IBTYDOTCID – Chapter 80

A little over a month had passed.

I left the window open every night. Worried that I might get bitten by mosquitoes, Hyangah filled the incense burner with enough bug-repellent incense to smoke out a beehive. Of course, she had no clue why I insisted on keeping the window wide open.

“My lady, are you going to train again…? It’s already late.”

“Yeah. Don’t wait up. Just go to bed.”

“What if you end up hurting yourself? You’ve been pushing too hard lately.”

Hyangah’s concern made me laugh a little. My body was already so wrecked it could hardly get worse. What difference would it make if it got a little more wrecked?

“I’m training so I won’t wreck my body worse. Don’t worry. I’ll be back.”

I gave Hyangah’s shoulder a light pat and stepped out of my room. Headed straight for the secret training spot. We’ve had this exact conversation almost every night for a month now, but damn if Hyangah isn’t persistent.

Outside of eating and sleeping, I spent every waking hour training. Thanks to that, the energy-depleted mess that was my body had been slowly—no, shockingly quickly—recovering.

But it still wasn’t enough for me. If anything, I was getting more anxious by the day.

Everything that had happened so far—especially Sahyeon’s death—was because I was too fucking weak. This life, I have to get stronger, faster. Strong enough that I wouldn’t lose anything ever again.

I’ll turn the grief, guilt, and the anger into fuel and burn it all as my fuel.

Most days passed in a blur of sweat and sword swings. Sometimes my mind felt hollow. Sometimes I’d find myself cursing the window that just sat there, wide open, unmoving.

But I kept going. Kept dragging myself through the same grind.

There were days that almost felt normal. Like nothing had happened. And then—out of nowhere—Sahyeon’s absence would crash down like a wave. Drowning me completely.

I never knew everything about Sahyeon, but I was the only one who’d seen the face under the mask. The one full of mischief. The soft smiles that showed up now and then—I was the only one who knew those, too.

Which meant I was the only one who could truly feel how empty it was without him.

“In this whole fucked-up world, maybe… just maybe I really was the only one you had.”

The words slipped out in a quiet murmur. I’d been talking to myself more lately.

I reached the secret spot and immediately drew my twin swords. Once I got back from the family trip, I’d have to prepare for the full-on annihilation of the Moyong Clan.

After wrapping up my pre-dawn training, I skipped breakfast with the family and headed out. I had plans. It felt a little weird—first time stepping out of the house in ages.

I walked slowly, glad I’d brought Hyangah with me. I barely took a few steps before arriving at the place. It was the house where Dang Iheon and Young Lady Dang were staying for the time being.

Since it wasn’t meant for a whole extended family, the place was modest and quiet. They had a few young servants helping with chores, but they all went home to sleep at night.

They didn’t live here like they might be gone tomorrow, like back when we were with the Moyong Clan. But they didn’t exactly seem like they were planning to stay forever, either.

The moment I knocked, a young male servant darted out and opened the door. The place was small enough that Dang Iheon and Young Lady Dang heard and came out to greet me themselves before the kid could even announce me.

“Yeonhwa.”

“Young Lady Yeonhwa, we’re so glad you came. I was excited since last night.”

Their bright smiles made me smile a little too. I figured this must be why the two of them decided to stay behind.

“You two always greet me like this. Makes me feel like some kind of honored guest.”

“You’ll always be an honored guest to me.”

Young Lady Dang smiled and took me by the arm, leading me inside. She added that I’d better eat and snack until I couldn’t move.

Over the past month, the three of us had gotten used to spending time together. They didn’t force any awkward comfort on me—they just kept up regular, boring conversation. Honestly, it annoyed the hell out of me at first… but at some point, it started to help.

They made me feel like I was still living. Still here.

“Young Lady Yeonhwa, have you ever tried Sichuan-style food?”

“I’ve had knockoff versions before, but I don’t know if that counts.”

“Perfect. I made a full Sichuan spread today. I thought you might like to try it with us.”

I used to eat spoiled leftovers as a kid—I wasn’t exactly picky. I’d heard Sichuan food could be spicy, but that wasn’t a problem for me. I liked heat.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“Still, if it’s too spicy, don’t force yourself to eat it, Yeonhwa.”

“Iheon, you really do have this bad habit of underestimating me.”

