Chapter 44
His every action, his tone of voice—they all bothered me. But could this truly be called love? I had resolved to act as my heart dictated, yet I couldn’t quite grasp what my heart really felt.
“Honestly, I don’t know how I’m supposed to treat Your Highness.”
I lifted my gaze and met his. A flicker of something strange lit up in his eyes.
“That’s why I find you uncomfortable and unsettling.”
At my words, the sharpness in his gaze softened into a gentle curve.
“So at least it’s not the worst. That’s a relief.”
His voice, laced with a faint sigh, was as sweet as honey.
“Let’s go with this color for the dress.”
I pointed to a bolt of deep green silk closest to me. Anasha carefully inspected the fabric, then jotted it down on paper.
“The hat should be made with this material as well. What do you think?”
“I think that would be good.”
“Since you’ll be under the sun for a long time, it would be best to make the brim wide, don’t you agree?”
“As long as it’s not cumbersome.”
Anasha smiled as she wrote down every one of my requests.
In ten days, the Imperial Hunting Tournament would be held. It was one of the grand annual events of the imperial family, attended not only by the royals but also by high-ranking nobles invited to join in the hunt.
It wasn’t a real, serious hunt but more of a pastime, which meant that women as well as men took part. Unlike before, now that my coming-of-age ceremony was over, I was required to attend this year’s hunt as the crown prince’s fiancée.
That meant I needed a light, easily-movable dress. Upon hearing the news, Anasha had come to me of her own accord, noting down everything I would need—from hat to shoes.
Once she was finished, she set down her pen with a smile. At her gesture, the waiting maids cleared away the piles of fabrics on the table. In their place, a teacup steaming with fragrant vapor and a plate of sweet cookies were set down.
“Oh my, what tea is this? The fragrance is wonderful!”
Anasha exclaimed after taking a sip. The golden-colored tea filled the room with a sweet aroma.
“It’s made from the Leisha flower. If you like it, I’ll pack some for you before you go.”
“L–Leisha flower, you say?”
Her eyes went wide as she looked back and forth between me and the teacup.
“If it’s the Leisha flower, isn’t that the symbol of the crown princess…?”
Her voice trailed off uncertainly. I nodded.
“Yes, that very flower.”
“H–how…?”
Her surprise was natural. The Leisha flower, being the crown princess’s symbolic bloom, was not something ordinary noble households were allowed to cultivate.
Because of the flowers sent from the imperial palace, not only my room but the entire estate was overflowing with Leisha blossoms. Since they were gifts directly from the emperor, they couldn’t simply be discarded. When the maids didn’t know what to do with the withering flowers, I eventually went to the emperor myself and made a request—though not exactly a formal one.
The Leisha flower was edible. Moreover, it had excellent effects for skin health and for preventing women’s ailments. The only reason it wasn’t commonly used was because cultivation was restricted.
I asked the emperor if it would be permissible to use them for tea or jam, rather than letting them go to waste. Though he looked surprised for a moment, he soon laughed heartily and told me to do as I pleased.
I thought that would settle the matter—but clearly, I had underestimated him. From that day on, he sent me cartloads of Leisha and other edible flowers every day.
“You may rest easy. I have His Majesty’s permission.”
I let out a sigh as I recalled the ever-multiplying flowers filling the estate. Watching me, Anasha chuckled mischievously.
“They say a father-in-law always dotes on his daughter-in-law. It seems you’re being loved even before the wedding.”
Indeed, the emperor was generous with me. Even though my marriage with the crown prince had been delayed indefinitely, he never once expressed disappointment. He treated me with the same warmth as always.
Whether the attitudes of the crown prince and the emperor were genuine or not—I decided I would no longer dwell on it. Whatever their true intentions, I resolved to simply accept the favor they showed me at face value.
To keep second-guessing their motives and doubting them would only lead to endless exhaustion. If I allowed myself to be consumed by suspicion, my spirit would wither away. Better to trust what I could see before my eyes.
And if they ever betrayed that trust, I could think about revenge then. There was no need to run away preemptively, out of fear of being hurt.
“By the way, you mentioned something happened in the west?”
Though I deliberately changed the subject, Anasha didn’t pry and simply answered.
“Yes. It must be quite serious, since Evan himself went there.”
“You don’t know exactly what the matter is?”
“It seemed urgent, so he left in a hurry. I didn’t hear the details.”
The fact that Evan had gone to the west stuck in my mind. I had instructed him to investigate the Duchy of Deisha, which lay in that direction. Of course, that wasn’t the only matter in the west, but I couldn’t shake a bad feeling. I tapped my fingers on the table.
