Chapter 35
“Eslyn!”
Though he was smaller than most men his age, Erdan was still a fully grown adult male.
Eslyn staggered under his weight, unable to bear his sudden embrace. Her breath was knocked out of her.
“Eslyn, Eslyn, Eslyn!”
Erdan didn’t care at all.
He just clung to her desperately, repeating her name over and over as if he had finally caught a mirage that would vanish forever if he let go.
Seeing his desperate embrace, the calm mask Eslyn wore began to crack, her nose stinging with emotion.
“…Erdan.”
He smelled so familiar, so achingly nostalgic. Tears welled up in her eyes without warning.
“What happened? I thought… I thought you were dead. Wait, are you dead? What is this, what’s going on…?”
Erdan rambled on, clinging to her so tightly it hurt.
Eslyn gently patted his back.
“Calm down.”
“I can’t believe you’re really back. All this time, I had no idea…”
Finally, his tears spilled over. He wept like a child, for a long time.
It was the first time he’d cried like this since becoming an adult.
Did you cry like this when I died too…?
Her heart felt like it was being torn into thousands of pieces.
“What happened? Tell me, Eslyn. Please tell me. This isn’t a dream, is it? Even if it is, tell me it’s not…”
Once his sobbing calmed, the flood of questions began.
Eslyn seized the moment to pry him off. His grip had been suffocating.
“I’ll explain everything. But first, let me go for a second.”
“No.”
“I can’t breathe. Are you trying to kill me twice?”
Reluctantly, truly reluctantly, Erdan let her go. Under the moonlight, his pale face was streaked with tears.
“Why… I’m scared you’ll disappear again.”
He muttered half-sobbing, like a child pouting. Eslyn gasped for air she hadn’t realized she needed so badly.
“What happened?”
“I’ll tell you everything, step by step. But first, there’s something I need to say.”
“What is it?”
Eslyn bit her lip and looked directly at him.
This was something she had to say. The very reason she revealed herself tonight.
She drew in a deep breath, her clear eyes glinting with sharp resolve.
“Erdan Bertania.”
Whack!
A clean, sharp smack echoed in the night.
“Ah!”
Erdan crumpled to the ground, clutching his shin.
“How dare you think about killing yourself?”
Her furious voice rained down on his bowed head.
Erdan blinked, stunned, trying to process what just happened.
Did she just… hit me?
“Did you… did you just hit me?”
He muttered in disbelief.
“You died and came back just to hit me?”
“Yeah. Watching you act so pathetic, I came back just to beat some sense into you!”
Eslyn shot back without hesitation.
Erdan looked up at her with his teary, crumpled face, utterly robbed of his earlier joy.
“How could you… how could you try to kill yourself?”
But Eslyn’s rage vanished as quickly as it came. She sank down to the ground, her clear eyes brimming with tears that spilled over in thick drops.
Erdan froze, unable to move.
“How could you even think of dying…”
“Eslyn.”
“Do you know what I went through to save you?”
His brows furrowed, confusion and guilt twisting his features.
He had never seen Eslyn cry like this before.
“I begged and begged that bastard Cardan to spare you. I took that poison to protect you and my people!”
Erdan bit down on his lip hard.
“…I know, Eslyn.”
His voice came out tightly restrained, trembling.
“I know you bowed your head to Cardan to save my life. I know you drank that poison to protect your loyal retainers.”
He locked eyes with her, his gaze full of agony.
“But Eslyn… how was I supposed to live with that? You were half of me.”
“…….”
“How was I supposed to bear it?”
He let out a shaky breath, clenching his trembling hands into fists to no avail.
“Was I supposed to just step over your corpse and keep living proudly?”
“Yes!”
Eslyn screamed, almost convulsing with emotion.
“That was my choice!”
Her reddened eyes burned fiercely.
It was her decision to save him.
And now he dared to throw that life away.
Unforgivable.
“Saving you was my final choice!”
“No, no, Eslyn…”
Erdan shook his head violently, tears falling again.
“That wasn’t right. None of your choices ever included yourself.”
“…….”
“No one… no one ever wanted you to sacrifice yourself like that.”
Eslyn fell silent.
Sacrifice…
She had never thought of it that way.
Of course, she wished they could have survived together.
But back then, it wasn’t possible.
