Chapter 54
Why? For what reason?
That sudden question flashed through Hestia’s mind as she slowly closed and reopened her eyes. Yet her vision was still filled with the distorted, anguished face of Terhan.
“Are you all right? Please, just… say something, anything….”
Still holding her hand tightly, Terhan bowed his head deeply.
The faint trembling of his grip must have been due to her own body still not fully recovering.
No, she must have been mistaken.
Terhan had no reason to shed tears for her. It was only because she had dreamt of Linus that her emotions felt projected onto him.
“…I’m fine.”
Her voice rasped out dryly, like sand scraping between her teeth.
“Are you awake? Do you recognize me?”
Fortunately, it seemed Terhan had heard her, for he jerked his head up at once. His golden eyes trembled with relief and other emotions too complex to name.
With great effort, Hestia forced her stiff neck to nod.
“I’m… fine.”
She put as much strength as she could into the words. Pain scratched down her throat, forcing her brows into a frown.
She was the one who was hurt, but the desperate sincerity and worry flooding from him washed over her so strongly that she felt she had to reassure him first. No—she wanted to soothe him first.
Strangely enough, that was truly how she felt. Perhaps it was because of those eyes that seemed to hold only her.
“Haah… What on earth were you thinking!”
Terhan raked his fingers roughly through his hair, his voice brimming with anger and anguish.
“No… no, that’s not it.”
He exhaled deeply, trying to suppress it, and instead left his hair tousled in frustration.
Watching him like that, Hestia couldn’t help but let out a faint, fragile laugh.
“…You’re laughing? Do you think this is funny? Do you even understand the state your body is in, and yet you laugh?”
Terhan’s scolding came with a bitter, disbelieving laugh, but his voice was steeped in worry.
“Don’t worry… I don’t even have the strength to laugh properly.”
Her lips curved again, trembling with a powerless smile.
She understood perfectly well what he was worried about.
“I know my condition better than anyone… Don’t worry.”
She tried to lift the corners of her lips with all her strength, but without energy she had no idea what expression she managed.
Judging by Terhan’s even more twisted expression, it wasn’t a good one.
“Who’s worrying about whom right now… Haah. Forget it. Just stay awake. I’ll bring the physician immediately.”
He bit back his frustration and tried to rise to his feet.
“…Just a little longer.”
But Hestia’s frail hand clung to him, keeping him from leaving.
She couldn’t let go yet. If she released his hand now, it felt like she would be pulled back into the darkness. Her blurring vision seemed to want to drag her straight into that nightmare again.
So—
“Just… a little longer…”
Her consciousness slipped away.
A few hours earlier—
“Why hasn’t she woken yet?”
The sun had risen again, but Hestia still had not opened her eyes.
“Well… that is….”
Grain Hubert, the second prince’s personal physician, nervously stroked his white beard, unable to give Terhan a clear answer.
“There are no signs of poisoning, and though her organs were twisted so severely when I first examined her that it wouldn’t have been strange if she’d died on the spot… now she looks almost stable. In forty years of practice, I’ve never seen such a case. I simply don’t know what to say…”
Terhan’s frustration mounted.
“Haah…”
He took a long, deep breath to hold himself together. He didn’t want to raise his voice near Hestia. He wanted to show her only the best of himself, whatever little of it remained.
“If the physician doesn’t know, then who possibly could?”
His sharp gaze cut toward Grain.
“Still… judging from her recovery, she may awaken soon. Ahem, ahem…”
The physician dabbed at the sweat dripping down his forehead with a handkerchief, clearing his throat repeatedly.
“But… who is this young lady, anyway…?”
“…”
Grain cautiously tested the waters, but Terhan’s cold, warning glare told him to stop prying.
“Ahem, forgive me. If you’ll just allow me a little more time, I’ll be sure to—”
“That won’t be necessary.”
Terhan cut him off immediately. Unless the answer came now, it was meaningless.
