Chapter 53
Alesia leaned her head on Franz’s shoulder, her mind dizzy with swirling memories.
While kissing him just now, terrible memories had flooded her head—memories she shuddered to recall.
But they were strangely twisted.
They weren’t hers.
They were Franz’s.
A man who had loved Alesia fiercely but, not knowing how to love properly, had led her to death.
A sinner, a perpetrator—and also a victim.
She blinked through the confusion, and each blink glued her tears to her lashes.
A shaky breath escaped her lips.
“…What are all these… these memories?”
“Don’t be confused. Everything that happened back then—it was all my fault.”
At Franz’s voice, Alesia flinched. He carefully continued,
“I was weak… and cowardly. That’s why I hurt you.”
“You hurt me?”
Alesia let out a hollow laugh, tears streaming down her cheeks.
She slowly pulled herself away from him. Her head spun.
She rubbed her temples and sneered.
“You make it sound so simple.”
“Sor—”
“Saying sorry like it’s nothing—how am I supposed to accept that? Am I supposed to say, ‘Oh, I see. It couldn’t be helped. That’s fine,’ is that it?”
“You were so precious to me… I didn’t want to risk anything that could harm you.”
“That’s just an excuse. You were the biggest threat to me. I wasn’t tormented because of the First Prince. It was because of you.”
Alesia clutched her head. Franz’s memories were fragmented—
so many gaps, jumbled images.
Especially the moments after her death—they were just… blurry.
After the scene where Franz killed Crayton, everything was like a snuffed-out candle.
All she could feel was the unbearable pain in her chest.
She let her hand fall and murmured,
“You’re selfish.”
Franz accepted her accusation in silence, which only made the fire inside her flare.
“What’s your angle? How dare you shamelessly try to take me back as your fiancée?”
“I didn’t choose the point in time I returned to. When I woke up, the engagement was already arranged… I had no choice.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me you had regressed? Were you just watching me struggle? Was it fun to see me stumble around?”
“At first, I didn’t even know. I thought I was the only one who had returned. I wanted… to make you happy this time. I wanted to start over from the beginning. I…”
Franz clenched his fists on his lap, forcing out his confession like a man squeezing blood from stone.
“I thought… the heavens were giving me one more chance. A chance to make you happy without hurting you.”
“And do I look happy to you now?”
Pressed by her words, Franz shut his mouth tightly. Alesia glared coldly and kept questioning.
“How did you return in the first place?”
“…That…”
Franz opened his mouth but hesitated. For the first time, he didn’t have an answer.
He stared at her silently, then furrowed his brow, speaking gravely,
“You’re asking that… so you really don’t remember what happened right before the regression?”
“My memories are in pieces. They’re not complete.”
“I see…”
Franz’s face clouded with disappointment.
“There seems to be a clash between our memories.”
He stiffly reached out toward her face. She flinched and tried to push him away, but he offered a sad smile.
“I was just going to wipe the blood.”
She lowered her hand at his explanation.
With gentle fingers, he wiped the blood from the corner of her lips. She stared at him until his thumb withdrew.
When he pulled his hand away, she awkwardly cleared her throat.
“Why did I bleed? Is the mana not stabilizing?”
“It must be a side effect of the regression. You don’t need to worry.”
“I’m not worried.”
Her icy tone made Franz smile faintly.
His face, pale with illness, made Alesia’s chest tighten.
‘He’s paying the price for his sins. I don’t need to pity him.’
She tossed the handkerchief she was holding at him.
“Wipe yourself, too. You look terrible.”
“…Sorry.”
“Don’t say sorry. I don’t want to hear it.”
Franz lowered his gaze and wiped his mouth. Alesia looked at him with a troubled expression.
She didn’t know how much of him she could trust.
Their memories—hers and his—were too different.
She couldn’t forget the Franz who had looked at her with disgust,
who had spat cruel words at her in front of others,
who had walked past her arm-in-arm with Niris.
Those memories were vivid.
And now, she was being told that it had all been an act, a ploy to protect her from the First Prince because he had loved her?
She couldn’t accept that so easily.
If that were true, it meant she had lost her child because of some stupid act.
He hadn’t even known she was pregnant. That fact infuriated her the most.
‘I can’t forgive him.’
She stared coldly at Franz.
The things she’d lost because of his clumsy affection—no words could bring them back.
