Chapter 08
There was no way I was letting that rabbit steal my first kiss.
I was about to bolt upright when—
“Aaack! W-What do you think you’re doing?!”
“Even if she’s not unconscious, how dare you try to kiss a collapsed woman? Are you sane?”
“What are you talking about?! I wasn’t trying to kiss her—I was going to give her artificial respiration! And for the record, I’m a beast-tribe! A beast-tribe!”
“Beast-tribe or not, you still mate.”
I cracked my eyes open at that outrageous conversation, just in time to see Kaizen gripping Hamma by the scruff.
Why were they doing this…?
I forced an awkward smile and sat up.
“Umm. Uh. Hi? How… how did I end up here? Did I… faint or something?”
The looks they gave me were downright pitying.
Ugh. Forget grilled fish. I should just sleep.
***
The next morning, we ate a simple meal and headed out.
“Alright. Let’s get moving.”
Maybe because we’d pushed through without resting the night before, we managed to reach Hanak Village before sunset.
“This is Hanak Village, Hero. Do you recognize it?”
“No. First time seeing it.”
“Hmph. As if…”
Hamma pouted, grumbling under his breath. Kaizen didn’t even acknowledge it.
“Where’s the food shop?”
“Just past the village chief’s house. Follow me!”
He’d claimed he didn’t want to come near the village, yet the bounce in his step said otherwise. I couldn’t help laughing.
“Hamma. Tell me the truth. You lied about not wanting to come, didn’t you?”
“No? Why would I lie about that?”
“You’re excited.”
“Not at all! I’m just happy I can finally be helpful to Lady Romi for once!”
His snowy ears twitched. I gently rubbed them and gave him a thumbs-up.
“At least you know gratitude, you little rabbit.”
The food shop wasn’t far.
I told Kaizen to wait outside and dragged Hamma into the back.
“Hamma. It’s time. Can you do it?”
He perked up, ears stiffening, expression suddenly solemn.
“Leave it to Hamma! I’ll absolutely succeed!”
“Good. The moment I leave the shop, the operation begins. Understand?”
Thump—thump. He pounded his chest with determination.
“Yes!”
I bought salt, sugar, and a few spices, then stepped outside.
Kaizen stood with his back to me, as still as stone. I flicked my chin toward Hamma.
Catching my signal, Hamma cleared his throat and began shouting in the most painfully fake dramatic voice imaginable.
“W-What! N-No way! R-Rabbit beast-tribe… trapped… in the O-Orc camp?!”
Oh, for the love of—
Who exactly was he pretending to be talking to when no one was even around?
Even Kaizen wouldn’t fall for something that badly staged—
‘…Would he?’
His expression hadn’t changed, but I could tell. He was listening.
“A-Ay no… w-what a tragedy…!”
This… might actually work.
“What? Hamma! Your friends were captured by orcs?! That’s terrible!”
I grabbed Kaizen’s shoulders, looking like a paragon of justice.
“Kaizen. As a chef, I cannot ignore this. Let’s go to the orc camp.”
“……”
His eyebrow twitched. Displeasure flickered across his grey-blue eyes.
“Well? Let’s go. We need to help them.”
“I refuse. Did you already forget what I said? Don’t bother me.”
“Kaizen. Listen carefully.”
I swallowed hard and put on the most serious face of my life.
“Hamma is my assistant. And I’m a chef who can’t function without an assistant. But if he can’t save his friends, he’ll fall into despair, right? He’ll get sick, waste away, and one day he might just die. Then I’ll lose my assistant. And with no assistant, I won’t be able to cook. I’ll become the most useless chef in the world. Do you understand?”
“……”
“You don’t understand at all. Okay, I’ll explain again. I’m the chef, and Hamma is my—”
“I understand. Now step back. You’re standing far too close.”
Kaizen retreated a step, looking faintly horrified. Probably agreed just to end the conversation.
It felt like I won but also lost…
Behind him, Hamma lit up.
“Hero! Thank you so much! Hamma will never forget your kindness!”
The obedient-act tactic was working surprisingly well.
And so, we headed toward the orc camp.
Hamma’s directions led us to a place a bit away from the camp I’d raided a few days ago.
Why bring Kaizen all the way here?
‘Because I need to give him the Demon King Castle map fragment.’
Meeting Hamma, saving the rabbit-tribe, defeating the orcs, finding the treasure chest—
All of this was originally Kaizen’s quest.
But I’d bulldozed through the orc camp on my own and steamrolled the entire sequence.
I had considered just handing him the fragment directly, but unfortunately, there was no way to prove it was part of the map.
The Demon King Castle map only functioned when all four pieces were reunited.
Until then, it was just a torn scrap of paper.
I knew it was real because I’d beaten the game.
But Kaizen didn’t know that I knew.
‘If I give it directly, he might think I’m handing him trash.’
But if he found it inside a treasure chest, even blank, he’d consider it meaningful.
So I planned to do things properly.
“Hero! Do you see that big house made of bones?”
At Hamma’s pointing finger, the orc village came into view.
Five archers in the watchtower. About twenty soldiers are patrolling.
It was much larger than the camp I’d cleared before.
“My rabbit friends are trapped in there! Please save them!”
Kaizen walked forward wearing the most annoyed expression on earth.
This was a beginner-level area, so he should be able to handle it alone.
As he moved off, Hamma glanced back and winked.
‘Lady Romi! I did well, right?’
I gave him a discreet thumbs-up.
Kaizen fought just as well as expected—better, even.
Every swing of his sword sent two orcs flying. And that was when he was barely trying.
“No wonder. I couldn’t push him back before no matter what.”
And I was supposed to be strong.
Hamma watched trembling, ears drooping in fear.
“L-Lady Romi… I didn’t do anything to offend the hero, right…?”
I couldn’t bring myself to mention how rude he’d been, specifically to Kaizen at first.
Before long, the entire orc camp was wiped out by Kaizen alone.
But when he returned, looking as drained as when he left, I noticed something disturbing.
‘The obedient icon disappeared?!’
What kind of buff wears off in less than two days?!
If I wanted the Peaceful Three Meals a Day Project to succeed, I’d need to cook the obedient-effect meal every other day.
Kaizen approached, and Hamma bowed so fast he was practically folding in half.
“Th-Th-Thank you, H-Hero!”
“You did well, Kaizen. You’re not too tired, are you?”
“I’m fine.”
“Since the orcs are gone, let’s free the rabbit beast-tribe. They’ll be inside.”
He followed without complaint.
Inside the white dome of bone, several large iron cages were packed tightly together.
And inside those cages—dozens of rabbit-tribe villagers.
While Kaizen and Hamma freed them, I quickly pulled the map fragment from my coat and slipped it into the treasure chest.
Then, just as planned, I yelled dramatically:
“What’s! This! Something’s! Here!”