If she had tried to live, not only Erdan but all her retainers would have died.
So she had done what a princess should—made the most rational choice, the one that protected the most lives.
Even if she could go back, she would choose the same.
“It was the only choice I could make.”
“You… you really don’t understand what I’m saying, do you?”
Erdan let out a long sigh. A silence fell between them, broken only when he shook his head.
“Never mind. Let’s stop. I didn’t come here to fight with you.”
“…….”
“Does it matter who was right or wrong? None of that matters now. What matters is… you’re back.”
From his pocket, he pulled out a soft handkerchief and wiped away her tears.
The clouds drifted, and the moon, half-hidden until now, shone fully over them.
He had so much he wanted to say to her, but he put it all aside for now.
He only wanted to say one thing:
“Welcome back, Eslyn.”
Under the pale moonlight, her face shone clearly.
Erdan took in every detail, committing her features to memory.
The face that could no longer be called his twin’s…
There was a faint sadness in his gaze. But he forced himself not to be greedy.
She was his family, long thought dead, now returned.
That alone was enough.
Tebet Reperius stood at his final crossroads.
To the right lay the road to the capital.
To the left, the road to the south.
He had already informed others that he would head to the capital, but standing here, at this decisive fork, he hesitated.
Once he chose, there would be no turning back.
This was the last road south.
“…….”
He closed his eyes and lifted his head, letting out a long, quiet breath.
Moonlight spilled over his face, but he felt nothing, as though all sensation had been stripped from him.
He couldn’t even remember how he had gotten here. When had he last slept? When had he last eaten? It was all a blur.
“Please write me a recommendation letter to the Imperial Palace.”
“I’ve secured her a ticket for the southbound carriage.”
Voices swirled through his mind.
The housekeeper’s voice, and that nameless servant’s voice.
He clenched his reins tightly. Clack. His teeth ground together. His wounds throbbed.
Damn it. Tebet muttered under his breath.
If not for these injuries, he would have caught up with her long ago.
What if she’s already left the continent?
Even the thought made his mind go dizzy with fear. His tired eyes lost focus, staring blankly into the void.
Then, suddenly, he heard a young voice from deep in his memory.
“Housekeeper, I want to ride a ship and leave the continent someday.”
“Young Master, that is impossible.”
“Why?”
“Because you are a Reperius.”
“But why does that matter?”
“Young Master.”
“Yes?”
“What I’m about to tell you is the greatest secret of the Reperius bloodline. You must never let anyone find out.”
“…What is it?”
“In our blood flows an ancient curse.”
“A curse?”
“A curse that prevents us from ever leaving this continent.”
Did he cry at those words, or did he scream in rage?
He no longer remembered.
All he knew was that from that moment on,
He learned to give up.
Crossing the sea, dreaming of a different life, leaving Reperius behind…
All of it became impossible dreams.
Tebet grew up with Reperius in his bones.
Reperius was the symbol of neutrality. The unweighted scales that never tipped to either side.
And for the scales to remain balanced, both plates had to remain empty.
That was the unspoken law.
A shackle his distant ancestors had willingly placed upon themselves.
“Never choose anything. That is what it means to be Reperius. If you want to keep your place on this continent, do not let yourself be swayed by anything.”
His father’s stern voice had always bound him like chains.
But at some point…
Tebet began to hate seeing his own empty hands.
He wanted to grip something tightly.
He wanted to embrace something without letting go.
He wanted to break those chains and fly away.
When did that start…?
Ah, it was when he found someone he could never give up on.
“…….”
Tebet opened his eyes. There was no more time to hesitate.
To the right lay the road to the capital.
To the left, the road to the south.
Slowly, he turned his horse’s head to the right.
Reperius can never cross the sea.
So perhaps this was merely his hope speaking.
That Eslyn had headed to the capital. That she was still within the palace walls.
Of course, it was possible she had pretended to go north but slipped away to the south.
But Tebet chose not to think about that possibility.
“Please….”
Let her be at the end of this road.
He snapped the reins.
His horse neighed loudly and kicked off the ground with powerful strides.
A storm-like wind slammed against his body.
The black road opened its gaping maw like a beast, swallowing him whole.
He was afraid, but he did not stop.
Please… don’t let her have abandoned me…
It was the prayer of a man returning home.
