IOWYC Chapter 53

Chapter 53

That smile made me freeze on the spot.

Lloyd, seeing me like that, smiled innocently as if nothing had happened.

“If I had met you before Valdormer… do you think things would have been different between us?”

Ah… so that’s what he meant?

But then again, the way he looked at me earlier—it felt just like how he used to look at me in our past life…

“Yuliana, your food is getting cold.”

Lloyd’s gentle voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

Still doubtful, I glanced at him. But all he gave me was his usual warm smile.

“You’re not planning to waste the meal Marsha worked so hard on, are you?”

He sounded like he was trying to lighten the mood with a smile. 

Suspicious.

Just as I was about to ask again, Marsha entered the dining room.

“Sir Lloyd.”

Her tone was urgent, as if something had come up. Lloyd turned to me with a smile and stood up.

“Go ahead and finish eating.”

After Lloyd and Marsha left the dining room, I sat there for a while, just staring at the door they had exited through.

***

No matter how I looked at it, I couldn’t shake the feeling that Lloyd was hiding something.

On top of that, he kept staying close to me—just like when he was my husband in a past life.

He said he came to Hillston on business, but… What business? Was he even working on it in this mansion?

One thing was certain—whenever I showed signs of wanting to leave this place, Lloyd and the servants reacted strangely.

Just like today.

“Lloyd, I think I should go back.”

Ever since I dreamed about Denian, I made up my mind.

I was ready to walk into fire, knowing it was hell, just to see him again.

To turn back now, after giving up even my eleventh life with Lloyd—it would be like spitting on all my past lives.

But Lloyd’s expression slowly turned cold.

“What do you mean?”

His face looked calm as always, but I could tell.

He was clearly unhappy with what I’d said.

“I mean what I said. Thank you for accommodating me, but I really should return now.”

As I turned to leave, Lloyd suddenly grabbed my wrist.

I looked at him in surprise, and his frozen expression slowly softened.

“I understand what you want. But not today.”

He sounded gentle, like he was trying to soothe me. I looked at him curiously.

“Why not?”

“There’s a snowstorm coming for the next few days. If you try to go down the mountain in this weather, the carriage could flip.”

His tone was kind and calm, just like always, but I still didn’t trust it.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be careful.”

I gently tried to pull my wrist away, but he held it tightly and shook his head.

“How could I let a guest travel in a blizzard and not worry?”

He looked at me with a pleading, pitiful expression.

“Just wait until the storm passes. That’s all I ask.”

I couldn’t bring myself to say no when he looked at me like that.

But even so, something felt off.

He, of all people—the strongest ice user in the Silverstel family—saying I couldn’t leave because of a snowstorm?

Still, I couldn’t ask him to use his powers just to help me leave.

So in the end, I reluctantly nodded.

***

But even after several days, the snowstorm didn’t let up.

By now, it was becoming suspicious.

Every time I brought it up, Lloyd gave me the same excuse.

Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore and sneaked over to the stables.

I was hoping to bribe the coachman.

Most of the servants in Saint Paul, including the coachmen, were locals hired from Hillston—not directly tied to Silverstel. So I figured money might persuade them.

But when I arrived at the stable, I froze.

The carriages that were fine when I first arrived now had no wheels.

I couldn’t believe it.

Fixing carriages in this terrible weather?

Lloyd’s face flashed through my mind.

No way… did he have the wheels removed on purpose?

I shook my head.

Back when he was my husband, Lloyd could be intense, but he was also kind and considerate—he always cared about my well-being.

He wasn’t the kind of man who would do something so selfish, like secretly disabling the carriages to keep me here.

At least… that’s what I wanted to believe.

But my heart began to beat nervously.

I stepped into the stable.

If there were no carriages, I thought maybe I could ride a horse out.

But…

“They’re gone…”

There wasn’t a single horse in the stable.

My heartbeat quickened.

There was no way the stable would be completely empty unless it was ordered by Lloyd.

If he really did this just out of worry for me, it felt… excessive.

Without hesitation, I turned around and rushed out of the stable.

Back in my room, I grabbed only my coat and a few valuables and slipped out of the mansion while the servants weren’t watching.

I figured it was walkable. The servants often went to the village on foot from Saint Paul.

The real problem was the weather.

But I didn’t care—I just wanted to get away from Saint Paul.

Unfortunately, the snow that had fallen overnight had covered all paths leading to the village.

I didn’t even know if I was heading in the right direction. I just kept walking downhill, blindly.

After walking for what felt like forever and still seeing no signs of the village, I looked up at the sky in despair.

Just as Lloyd said, the blizzard raged on, as if it was trying to stop me.

Then, a single large snowflake landed on my face through the cutting wind.

And suddenly—like a vision—I remembered the fire at the Helloica Orphanage. I had seen snow like this then.

It made no sense for the two to be related, but the moment felt like déjà vu.

As I stood there, staring at the falling snow, frozen in place—

A familiar voice spoke.

“There you are.”

It was gentle and soft.

I turned my head slowly and saw Lloyd standing there.

Wearing the same calm, kind smile as always.

“I was worried about you.”

All I could do was stare blankly at him.

Lloyd stepped closer and gently draped his thick coat over me.

“It’s cold. You’ll catch a cold like this. Let’s go back.”

He didn’t ask me anything.

He smiled like I was just out for a little walk and he’d come to find me.

That made me uneasy.

I shrugged his hand off my shoulder.

It was the first time I’d treated him so coldly, and I could see the shock in his eyes.

I looked him straight in the eye and opened my mouth, my voice rough.

“Helloica Orphanage.”

Lloyd looked at me, puzzled.

But I didn’t miss the flicker in his gaze.

I pressed on firmly.

“Were you the one who helped me during the fire?”

“What are you talking about?”

Lloyd kept his smile and pretended not to understand.

“This snow—is this your doing too?”

I said with certainty, and he tried to smile again.

“Why are you saying such nonsense? Anyway, you’re cold, let’s go back—”

I stepped back and cut him off with a sharp voice.

“How did you find the orphanage? Back then, you didn’t even know me.”

“…”

He stayed silent now, unable to change the subject.

“You knew me. Even back then.”

When I said it with such assurance, Lloyd finally let out a long sigh and looked up at the snowy sky.

His breath puffed in white clouds around his lips.

Then he slowly lowered his head—and his blue eyes looked deeper and more intense than ever before.

“…Yes.”

It was the exact same gaze I remembered from the past.

No—maybe even more intense and focused than back then.

“How could I forget you?”

The moment I heard that, my heart dropped.

I didn’t want to believe it—but it was true.

Lloyd looked like he might cry as he smiled bitterly.

“My entire past… it’s all filled with you.”