Chapter 8
I was able to escape satisfactorily, with the outcome going just as I had hoped. Feeling much lighter, I went to see the boy.
“How are you feeling?”
“…I’m okay. But I heard… that another maid died…”
The boy, leaning against the bed, looked around nervously. Did he sneak out somehow? The news spread faster than I expected.
This time, I couldn’t act as calm as before. I lowered my gaze slightly, adding a tremble to my voice.
“Yes… It looks like she took the wrong medicine.”
“Oh… Was she not able to get treatment?”
“She was already gone when I got to the room…”
As I expressed regret, the boy didn’t ask any more. It’s not like he could say she deserved it.
I didn’t even kill her, yet she died. He’s probably trying hard to figure it out. Anyone with half a brain would realize it wasn’t an accident.
‘Will he suspect Leticia?’
As long as it’s not me, I don’t care.
“Are you okay, maid?”
“…Huh?”
“You never know what could happen.”
But my assumption was completely off. The boy’s face crumpled as he fidgeted with both hands.
He was worried about me.
It was an act. I knew that, and yet I still reacted like a fool. My stiff expression only relaxed after some time.
“…Of course I’m fine.”
“But it’s still dangerous.”
The boy couldn’t sit still, clearly anxious. Why was he acting like this? I couldn’t understand what he wanted. Was he trying to gain my favor by pretending to worry?
But it felt too intense to be simple concern. It was almost instinctual, like he was genuinely terrified.
Unable to read him properly, I answered nonchalantly.
“I’m just a maid. It’s not like I’m in any real danger. This was just an accident.”
“No! I know it was that woman!”
His reaction was far from calm. The boy shouted, then quickly covered his mouth.
That woman—he must mean Leticia. When I looked at him intently, his eyes darted nervously, failing to avoid mine.
“……”
Was this really an act? Acting is meant to deceive, but even after three years, I still couldn’t tell.
The boy thought I was one of Leticia’s people. If that’s true, he shouldn’t be speaking of her so carelessly.
‘Is he testing me?’
I couldn’t tell if it was a lie or the truth. No—if anything, I was starting to lean toward the truth.
And so, once again, the urge to kill him was halted. I wanted to, but faint hesitation shackled me.
“…If I had been stronger, maybe I could’ve protected her.”
“You’re someone who deserves protection.”
“I’m sorry…”
Even now, the boy kept apologizing. He said sorry when there was nothing to be sorry about. When would that word finally disappear?
It was exhausting. Ever since that day, it had never stopped bothering me.
In the end, I had to leave before I revealed my true thoughts.
* * *
Things were awkward between us for a while because of that, but only briefly.
We were bound to run into each other anyway. By the time the boy had nearly recovered, we were back to our usual relationship.
‘Now they’ll know.’
News of his recovery would spread quickly. People had been waiting for his death. It would reach Leticia’s ears too.
And of course, my prediction came true.
“…I thought I made myself clear.”
Once again, I stood before Leticia. She tapped her fingers against the armrest, her lips curled in a smirk. She no longer wore the kind face she used to.
‘She’s pissed.’
This was why I never wanted to stand out. But locked in this wretched castle, I couldn’t escape or refuse. I’d just been dragged along like this.
I had no choice but to kneel as she wanted and lowered my hands to the floor.
“This is why commoners…”
Tsk. She clicked her tongue. I hunched my shoulders and bowed my head deeper.
“Come closer.”
A chill ran down my spine. Her tone was flat, but the menace was clear. Still, I couldn’t refuse. A maid has no right to say no.
Hiding my reluctance, I approached her. Her face filled my vision. The Duchess’s brow twitched.
“You couldn’t kill him and ended up saving him?”
I kept my mouth shut. Saying anything would only provoke her more. Apparently, even that annoyed her.
“Do you pity the boy?”
“……”
“There are always girls like you.”
When I looked up, her gaze pierced me like I was something pathetic.
“You forget your place and show foolish pity. As if that changes anything.”
She cupped my cheek with a sigh, her expression oddly serene, as if a lily had bloomed amid this tense moment.
“If you want to save him, don’t waste your time pitying. Rise so high that no one can ever lay a finger on him.”