Do I really look like someone who can’t handle spice? Okay, sure, Moyong Yeonhwa grew up in Liaodong, so she probably wasn’t raised on fiery peppers… but still.

We sat down, and before long, the servants brought out the food. One dish in particular looked dramatic as hell, taking center stage with dark red chili oil practically oozing off the top.

“This one’s mouthwatering chicken. It’s served cold, so it’s perfect for summer. Even if it’s not quite as hot here as in Sichuan.”

“Try it with crushed peanuts. It’ll cut the heat a little.”

The two of them looked a bit nervous, watching me closely. I picked off a large piece of chicken from the middle and took a bite.

My tongue went numb instantly, but it had a deep, savory flavor that made it weirdly addictive.

“Is it okay?”

I nodded. Their faces lit up in unison. But then it hit. The real burn.

“Uh… yeah, it’s spicy, but…”

It felt like someone lit a fire under my tongue. I started sweating—like, all over. It was like every single pore decided to panic.

“Yeonhwa, are you okay? Want some water?”

“Cough—yeah, just… a little…”

Tears welled up. Then came the coughing. I felt like an idiot for acting so smug about it.

Iheon must’ve seen this coming, because he pushed a water cup at me immediately. Not that one glass of water was going to put out the damn inferno on my tongue.

“Ah—shit! I mean—not like a bad shit. Wait, no—it was shit, but just—because it’s spicy—ugh!”

Even I knew I was rambling like a lunatic, but the heat had scrambled my brain. In my last life, I could handle spice just fine. This frail-ass Moyong Yeonhwa must’ve been born with a fucking baby’s tongue.

After chugging several glasses, I finally started to feel normal again. I was already full of liquid before I’d even started the meal.

When I wiped my eyes and looked up, Young Lady Dang was crying too—but from laughing.

“Oh my god, you’re too cute, Young Lady Yeonhwa. Hahahaha.”

“Tears, snot—this mess is cute to you?”

“I’ve been thinking lately, if I could have a daughter like you, maybe marriage wouldn’t be so bad after all.”

Dang Choye burst out laughing again. I had no idea what she meant by that, but honestly, if she were someone’s mom, they’d probably grow up happy.

Even Iheon, who’d been steadily bringing me water, lowered his head and looked like he was about to laugh. At this point, all I could do was let out a baffled laugh myself. The whole scene was ridiculous.

They pushed the non-spicy dishes toward me. Turns out they’d prepared some just in case I couldn’t handle it. Smart.

Thanks to that, I managed to finish the rest of the meal in peace.

After the servants cleared the empty dishes and brought out tea and snacks, Young Lady Dang looked at me quietly for a moment before speaking up, gently.

“I heard there’s a lantern festival tonight. Would you like to go with us?”

“…lantern festival?”

My stomach was full. My mood, oddly calm. But the moment she said that, my heart dropped.

Someone else had once asked me to go to a lantern festival.

“There’s a lantern festival a month from now. Want to go? We could finally get that noodle soup we missed at the night market.”

Sahyeon’s voice echoed sharp and clear in my head. Right. It’s been a month already. When he asked me to go…

“A month is ages away. No one even knows what tomorrow holds. How the hell can you promise something a month from now?”

Those were my words. My own damn words. And now they stabbed like knives.

Maybe I should’ve said yes. Made the promise. Or… would that have made it worse?

I must’ve spaced out, caught in the memory. When I blinked back to awareness, both of them were staring at me. Neither said a word, but the worry was written all over their faces.

That look. I’ve been seeing it more and more. Like everyone’s silently asking if I’m ready to move on already.

“Well… I still need to train tonight. And I don’t really have anything to wear, so…”

The excuse was flimsy even to my own ears, but I tossed it out there anyway. Unsurprisingly, Young Lady Dang wasn’t buying it.

“One night of fun might be just what you need. You’ve been working so hard lately. I’ll lend you something to wear. No, actually—I’ll give it to you. I bought a few new dresses recently, but they’d look way better on you than on me.”

“She’s right. It’d be nice to get out, breathe a little. I want to see the lanterns too—but I’d rather go with you, Yeonhwa.”

Honestly, I didn’t want to go. I wasn’t sure I could go. I knew I wouldn’t be able to avoid thinking about Sahyeon if I went.

But the two of them were so damn eager… refusing outright would’ve just made things worse. And let’s be real—this whole festival thing was clearly for my sake.

