited her home.

Kindhearted Rachel rushed to her husband afterward, delighted.

“Jane is such a polite and lovely young woman. May I invite her again?”

“As many times as you want,” Theodore replied with a faint smile.

Theodore, who usually preferred to be out of the house, always stayed at the mansion on the days Jane visited.

Rachel was genuinely happy.

Even if their marriage was arranged, she truly loved her handsome and gentle husband.

But Theodore had never loved Rachel. He’d only married her for her family’s money and title. The only woman he had ever loved was Jane.

As the eldest son of the Ellosa Count family, Theodore knew his strict mother Berengela would never accept Jane, a commoner.

Their marital relationship, already perfunctory, was completely severed after the birth of their son, Graham. In recent years, Theodore hadn’t even held Rachel’s hand. Naive Rachel believed it was only because he was busy and tired.

As time passed, Theodore and Jane grew bolder in their affair.

The year Graham turned five, Rachel finally witnessed them together—naked and entwined.

It had been the day of their mother-son trip. Theodore claimed he was too busy to join. Rachel had also given the butler Carl and the household staff a day off.

From the morning, misfortunes piled up—broken cups, sudden rain, a broken carriage wheel. Then Graham fell ill shortly after departure.

Rachel bought medicine at a nearby pharmacy, but his condition didn’t improve, so she hurried home.

Thinking the mansion was empty, she nursed him alone late into the night.

At dawn, Graham’s fever finally broke. Rachel returned to her room to change clothes—and heard it.

“I love you, Jane.”

“I love you too!”

On the very bed where Rachel slept every night, Theodore and Jane lay tangled together, naked.

It was as if everything had been orchestrated perfectly. That was the night Rachel first learned of Theodore’s infidelity.

Theodore and Jane had been together for eight years. It had been seven years since Theodore married Rachel.

“Theo, are you and Jane… like that?”

“Like that? What are you talking about?”

“I… I saw everything! You two were…!”

“Weren’t you just tired from taking care of Graham and saw wrong?”

Theodore denied it.

Rachel was on the verge of losing her mind.

The betrayal of the first man she ever loved, the man she had believed truly loved her—it cut deep.

All she could do was believe Theodore’s denial and accept him again. She wanted to believe she’d seen wrong.

Even if it was true, she wanted to believe the affair would end there.

A ridiculous hope.

He still reeked of women’s perfume, and the family finances were developing suspicious gaps.

Rachel finally confronted him.

“I love you, Theo.”

“What’s this all of a sudden?”

“Even though it was a political marriage, I love you. Do you love me?”

“Me?”

“Do you love me?”

Sadly, Theodore shook his head.

“You’re a good wife. Frugal, kind. You run the household well and gave birth to the heir. But… I don’t love you. Arranged marriages are like that.”

The night she caught him, he’d whispered “I love you” to Jane. But not once in their marriage had he said those words to Rachel.

Rachel hired someone to follow him.

Theodore and Jane met outside the mansion—not even discreetly—and flaunted their affection.

Everyone knew they were lovers.

When she asked the spy how many times the two said “I love you,” the answer was “too many to count.”

Rachel fell into despair. She decided her life had no meaning anymore. She hanged herself in Theodore’s bedroom when Graham was six.

Graham was devastated.

He grew up alone in the vast mansion, without a mother or father. He closed his heart. He didn’t believe in love. He became a cold, ruthless killer.

Fortunately, Graham met Lady Dolorasa—kind, warm, persistent, and upright. She couldn’t ignore his wounded heart. Her sincere feelings thawed him, and they became lovers, living happily ever after.

This was the plot of the novel What Is Love?

In the novel, Rachel was such a minor character that no one even pitied her.

Too kind, too fragile—a woman who couldn’t endure her pain and chose tragedy, leaving Graham with trauma. Nothing more, nothing less.

And now, I was possessing her body. Just my luck.

Before possession, I’d been more like Graham—a girl who’d watched her father cheat and his mistress torment her weak mother.

I’d hated that man to death. And now I’d become the wife of a man just like him!

If only I’d possessed her before the marriage and broken off the engagement with that cheating bastard. But Graham was already born.

This was during the height of Theodore’s fiery romance with Jane.

And tomorrow was the day Theodore would bring Jane into the house for the first time.

Well, there’s no helping it now.

All that’s left is to make him pay for sullying the sacred names of love and marriage.

Fortunately, Theodore and Jane looked down on Rachel so much that they left evidence of their affair everywhere. Preparing for divorce was easy.

The problem was that, just like in the novel, the Ellosa family finances were a mess. At this rate, even if she divorced him, Rachel wouldn’t get proper alimony or assets.

She didn’t want to help Theodore in any way, but she needed to check the estate’s finances before filing for divorce.

“Other people get to live in luxury after possessing someone, and here I am, suffering like this…”

Late at night, as she pondered how to deal with her cheating husband—

“Mommy, I need to pee.”

The four-year-old Graham walked in, hugging a soft teddy bear. He squinted against the sudden light and rubbed his eyes with his fist.

To think this adorable child would one day become a cruel killer after losing his mother—it was hard to believe.

Rachel quickly got up and took his hand.

“Alright, let’s go. Where’s Marsha?”

“She went to bed, I think. She’s not here.”

Graham’s old nanny Marsha was lazy.

She had told Rachel that Graham was a difficult, ill-tempered child.

Rachel had believed her and paid her double wages out of gratitude.

But after possessing Rachel, she found Graham was actually sweet and gentle. Marsha, on the other hand, neglected him constantly. Rachel planned to gather evidence and dismiss her soon.

“Mommy?”

“Oh, sorry. I was spacing out. Go ahead, I’ll wait here.”

“Mm. It’s scary… Sing for me.”

“Alright, alright.”

She hummed softly as he did his business.

She heard water running, then little footsteps as Graham came out.

“I peed and washed my hands!”

“Really? Well done, Graham.”

His cheeks flushed as he grinned proudly.

So cute.

She tucked him into bed.

Marsha hadn’t cleaned up after playtime, so the room was a mess with toys.

Rachel clicked her tongue quietly and tidied up.

“Mommy, come closer. I have a secret to tell you.”

“A secret? What is it?”

When she leaned close, Graham kissed her on the cheek.

“The truth is, I love you a lot, Mommy.”

Rachel smiled and whispered back,

“How did you know? I love you a lot too, Graham.”

“We’re the same then.”

“Yes, we are.”

She patted his head and left the room.

There was one more important thing besides the divorce.

She had no intention of hanging herself like the original Rachel and traumatizing Graham into becoming a killer.

That meant Dolorasa wouldn’t pity him as in the novel, and their relationship might not happen.

That couldn’t happen. Graham and Dolorasa were perfect together.

Rachel looked at his closed door and whispered to herself,

“Don’t worry, Graham. No matter what, I’ll make sure you and Dolorasa end up together.”

The next morning, Theodore brought his mistress Jane to the mansion.

Hypocritically, Jane greeted her with a clear, innocent expression.

“Hello, Countess Rachel. I’m Jane.”

“Rachel, she’s the one who helped me pick out your present at the general store last time. She’s from a respectable middle-class family. When I told her about you, she said she’d love to meet such a wonderful person. So I invited her. You don’t mind, do you?”

Theodore had never bought Rachel anything from the general store. He was just mistaking a gift he’d given Jane for something meant for his wife.

Rachel looked at her foolish husband and smiled brightly.

“Of course I don’t mind. Welcome, Jane. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”