Grain had been his physician since childhood, one of his closest aides. His passion for knowledge outweighed his duties as a doctor, which was why he had been pushed to the second prince’s palace, yet his medical skill was unmatched.
If even Grain said he didn’t know, then truly, there was no explanation.
“You may leave.”
Terhan dismissed him sharply, his tone so cold that even the air in the room seemed to freeze. Grain, cowed, retreated at once.
Terhan’s eyes were drawn back to Hestia.
Her complexion was far better than the first day, and her breathing had steadied.
“Hestia… please.”
He sank to his knees at her bedside, folding his hands in fervent prayer.
He wasn’t a man of faith, but his desperation made him bow as though before a god. A suffocating wish pressed upon his chest, though he had no idea to whom he prayed.
It was the only thing he could do for her. Apart from swallowing his bitter tears of helplessness.
At first, he thought she was simply oversleeping. But then—
“Sir Milan! Lady Reina, she… she—”
The sobbing words of Sonya had sent him running, throwing aside his papers.
Finding Hestia unconscious, he had ordered Milan and Sonya to keep their silence, telling others she had gone out on an errand.
It was only because he knew she would want it that way—because she was someone who would rather hide her existence than her life.
Then he had moved her swiftly to the chamber beside his own.
So no one else could see.
So only he could.
And thus five days had passed with him at her side.
Still, Hestia had not awakened. If he at least knew the cause, it might hurt less, but with no answers, his torment only deepened.
“No more…”
Lifting his bowed head, his eyes burned with grief. His voice shook with emotion, threatening to spill over into sobs.
If you leave me too… what am I supposed to do?
So please—
“Wake up.”
I won’t ask you anything. I won’t question who you are.
Just please—
“Hestia…”
His trembling hand hovered over her face, tracing her outline in the air, unable to touch her.
It was all he could do—to draw her face in the empty air, pouring all his longing into the gesture.
Then—
Hestia exhaled a long breath, and at last, the bright brown eyes he thought he would never see again slowly opened.
His heart plummeted at the sight. His breath quickened, a strange tingling rushed through his body.
It was relief at seeing her again. Rage at himself for being powerless. And desperate yearning, because he couldn’t bear to lose her.
He clenched his floating hand into a fist, trying to rein himself in—when suddenly Hestia let out a pained breath and—
Tak.
Her frail fingers caught his hand.
So weak, so delicate—yet he let her bind him willingly.
On that pale, deathly face, breath began to return.
When her dim eyes finally turned to meet his, Terhan nearly burst with the heat rising from his heart. All he could do was bow his head, pressing his forehead to the hand that clutched his, hiding his face.
If he looked at her now, he would not be able to swallow back the sob clawing its way up.
His body trembled with the effort, but he only prayed she hadn’t noticed.
“…Don’t… worry.”
Who was reassuring whom? Her parched voice saying she was fine, telling him not to worry, only made his head spin with anger.
At himself, so weak and useless.
At Hestia, who still thought of him before herself.
At her smile—so unbearably sad.
Her eyes began to cloud, her lids growing heavy. Terhan hastened to rise, ready to call Grain back.
But the fragile hand clinging to him held him there.
“…Just a little longer.”
It was the first time.
The first time she had reached for him first.
“Just… a little while…”
The joy of that truth filled Terhan so completely that he felt his mind reel. Once again, he was helplessly swept away by the emotions she stirred.
Wherever they might lead. Even if he had no idea where that was.
Another full day passed before Hestia finally awoke fully.
And now, she found herself in a very awkward situation.
“Here. Quickly, open your mouth.”
Seated beside the bed, Terhan held out a spoonful of thin soup.
“…”
Hestia scrunched her brows, her face twisted with self-reproach.
It had been a mistake to drop the water cup he had handed her as soon as she woke. She should have clung to it desperately, no matter what.
Regret was useless now, but still…
“To think I must remain in bed before Your Highness is shameful enough—how can you go this far? Please, call for Sonya instead…”
This was absurd.
How could anyone possibly sit still and allow a prince to feed them?