“…Fine. I’ll give it a shot.”

I said it like I was being dragged to my execution, forcing a smile. Dang Choye clapped with excitement. Iheon didn’t say much, but the corners of his mouth turned up.

“Then let’s pick an outfit together!”

She shot up from her seat and grabbed my hand. I was honestly a little thrown by the sudden burst of energy.

“Right now? But it’s a lantern festival. I mean, it’s at night—”

“Exactly. We have to get ready now! Half the fun of an outing is in the lead-up, right? It’s all about the anticipation.”

Before I knew it, she was dragging me along. Instinctively, I glanced back at Iheon.

He just smiled and waved. No intention of helping me out here. Bastard.

I sighed and let myself get pulled away to choose clothes.

Turns out, Young Lady Dang had way more outfits than I expected—and she genuinely enjoyed watching me try each one on. I ended up sighing so much I lost count, but I figured if at least one person was happy, that was enough.

“Oh my gosh! That dress with the cinched waist looks amazing! You’re so gorgeous, I swear people won’t be able to take their eyes off you!”

“Oooh, and this one! That soft blue color could make most people look washed out, but your skin’s so clear and fair—it actually looks cool and fresh on you!”

If there’s such a thing as a prison made of compliments, this was it.

After a long debate, she finally picked the soft blue one. Said it was perfect for me—something only someone like Moyong Yeonhwa could pull off. She clearly still felt bad about leaving the others behind, though, so she selected a few more and handed them off to a servant.

“Take these to the Moyong Clan. Say I sent them.”

“I mean… there’s already so many, though.”

“So what? A few more won’t take up that much space. Just take them. Better for you to wear them than for me to let them sit here unworn.”

Truth is, Young Lady Dang wasn’t a frivolous type. I could guess why she’d bought so many outfits she had no plans to wear. She’d probably bought them for me from the start.

It felt too awkward to turn her down, so I just accepted them with a quiet “thanks.” Besides, I figured Hyangah would be thrilled.

Then, she suddenly beamed at me.

“Alright, let’s pick out accessories next!”

Right then and there, I seriously considered telling them I was heading home.

By the time the sun had nearly dipped below the horizon, colorful lanterns had begun to light up all around the streets. The sight was so bright and dazzling that I forgot I hadn’t even wanted to come. I just stood there for a while, quietly staring.

There were all sorts of shapes and sizes—delicate hanging lanterns, ones shaped like rabbits, and even a massive dragon lantern that looked like it was about to launch into the sky.

Every street was packed with people enjoying the festival. Merchants were hawking snacks and trinkets at every turn.

“Wow, it’s so beautiful. If I’d missed this and gone back to Sichuan, I would’ve seriously regretted it.”

“Right?”

The Dang siblings seemed genuinely impressed.

I’d thought the night market from before was beautiful too, but this festival? This was something else. Now I could see why Sahyeon had begged me to go with him.

“Shall we?”

Iheon looked at me and gave a soft smile. For a second, it felt like Sahyeon was the one looking at me. I knew it was rude to think that, especially after everything Iheon had done to support me… but I couldn’t help it.

I let them pull me into the crowd. It was so packed that I brushed shoulders with strangers constantly—but each time, Iheon subtly moved to shield me. Thanks to him, I was able to walk without too much discomfort.

So many people. So much light. Everything sparkled and shimmered like a dream.

“Look, they’re releasing wish lanterns over there. Let’s go.”

Young Lady Dang’s eyes sparkled as she turned to me.

Normally, I don’t do wishes. I’d even turned down Moyong Muhyeok when he told me to give it a try.

But right now, everything felt so surreal—like I was walking through a dream—so I nodded before I even realized it.

Dang Iheon quietly bought three lanterns. We each took a brush and wrote our wishes.

I turned my back to them for a moment and hesitated. Then I wrote: Peace and safety for the Moyong Clan.

And on another side, in small letters.

Sahyeon.

Just the one name.

As we lit the lanterns, they slowly filled with heat and rose into the air.

I let mine go, watching it drift upward.

Something stirred in my chest. Was it excitement? Sadness? I didn’t know.

I watched it float higher and higher, and—Someone grabbed my wrist.

Startled, I spun around.

My heart dropped.

“…It’s been a while.”

Sahyeon stood there, unmasked. Smiling like we’d just seen each other yesterday.

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