CHAPTER 98………………………………
If you truly risked your life, you should have been prepared to face death. The beast would never let go of the prey it attacked.
That is, if he hadn’t run away.
“…So are you saying I was supposed to die there?”
“Hmm…? I’m still a kid, so I wouldn’t know about that. I guess the uncle who said he risked his life would know better?”
Esther wagged her mouth energetically, dangling from Cardem’s leg.
“Miss….”
Cardem tried to intervene with a warning, but, of course, Esther didn’t stop.
“So, how many beasts did you kill?”
“What?”
“One, two, three… hmm, you healed and saved dozens! Then, how many did you kill alone?”
Saving lives is naturally harder than killing.
Perhaps killing could even be harder than saving.
But killing is merely hastening the natural course, whereas saving goes against it.
Of course, walking backward is harder than walking forward.
“Since you scolded our uncle too, I guess you must have killed that many?”
It’s rare for a single soldier to be able to slay a monster.
Even the weakest monsters move in groups as a precaution, so one person rarely engages them alone.
Unless you’re a high-level paladin blessed with divine power, you normally wouldn’t rush in solo.
“Another uncle said people stick with their own kind… so whatever can be said about them probably depends on who they’re with, right?”
“Miss, maybe it’s time we go….”
The soldier trembled at Esther’s wide-eyed questioning, finally raising his voice.
“What kind of nonsense have you been spouting…!”
“Nonsense? Isn’t it nonsense when you keep scolding my uncle?”
Cardem froze.
He hadn’t expected the child to say “my uncle.”
For Esther, there was always a subtle line, a kind of wall—she treated everyone with the same reserved demeanor.
Even him. Even her parents. Even the whole world.
“….”
“My uncle saved a lot of people, you know? Not just saved, but he faced death dozens of times while doing his best, right?”
Cardem’s eyes widened at Esther’s words. He couldn’t even blink.
“Is the pain of having your eyes cut different from the pain of your heart being pierced? If so, is your pain greater?”
No one had ever said that to Cardem before, so he couldn’t hide the bewilderment on his face.
“Well….”
He stammered, lips trembling, managing only a single word.
“Those clerics aren’t even going to die anyway, so what does it matter!”
The words came out harshly, but they were reality.
Many might think that, but no one would dare say it aloud.
“Exactly. My uncle doesn’t die, so you can ignore it, right?”
Esther tilted her head with a small frown.
“Right, uncle?”
Her wide-eyed gaze and head tilt left the soldier speechless, unable to respond.
Cardem couldn’t give a satisfying answer or even play along.
“Ah! Samchon! Let’s start a business!”
“…A business, suddenly?”
“Yes! We’ll save people who pay the most first. Quit being a cleric~ They don’t pay for that anyway.”
“…Well, that’s true.”
“Yes! Let’s make money! Big bucks! Should we set up a stall here? Jackpot!”
Esther dragged a scrap of tent cloth nearby, beaming happily.
She hadn’t seen the battlefield, so she didn’t grasp the seriousness, but Cardem couldn’t erase the thought forming in his mind.
“…You know, miss. You kind of… look like a gangster right now.”
Unable to bring himself to say “thug” or “delinquent,” Cardem chose the mildest term he could.
Esther’s eyes widened at his serious tone while she laid the ragged tent cloth on the ground.
“Why?”
“No matter what, taking money is….”
“But, uncle, if you don’t make them understand that this isn’t normal, they’ll just keep blaming you. Will they live like this forever?”
With a deep sigh, Esther bounced over and grabbed Cardem’s sleeve.
“And you have to make money when you can. If you sacrifice yourself alone, no one will notice. And later, you might get stabbed in the back?”
Esther plopped onto the cloth. Seeing this, Siphon draped a soft blanket over her shoulders and handed her a warm mug of milk, making her look like a child setting up a stall right in the middle of a battlefield.
“Hurry.”
Esther tapped the spot beside her. Cardem, unsure, watched as she sighed deeply.
“Uncle, come here.”
At her words, Cardem slowly approached and knelt.
When Esther tugged his sleeve, he plopped down beside her.
“Siphon.”
“Yes, miss.”
Siphon wrapped a thick blanket around Cardem’s shoulders and handed him a mug of warm milk, just like Esther.
“Um, uncle.”
“Hm?”
“Do you know why people like you are called what they are?”
“…I’m not sure.”
Cardem murmured at the milk with a bewildered expression.
Esther’s gaze sharpened.
“Ho. Gu.”
“…What?”
“The biggest fool in the world!”
Cardem pursed his lips at her serious, piercing expression.
Soon, his lips trembled, and a laugh finally burst out.
“Pff….”
He laughed heartily.
He never expected to hear this aloud. Words he always thought silently, now spoken by someone else.
“Right, I’m a fool.”
“Yes, uncle, you’re a fool. Being a fool isn’t good. Time to break out of it. Looks like your genius niece will have to help.”
At Esther’s words, Cardem smiled and tilted the mug slightly.
Sweetened with a lot of honey, it was cloyingly sweet.
Normally he would have frowned, but today, somehow, it tasted pleasantly on his tongue.
“I see.”
Cardem answered with a voice laced with laughter.
Always using his powers in the name of the apostles of God, he often felt utterly drained.
His body felt worn and turned to ashes, trapped in an endless cycle.
If he had to sum up his feelings in one word, it would be: he wanted to die.
If he saved, he was criticized; if he didn’t, he was criticized.
It hurt whether he acted or not. To live in a body that felt pain without dying was a true curse.
The life of a healer, burning oneself for others, was pure misery.
Cardem was a tool of the temple. Tools exist to be used.
He could control nothing. Tools cannot think; they act only when commanded.
Raised and indoctrinated this way, he naturally believed it.
So, he had never felt this way before, nor heard words like this.
Perhaps that was why his heart felt so light now.
“Hmm. Then, should we give a million Mylon to each person, as you said?”
“No, ten million Mylon!”
At Esther’s bold proclamation, he chuckled.
“What blasphemous words…! Using God-given powers for such trivial matters….”
Clerics who had just learned of the situation rushed over, gasping in shock, raising their voices at Cardem.
“Cardem! Armos is watching everything! Have you forgotten your duty? You received your powers from God and nothing else. You are not special; it is Armos you serve who is great, and you are merely a tool. Have you forgotten this teaching?!”
A cleric, appearing in his forties or fifties, stood before Cardem and began lecturing.
Cardem’s expression stiffened slightly.
“As I’ve repeatedly said, the divine power you received is not to be hoarded selfishly, but shared with all. Was the Pope’s teaching insufficient? Or was your education lacking? Whatever the reason, this is serious. You must report to the Pope and receive further training.”
At the word “training,” Cardem’s expression darkened instantly.
Crushed by years of fear and terror, he closed his lips tightly.
Like a young elephant tamed by all possible methods, even into adulthood it would not resist humans nor think of breaking free.
Cardem clearly had similar experiences.
‘Among those who claim God’s name, there’s not a single decent one.’
Well, with the gods themselves being far from decent, what could he do?
“Immediately stand and help those in need….”
“Whatever, if it’s given to me, it’s mine.”
Esther cut in bluntly.
“…What did you just say? Are you serious…?”
“Isn’t that right?”
Esther said with a rather delinquent look.
