Chapter 37
Johannes slowly looked over my outfit.
Of course, I was wearing a perfectly normal negligee. But negligees were usually made of thin fabric and often had deep cuts here or there.
Normally, I would’ve been self-conscious, but I was too engrossed in the mysterious letter to care about anything else.
“Ah.”
Only then did I notice Johannes’s loosely tied robe. I tried hard not to let my eyes linger on his bare skin and turned my head away.
“I wonder where you got the idea that I don’t see you as a woman.”
“……”
“I see you fully as a woman.”
Yet his expression lacked any real emotion. In fact, it even seemed slightly irritated.
Whatever the reason, it was clear I had offended him, so it was only right to apologize.
“……I apologize for my attire. I didn’t think it would bother you, Your Grace. I’ll be more careful in the future.”
When I calmly responded, Johannes furrowed his brows slightly. Then, with an unreadable expression, he leaned his upper body against the bedpost, putting some distance between us.
I gazed at his profile blankly. He habitually reached for a cigarette but crumpled it when our eyes met.
His still-damp blond hair sparkled under the lamp light. The usual sharpness of his features seemed a little softer.
“Isn’t there something you want to ask me?”
The man who had been acting like he didn’t care about me suddenly turned his head and spoke. His voice was calm, as if nothing had happened.
“Pardon?”
“My wife seems to need more practice hiding her expressions.”
“Ah.”
Only then did I realize what he was getting at.
He must have thought I was lost in thought because of Sina’s words—that I had heard something about the Scandia Continent.
In truth, I had completely forgotten about that. But it was something I needed to ask eventually.
Once I dealt with the letter, my wariness of Johannes would surely resurface.
Was this the right time? I straightened up and looked directly at him.
“Then… if I ask, will you answer honestly? If you truly consider me your wife…”
“What are you talking about?”
Johannes frowned, as if he’d just heard something ridiculous. Then he said firmly, as if to reassure me:
“Edith Schultz, you are my wife. That’s an indisputable fact.”
“But only because—”
“There seems to be a misunderstanding, so let me be clear. If it hadn’t been you, I never would have proposed to anyone.”
I shut my mouth tightly.
His words, which might’ve been just empty comfort, struck me deeply. Maybe I had been waiting to hear something like that from him.
“Then…”
I finally managed to voice the words that had been stuck on the tip of my tongue.
“Please tell me. Aside from unavoidable circumstances… did you truly slaughter innocent people and kill your own subordinate?”
I held my breath after asking.
“And if I tell you… will you believe me?”
Johannes asked, his expression stiff. I tilted my head as if to say it was obvious.
“As you said, I think of you as my husband.”
Now that I think about it, if it hadn’t been Johannes, I might not have accepted the marriage proposal at all.
So I had no reason not to trust him. I accepted his proposal because I trusted him.
“I’ll believe you.”
The moment those words left my lips, Johannes’s expression changed subtly.
He then explained why he had no choice but to kill his subordinate with his own hands.
On the battlefield, that subordinate had been suffering from a mysterious plague and begged Johannes to end his life. Since the man was already doomed, Johannes decided it was kinder to give him a painless death.
“So even if you hate me, I hope there won’t be any misunderstandings.”
After finishing, Johannes smiled faintly. I, still dazed from his story, tilted my head at his next words.
“……What do you mean? Why would I hate you?”
“I understand. I pushed this marriage through on my own terms. You must not have many good feelings toward me.”
“What?”
Where had he gotten the idea that I hated him?
I wasn’t sure where the misunderstanding started, but I had never hated him. Yes, I had been afraid for a moment because of Sina’s words, but his explanation had actually made me feel sympathy for him.
Just how much pressure had he been under as a commander on such a ruthless battlefield? What must it have felt like to kill his own subordinate?
Those thoughts stirred within me. And to have made him recall such painful memories…
I closed my eyes tightly.
Johannes had helped me countless times. How could I possibly hate someone like that?
As I frowned slightly, he must have misread my expression again. He said,
“I feel like there’s something I haven’t told you.”
“What is it…?”
“I know it’s odd to say this now, but no matter what happens, I’ll trust you. And I hope you’ll do the same—for me. Just like now.”
“I promise.”
At that, Johannes held out his pinky finger. I almost laughed at the gesture.
“……Are you serious?”
“Why not? It’s not like we’re signing a contract.”
I stared at his large hand for a moment, then slowly linked my finger with his.
It felt a little silly, but this was our own personal promise.
I gripped his hand a little tighter and pulled it toward me.
Then I slowly reached for his shoulder. Johannes flinched.
I hesitated over whether I had the right to comfort him.
But it finally felt like we were truly husband and wife now. I figured a small comfort wasn’t too much.
Recalling the faintly clouded look in his eyes as he spoke of the battlefield, I gently patted his back.
“You’ve been through a lot.”
The late winter sunlight streamed through the tall windows and fell across my face.
I frowned slightly, but then felt a sudden shadow and slowly opened my eyes.
Johannes, his expression relaxed, was staring at me intently.
Startled, I quickly pulled away—almost falling off the bed. Just as I was about to tumble, he caught me by the waist.
I slowly opened the eyes I had squeezed shut. Johannes smiled and said,
“As always, my wife lacks caution.”
Still groggy, my emotions flared up, and I responded a bit loudly,
“That’s because you… Why were you watching me like that in the first place? No, more importantly, can you let go now…?”
As I wriggled uncomfortably, Johannes raised a brow.
“Are you sure you want me to let go?”
“……No. Please lift me up.”
He chuckled and released me. Running his hand through his slightly tousled hair, he said,
“You slept so soundly. It was fascinating.”
“What was…?”
“I was curious how long you could stay so relaxed. Even if you don’t have feelings for me, I am your husband. Shouldn’t there be a little tension?”
Now that he mentioned it… When had I fallen asleep? I had been gently patting him and then…
Oh no.
Last night came rushing back to me.
We had almost kissed with no one around to interrupt. Embarrassed, I shot up in bed, trying to hide my reddening cheeks.
‘Looks like I’ll have more trouble keeping my wife fed from now on.’
Even though Johannes had joked, I laughed anyway. And when he came closer, I had almost closed my eyes…
Then I had turned away at the last moment.
‘I’m tired. I should sleep.’
That’s the last thing I remembered before closing my eyes tightly.
I must have fallen asleep without realizing.
“What about breakfast?”
Johannes asked casually from behind me, as if nothing had happened the night before.
It was best not to make a big deal out of it. I schooled my expression and turned toward him. I had something to say anyway.
“I’m going to stop by the post office early today. I’ll eat after I get back.”
“The post office?”
“Yes. I need to send a letter to a friend who lives far away.”
Of course, I didn’t have any such friend, but Johannes had no way of knowing that. A little lie wouldn’t hurt.
Anyway, to find the sender of the letter, I had to go to the post office.
I smiled casually to cover my lie, and Johannes frowned slightly as he said,
“You could have sent a servant.”
“No, I’d like to go out and see the city again. It’s been a while.”
“……Then at least take an escort. If you don’t want that, I could accompany you.”
“That would be more uncomfortable. It feels wrong to take up the Duke’s time for my personal errands.”
Johannes likely hadn’t meant anything by it, but I continued, speaking to his narrowed eyes,
“I’ll just take Ahin. It’s only the post office—no need to make a big deal out of it. It’s just a personal matter.”