Though she didn’t say it outright, her meaning was clear: stand at the top to protect him.
‘How would a maid ever do that?’
In this strict class society, a commoner could never reach the top.
‘Unless there’s some secret birthright or something.’
But Leticia seemed to have considered that too.
“If you’re not ready for that, it’s best to throw away your cheap sense of justice.”
That was advice. With a soft smile, she lightly tapped my cheek.
Then—
Smack—!
“This is your punishment.”
The loud crack spun my head. My vision flickered, and the echo of the slap rang in my ears. When I came to, my cheek burned hot like fire.
‘She really hit me hard.’
I held my throbbing cheek and bowed my head.
“You understand your mistake now, don’t you?”
“I’m sorry.”
I didn’t, but I knew what answer she wanted. Apparently, my submissive attitude satisfied her somewhat. Hiding her fury, she smiled and waved me away.
She wanted me gone.
And I had no intention of staying longer. Bowing as low as possible, I left.
‘At least it’s not bleeding.’
I headed straight to my room. It was swollen, but not serious. I cooled it with cold water. It should heal in a few days.
“Pity…”
Leticia’s words kept echoing in my head. It wasn’t because I felt guilty. I saved the boy to survive, after all. But it wasn’t like I felt nothing either.
‘It’s not some shallow emotion like pity.’
If only it were that simple.
If it were, then—
“Maid!”
It would’ve vanished like a bubble.
I opened the door without thinking. The voice that called me snapped me back to reality.
‘Ah, I’m injured.’
I hurried to hide my cheek behind my hair. But the boy had already seen. He stared at my cheek and flailed his arms. His bright yellow eyes reflected light, sparkling clearly.
Though they soon crumpled in worry.
‘What is this feeling?’
When I see you, my anger rises… but something else gets mixed in. It’s heavier than pity, but I can’t call it affection—I hate you too much for that.
That unknown emotion gnawed at me from the inside. I wanted to erase it, but I couldn’t. Every time I looked at you, it grew back as if it had never gone.
“Sit here!”
The boy tugged on my skirt as I stood dazed. I reflexively pulled back.
“It looks bad, but it’s nothing.”
“Just sit!”
Ignoring me completely, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into a chair.
Even if I get hurt, it doesn’t affect him. But every time, you react like this. Just like me—you can’t ignore someone in pain.
Once seated, we were at eye level. His eyes, unusually serious, studied my cheek.
“Did you look in a mirror?”
“It just looks like I fell.”
“Do you fall on your face?”
“My head is heavy—okay, I was hit.”
Excuses wouldn’t work. Faced with the boy’s intense gaze, I admitted it.
He brought a first aid kit and skillfully treated my cheek. A healing herb was gently applied to the swollen area.
“I could’ve done it myself…”
When I tried to stop him, his deer-like eyes narrowed.
‘That means I should shut up.’
I lowered my hand under the weight of his silent pressure. A long silence followed.
“It was her, wasn’t it?”
The silence only broke after the treatment ended. His tone was calm, but he already knew.
“…How did you know?”
“The ring mark… I saw it.”
Come to think of it, that ring was quite unique. I remembered the one Leticia always wore.
Most wedding rings are simple. But hers was ornate, decorated with small gemstones. Of course the mark would be noticeable.
“You’re sharp.”
“I’ve been hit… a lot…”
Though he hesitated, he answered honestly. He always tried to hide the abuse before.
But today, he looked like he had resolved himself. The boy took a deep breath and met my eyes. His steady gaze made me feel uneasy.
“Before… you said someone was putting me in danger, right?”
“…I did.”
“That person is my mother.”
Before I could leave, the boy revealed the truth.
It was strange. The boy I knew wouldn’t make such a choice. Confessing something like this to Leticia’s servant had no benefit.
And yet, he kept defying my expectations. He’d never done this before. I didn’t know why he had changed. Even amidst this confusion, he continued.
“…Why did you become a maid?”
“Probably… for money.”
Warnings of danger rang in my head.
“Can’t you quit?”
“Why?”
His words echoed in the air like a bell. And an ominous feeling crept up from beneath my feet.