Nothing else mattered anymore.
The child. If not for the child, maybe—just maybe—she could have forgiven him.
Maybe she would’ve considered starting over, like he wanted.
But that wasn’t possible.
The river between them was too wide, too deep.
She couldn’t cross it.
Everything swept away by that current was gone forever.
Even with time reversed, the fact that she had lost her child wouldn’t change.
Nor would the fact that Franz’s indifference had caused it.
“…So, what do you plan to do about the First Prince?”
Her voice was dry.
She could still clearly see Crayton dying, pierced by a golden arrow.
She wanted to deal with him the same way in this life.
But she couldn’t just kill him without cause.
To harm royalty was a crime punishable by the extermination of three generations.
‘Now that I think about it, what happened to Franz after he killed Crayton in the previous life?’
She tilted her head. Her fragmented memories didn’t show Franz’s end clearly.
‘Did he escape by regressing with me?’
She let out a bitter laugh.
No clearer answer existed than the fact that he was standing here before her now.
Alesia slowly lifted her hand and gently cupped Franz’s cheek.
He flinched at her touch, his eyes trembling.
“Resa…”
“If you really mean your apology, help me take revenge on the First Prince.”
She smiled faintly as she looked into his shaken eyes.
He had used her in his selfish love—now she would use him.
But this wasn’t about giving up revenge on Franz.
It was about punishing the one who had killed her first.
“…How would you like to do it?”
“I want to kill him. In the most painful way possible.”
At her request, Franz’s eyes darkened. He fell into silence.
“If you won’t help, that’s fine. I’ll do it myself.”
When she tried to pull her hand away, he grabbed it. Pressing his cheek into her palm, he closed his eyes.
“I’ll do whatever you want.”
Because that’s why I came back to life.
Alesia looked at him, her heart heavy.
Her head ached.
The ugly truth she’d uncovered made her feel as if fury itself had seized her brain.
“That the First Prince would do something like this… I still can’t believe it. I never did anything to him. Why… Why go so far as to kill me?”
Her voice quivered with anger as it slipped between clenched teeth.
“What did I do wrong? What sin did I commit? Was loving you such an unforgivable crime?”
“You did nothing wrong. I was powerless and cowardly. That’s what was wrong.”
“A brother who drives his own sibling to the edge of a cliff…”
Alesia spoke with bitter resignation.
It was hard to believe that her misfortune had stemmed from Crayton.
He had always smiled kindly when they met.
The carefree, benevolent First Prince.
The darling of the people.
That was the Crayton she remembered.
And now, to hear that he had hidden such vile greed behind that warm smile—
That he had torn her life to shreds with that greed—
She clenched her fists at the thought of his friendly face. If he were here now, she’d want to claw at it.
Alesia exhaled long and slow.
“…Alright. I understand.”
Now wasn’t the time to be consumed by hot rage.
She had to cool her burning vengeance with cold reason.
And move, carefully, precisely.
“Do you have any clever plans?”
She asked gravely.
In her eyes, only revenge remained—etched in clarity.
Franz looked at her with a conflicted heart.
He couldn’t tell if he should be relieved that her gaze no longer held hatred toward him—or if he should mourn it.
Alesia saw his confusion but pretended not to notice, her eyes sharpening.
To her, love was lighter than vengeance.
Maybe this second life she had gained, this survival through a night worse than death,
was granted for the sake of revenge.
No—surely it was.
Franz closed his eyes tightly, opened them, and spoke.
“After returning, I worked to build the strength to protect you. Rather than let misfortune isolate you again, I wanted to make you as happy as possible. I didn’t want you to be my weakness—I wanted you to be my treasure.”
“Spare me the sugar-coated words.”
Alesia sneered. His desperation didn’t move her. This wasn’t the time for sentiment.
“What I want is your plan.”
“I have one.”
Franz replied with firm resolve.
“I’ll join forces with Linden and bring down Crayton. I’ll become crown prince and purge him.”
“That won’t be easy. Even with Duke Linden’s help, winning the succession fight is uncertain. There are too many variables.”
“Then why not do to Crayton what you came to do to me today?”
“…What was I trying to do?”
Alesia flinched and withdrew her hand from his face. Franz gave her a sad smile.
“You came to destroy my mana stone, didn’t you?”
