Chapter 5

“An unforgivable sin.”

Honestly, I was curious about what that meant.
But asking someone who looked so pained didn’t seem polite.
Still, I couldn’t just accept the situation without knowing the details.

“Can I think it over a bit more before giving you an answer?”

That was the conclusion I reached after a long moment of thought.

“Of course. It’s a sudden proposal, so it makes sense you’d need time. Just let me know when you’re ready.”

Lucian seemed eager for a quick yes, but this wasn’t a decision I could make lightly.

‘I need to talk with the guild and check how my teammates are doing.’

It didn’t take me too long to decide. After a bit of hesitation, I spoke up.

“And I think I should go back to the guild first. I need to check if my teammates are safe.”

“You’re still not fully recovered. It’d be better to rest a bit more before heading back.”

“It’s not that serious. And they’re probably looking for me.”

I didn’t expect Cream to be worried about me.

But Alex was different. He always treated me like an equal.
I was sure he was doing everything he could to find and help me.

“You don’t look like someone who’ll listen even if I try to stop you.”

Lucian raised an eyebrow, clearly not thrilled with my decision.
After tapping the armrest of the sofa with his fingers, he stood up.

“Then I’ll go with you.”

“Huh? That’s not necessary…”

“One of your teammates died in my mansion while dealing with the spirit. We need to talk about that. And I can’t just let someone who’s unwell travel alone.”

Fran… right, he died. My heart sank.
It wasn’t the first time I’d lost a teammate, but I hadn’t expected such a brutal death.

Honestly, we weren’t that close.
Fran was friendly with Cream and often ignored me.
Even so, losing someone I worked with still hit hard.

‘Yes… I need to get Fran back home as soon as possible.’

Given the situation, I had no choice but to accept Lucian’s offer to come along.

“Everything’s ready, Master.”

Lucian nodded at the green-haired man who appeared at the door.
I didn’t even have time to process that there were other people in the house.

“Let’s go.”

Lucian said to me.
I quickly stood up and followed him outside the mansion.

There, a large carriage that hadn’t been there before was waiting.

‘How did they get such a big carriage ready so quickly?’

As I looked around the carriage, a hand suddenly appeared in front of me.
Looking up, I saw it was Lucian’s. He was probably trying to help me since I was injured. He didn’t have to…

“Thank you.”

But refusing in front of him would have made things awkward.
I accepted his help and climbed up the tall carriage.

Lucian sat across from me once we were inside, and soon the carriage began to move.

“…”

“…”

The silence inside the carriage was awkward.
Should I say something? But what?

While I was thinking, Lucian suddenly spoke in a calm voice:

“Now that I think about it, I haven’t properly apologized to you.”

Apologize? I looked up, confused. He continued, his face clouded.

“You lost a teammate because of what happened at my mansion. And you had to go through something you shouldn’t have.”

“That’s not your fault, Duke. It’s all…”

…my fault. I was too weak to protect them.
Cream was right—I’m useless and couldn’t even protect my teammates.

Trying hard doesn’t magically make you stronger.

“Hey.”

I looked down, biting my lip so hard I couldn’t even speak—I felt like I might cry.

I knew he must be uncomfortable with my silence, and I tried to say something…

“Don’t make that face.”

“Huh?”

“You did your best as an exorcist. You even risked your life to protect others.”

No one had ever said that to me before.
No one had ever acknowledged me as an exorcist.

I was usually mocked—what could I do with such weak powers?

“You don’t have to comfort me. If you hadn’t helped, I wouldn’t have survived.”

“It’s not comfort. There are very few who would risk their lives to save others. You did your best. That makes you a fine exorcist.”

“….”

“You’re misunderstanding something. What matters for an exorcist isn’t amazing skill.”

I slowly looked up and saw his red eyes looking straight at me.

“Banishing spirits is just a method. The real purpose of an exorcist is not to turn away from people in pain. That’s why we were given special powers.”

“….”

“You risked your life to protect that child from the spirit. Not everyone can do that—especially not in a world like this, where most people only care about results.”

Maybe it was because no one had ever said things like this to me before.
Tears I had held back for so long began to roll down my cheeks.

“You’re a nationally recognized exorcist. So please, don’t put yourself down.”

My whole life, I had been rejected.

People told me I couldn’t save anyone. That I’d only be a burden.
They pointed fingers and looked down on me.

So hearing these words meant everything.
By the time the carriage stopped, I had finally calmed down.

“So this is the Eagle Guild?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“It’s quite a big place. I can see why Olive chose to send the request here.”

Lucian, one of the best exorcists, complimented our guild.
That alone made me feel oddly proud.

Maybe that’s why—

“Could you wait just a moment? I’ll go in and let them know you’ve arrived.”

“I can come with you.”

“I wanted to serve you some proper tea myself. I’ll be right back.”

Lucian paused for a moment, thinking, then nodded.

He really is a kind person. I’d felt that earlier, too.
Maybe that’s why being with him didn’t feel awkward anymore.

“Thank you for understanding!”

With that, I headed toward the back entrance of the guild.

It was actually more convenient—that way, I’d get to Alex’s room faster.

‘I hope Alex is okay.’

He’d escaped with Cream, but I didn’t see them get out of the mansion, so I was still worried.

But as soon as I opened the door, my worry turned to confusion.

I heard Cream’s voice, full of concern:

“Alex, what should we tell the others?”

“Don’t say anything until we finish the job.”

“What? You want to go back to that mansion?”

“I got a rough sense of the spirit’s power. This time, I can destroy it. We’ll tell the others afterward.”

But something felt strange.

That voice didn’t sound like the gentle Alex I knew.

Wait… is this really the same Alex?

“Alex, you saw it too! That spirit’s power! Two of our people died, and we barely escaped. We can’t handle this—we should cancel the request—”

“They died because they were weak! It’s only natural that weaklings die!”

Natural? That word sent chills down my spine.

No way… this couldn’t be the Alex I knew—kind, helpful, supportive…

“We never should’ve let weaklings into the guild. Same with Luna Steri. If I hadn’t believed she had hidden spiritual potential… damn it. I thought she’d awaken some other power, but she’s just dragging us down.”

It felt like everything I believed in shattered.

But at the same time, it all made sense.
I should’ve realized it sooner.

There’s no way they would’ve accepted a support-type exorcist like me without a reason.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I began to tremble.

And then…

“You’re a nationally recognized exorcist. So please, don’t put yourself down.”

Lucian’s words flashed through my mind.

Like I was in a trance, I wiped away my tears and walked into the room.

“Alex.”