It would still be about two years before she came to the capital. And yet, the mere thought of her left a sour taste in my mouth, remnants of my old feelings I could not help.
“Was Evan doing well?”
“A carrier pigeon arrived yesterday. It seems nothing has happened so far. Why? Are you worried about something?”
“No, I was just wondering if the wound on his neck had healed.”
“Ah!”
As though she had remembered something, Anasha let out a small exclamation, then beamed at me. Fine lines crinkled at the corners of her eyes as her characteristic eye-smile appeared.
“Evan’s wound wasn’t as deep as it looked. He was treated by an excellent physician.”
“That’s a relief.”
She tilted her head, her eyes twinkling mischievously as though she had found a new toy.
“More importantly, is it true His Highness the Crown Prince is as jealous as the rumors say? I can hardly imagine such a thing from someone known to be so gentle.”
“Ah…”
Even someone like me, indifferent to gossip, couldn’t help feeling embarrassed at this. Because the incident had happened in the middle of the main street, the rumor had spread uncontrollably.
Some malicious rumors even claimed that the crown prince had personally attacked Evan with a blade after catching us in an illicit affair. Evan’s continued absence only seemed to lend credibility to that version.
The merchant guild quickly revealed Evan’s identity, clarifying that my relationship with him was merely that of the former guild master’s granddaughter meeting the current guild master.
The crown prince himself explained it away, saying it had been nothing more than a misunderstanding born of his jealousy at seeing another man standing beside me.
To reinforce this, he began visiting the Elient estate almost daily, as if to flaunt the closeness of our relationship. Claiming he was simply happy to have an excuse to see me, he came again and again.
Stripping away all the complicated emotions, he was actually a rather decent companion. Though he had the crown prince’s characteristic arrogance, it paired well with his confidence, making him all the more charming and spirited.
His innate courtesy put people at ease, and the sculpted lines of his handsome face, lit by his radiant smile, were pleasing to look at.
Having such a man—perfect in ability, personality, and looks—like me was, admittedly, flattering. My heart might beat wildly at times, but I couldn’t bring myself to dislike his bold advances.
I didn’t know what the future held, but perhaps letting myself go along with these feelings wouldn’t be so bad. I found myself almost looking forward to how he might try to win me over.
The sun blazed fiercely overhead. Horses neighed, and the clashing of knights’ armor rang noisily in the air.
The hunting grounds lay about three hours’ ride from the imperial palace, deep in the mountains. Since it was the emperor, the royal family, and high-ranking nobles making the journey, the once-a-year hunt was counted among the empire’s top five grand national events.
Before the palace gates, countless horses and carriages had gathered, ready to depart. From early morning, imperial attendants and house servants had been bustling about, preparing for their masters’ journey.
As departure time drew near, nobles who had been standing in small groups began boarding their carriages or mounting their horses one by one. I, too, was about to step into my waiting carriage when—
“Ah!”
The hat I was wearing to block the sunlight wavered in the breeze. Just as I instinctively reached to steady it, a firm weight pressed it down.
“Be careful.”
A low voice rumbled above me. When I looked up, deep blue eyes were gazing down at me.
“Thank you.”
The marquis made no reply, merely adjusted the hat in his hands as though to straighten its crooked angle. Surprised by his unexpected action, I simply stood still and let him fuss with it.
But he didn’t seem accustomed to this sort of thing. Despite his serious expression, the wide-brimmed hat kept slipping awkwardly through his fingers. His brows twitched upward as he glared at the stubborn thing.
“Hmph…”
A sigh, almost a groan, slipped from his lips.
I barely stifled a laugh. These days, unlike before, he seemed to be making an effort to come closer to me. I didn’t know what had brought about the change, but I didn’t dislike it.
Watching him struggle with my hat was amusing, but there wasn’t much time left before departure. I placed my hand lightly over his.
He flinched at my touch but didn’t withdraw or resist. Together, I adjusted the hat back into place.
“This is how it should be done.”
When I let go, he released the hat as well. He gazed down at me silently.
“Do you have something you wish to say to me?”
His face remained expressionless, but I had begun to understand what that meant. When he stared at me for a long time, it usually meant there was something he wanted to say.
“I…”
Buuuu!
A trumpet blast cut him off. It was the signal that departure was imminent. His eyes shifted toward the emperor and empress as they boarded their carriage. His brow creased slightly.
“Shouldn’t you be at His Majesty’s side?”
After all, the marquis was the chancellor of this empire. He was supposed to ride with the emperor. A low sigh escaped from his lips.
