Chapter 46
How many times had I gone through this life already?
On the road back to the Empire after the war, Camilla had cautiously asked me something she had long been curious about.
“Edith… I know you were adopted by the Crowell family.”
“Yes. That’s correct.”
“…Then how come you’re so close with your family?”
There was no blood relation, no fond memories of childhood—yet Edith Crowell seemed almost unnaturally devoted to her family.
If it were a blind loyalty born from gratitude for being taken in as a poor orphan, that would make sense. But the way Edith Crowell felt toward her family was closer to affection than mere obedience.
Anyone who knew Edith Crowell wondered the same thing:
“Why does Edith Crowell cherish her family so much?”
And perhaps whether her family genuinely loved her in return.
Yet no one dared ask directly. After all, during this life, the nobles had always looked down on Edith Crowell, using the excuse that she was “an orphan adopted from a commoner family.”
Asking about the origin of her love for her family would be like picking at a wound.
Even now, if it weren’t Camilla—who had grown closest to me throughout the war—asking, I probably would have just flicked her hand and made sure she didn’t get hurt, nothing more.
Yet the soldiers marching behind her were equally curious, secretly straining to listen to our conversation.
I paused on the quiet road, placed my foot in the stirrup, and finally spoke after a moment of thought.
“Camilla… have I ever told you about my childhood?”
“No. Now that you mention it, I don’t think I’ve heard about it.”
Camilla shook her head.
I rarely spoke about my past. Sometimes it seemed like I had forgotten it, and at other times, I appeared as though the period before I joined the Crowell family never existed.
It wasn’t just that I didn’t want others to see it—there were times I didn’t even reflect on it alone.
Yet now, for Camilla’s question, I dug up the story from long ago.
“When I was a child… I was apparently silent until I was ten years old.”
The orphanage director took in the abandoned babies left in front of the orphanage.
More than half of the children there were taken in this way.
About a quarter of them were later reclaimed by their biological parents, but three-quarters grew up without knowing them. Half of those managed to find new parents.
I was in the remaining quarter—no parents, no new guardians.
The orphanage, located at the far edge of the Crowell territory, was fairly large.
Many nobles volunteered there—not just one-off donations, but consistent support. Among them were the Baron and Baroness of Crowell, the very region where the orphanage was located.
It was only natural that my presence caught their eyes.
I added a few words while describing that moment.
“At that time, I didn’t listen to anyone except for one friend.”
“You were antisocial.”
“I suppose so. I barely remember why now, but perhaps I didn’t want anyone to know I was sensitive to magic.”
So I avoided the Baroness even more—she had introduced herself as a mage from the Mage Tower.
Camilla tilted her head curiously.
“If you avoided her, how did you grow close? I’m curious… what happened?”
“Well… it seems the world sometimes moves because of the malice of others.”
I paused, then slowly continued. That day remained etched in my memory, no matter how many times I had lived this life. It was the day my life changed.
Now that I think back, since the mage from the tower had left to marry the baron, many would have taken the opportunity to harm her for their own gain. That day’s incident was probably caused by one of them.
Among the donated items, there was one that seemed particularly strange and unpleasant.
I, as a child, saw the Baroness reaching for it absentmindedly while organizing donations.
Considering her skill, perhaps she already knew of its danger and intended to handle it before it reached my hands—but I had no way of thinking that far.
For some reason, I couldn’t bear to see her touch it.
Thud!
I threw myself in front of the Baroness, who I had tried so hard to avoid.
“Edith!!”
The Baroness screamed sharply. I had struck her hand away and the object fell to the floor.
Sparks flew everywhere, and I was engulfed, losing consciousness.
When I awoke, the Baron and Baroness held my small hands, surrounding me with the bed.
They were trying to save me… I’m really grateful.
“My mother thought that because of that incident, I became capable of sensing magic. So she chose to take responsibility and adopted me.”
“Is that how you opened your heart?”
Camilla’s eyes shone brightly as she looked at me. I shook my head lightly.
“No. At that time, I was uneasy about deceiving the Baron and Baroness. I already knew how to use magic.”
“I see…”
“By chance, my friend also awakened their divine power. They went straight to the temple, and we rode the carriage leaving the orphanage together.”
“…Did something happen in that carriage?”
“Yes. Neither the orphanage director nor I could have predicted it.”
I adjusted the reins and continued slowly.
“At that time, slave trading wasn’t yet banned.”
A carriage with a child sensitive to magic and one with divine power was an easy target. I realized that.
Camilla raised her eyebrows.
“So…?”
“Yes. We were attacked by a slave trader. I managed to help my friend escape through a side route, but that only enraged them further. I almost died.”
A faint smile appeared on my lips.
“That’s when the Baroness saved me.”
She could have waited at the Crowell Castle, ignoring my delay or even my possible death, and justified it as fulfilling her duty without guilt.
But she didn’t. When I regained consciousness after the carriage overturned, I saw her bare feet, bloody, running toward me in desperation.
“…That’s when I first felt loved.”
After that, I began speaking. My younger sister Diana, who had already been with the Barons, followed me obediently, never causing trouble.
“And after that?”
“After that, it was ordinary.”
My first birthday party, sitting by the fireplace at night listening to stories, baking terribly with the kitchen staff… I recalled these simple joys and smiled a little more clearly.
“…It was all happiness.”
Camilla exhaled, smiling brightly.
“Truly ordinary moments, Edith.”
“Yes. That’s why I love the ordinary. For me, happiness is found in the everyday.”
With my family, with my people.
And now, with the war over, I could return to them.
I had never shared this with anyone before, but letting it out lightened my heart. It also reminded me of the meaning of my countless lives.
Yes. Only family could serve as a clear landmark in these cycles of reincarnation.
And after surviving life and death alongside comrades in the war, I could share this story with them.
As I thought this, Camilla seemed a little behind, her voice calling from the rear.
“By the way… what happened to the friend who went to the temple?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t contacted them since. It was a long time ago, too.”
How long does this forest path go?
I wondered, and glanced at Camilla.
“…!!”
Goosebumps ran down my body. Arrows were embedded behind her back. Her bloodshot eyes streamed with tears of blood. She was on the brink of death.
It hit me.
Ah, yes… this happened once…
When we were returning from the war, I had been telling this story to Camilla and hadn’t properly watched our surroundings, and we were ambushed by stragglers.
Camilla died. The other knights were nearly wiped out.
There was nothing more I could do with my limited strength.
So I…
The corpse of Camilla slowly leaned toward me, grasping my arm, whispering—a hallucination, yet clear:
“Edith… die. Let’s start again.”
As always.
“…Hah…”
I woke from the nightmare. My pale face gasped for air, and someone was beside me.
“Lady Edith…”
A voice faintly dreamlike yet joyous.
I slowly turned my head and saw… Rimos Therion watching me from the side of the bed.
“……”
His pale, slender fingers brushed through my hair, carefully smoothing the sweat-soaked strands.
“…Therion.”
Cold sweat ran down my back. He looked at me and curved his eyes in a smile.
“You made that face while I was gone?”
“…Shut up.”
I muttered irritably, rubbing my face.
Then I asked, bluntly:
“Is the temple investigation done?”
“No. I just came to see you. We can enter the Grand Temple library tomorrow. Is there anything else you want checked besides the curse?”
If there was more I wanted…
I slowly lowered the hand rubbing my face.
“…Yes. There is a favor I need.”
“Very well. Please tell me.”
“…Do it.”
Rimos Therion tilted his head, expression unreadable. Then, as if understanding, he smiled deeply and leaned closer.
“I understand. When you return, you must praise yourself for doing well.”
He pressed his lips to my forehead and vanished.
