Chapter 9
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“…Is that so? How strange. His Grace said you were sleeping soundly…”
“What? What do you mean by that?”
Startled, Elia forgot it was the middle of the night when everyone else was asleep and raised her voice.
“Late last night, His Grace came to visit your room, but said you were fast asleep, so he left. You must’ve woken because you were cold. I’ll put more wood on the fire.”
“A-Ah, that’s fine. I was just… No, never mind. I’ll head back in first.”
Elia quickly turned and hurried back to her room.
Could it be… was it him who moved me to the bed?
Her cheeks flushed pink. Maybe it was confusion, but her heart trembled faintly for some reason.
I didn’t… do anything strange while drunk, did I?
She had no idea what her drinking habits were like. Back at the Marquisate, she could barely eat decent meals, let alone drink often.
“Haa…”
She remembered nothing. Maybe she shouldn’t have drunk at all. Her sigh turned to white mist and hung in the air. Nothing was going the way she expected.
From that day on, for some reason, neither Felix nor Jeremy appeared. During every meal, Elia ate alone.
“This won’t do…”
Setting her fork down, Elia stood up.
“Yuri.”
“Yes, Madam?”
“Could you find out where Jeremy is right now?”
“Ah, would you like me to take you to the young master’s room?”
“He’d be in his room at this hour, right?”
“Of course. It’s only eight; lessons haven’t started yet.”
Yuri’s bright, sparkling eyes fixed on Elia.
“Th-Then… shall we go?”
Her sudden change in tone made Elia a little embarrassed.
“Yes, I’ll show you the way.”
On the way, Elia asked Yuri about Jeremy.
“The young master is much more mature than others his age. He does have sensitive spots, but I think it’s because he’s been hurt a lot.”
“Hurt?”
The moment she heard that word, Elia stopped in her tracks.
“I can’t say much more… It’s just that you seem to think very positively of the young master…”
Yuri’s expression darkened slightly as she said this.
Hurt… does she mean when the former Duchess died giving birth to Jeremy?
Her heart twisted painfully. Even after coming back to the past, she still knew nothing about the child.
I really didn’t know anything back then…
The memory of her pathetic former self weighed heavily on her.
While talking, they reached Jeremy’s room. Just then, a small figure appeared outside the door—Jeremy, who seemed to have just stepped out.
The moment Jeremy noticed Elia, his shoulders flinched. Before she could even call his name, he turned and bolted down the corridor like the wind.
“…Yuri, that was Jeremy, right?”
“Y-Yes. I think so?”
“Does he really hate me that much…?”
At Elia’s words, Yuri suddenly grabbed both her hands.
“That’s not true! He must just be shy! He was so happy talking about those sweets you gave him the other day, saying they were delicious—”
“Really?”
“Hahaha… It was supposed to be a secret, but misunderstandings aren’t good, so… Ah, but it was a secret…”
Yuri kept babbling with a guilty look on her face. Elia watched her for a moment, suppressing a smile, then gently placed her hands on Yuri’s shoulders.
“Calm down, Yuri. No one’s blaming you.”
“A-Ah, I got carried away…”
“It’s fine.”
Elia smiled softly and patted her.
There were sixteen years ahead of her.
First, I need to get closer to Jeremy, little by little.
She reassured herself that she could take her time over the coming years.
“Madam, shall we return to your room now?”
“Yes.”
The two walked back together.
It had been about a month since Elia returned to the past.
Outside the castle, a fierce snowstorm raged. The river beyond the walls was frozen solid.
The harshest winter in northern Artigen had arrived.
Even after that, whenever Elia and Jeremy crossed paths by chance, he would immediately run away.
Sometimes in the dining hall, sometimes in the indoor garden, sometimes in the library—every time, Jeremy bolted like a startled lizard shedding its tail.
It was kind of cute, but this had gone on for a full week. Neither Felix nor Jeremy gave her a chance to exchange even a word.
Felix says he’s busy, but Jeremy…
As she pondered this while walking down the corridor, a small figure caught her eye.
Short arms and legs, and curly pink hair—it was Jeremy. Without thinking, Elia slipped behind a corner to hide.
Was I always like this?
Back in the Marquisate, she had been deeply scarred, timid, and unable to approach anyone easily.
But I promised myself I’d change.
Strangely enough, this side of her felt almost amusing.
She had wasted sixteen years before, but she would never live with regret again.
At some point, Jeremy drew close, walking with heavy steps far too serious for a child.
“Hello, Jeremy.”
Elia stepped out and greeted him.
“W-Wah!”
Startled, Jeremy stumbled back and fell flat on his backside.
Panicked, Elia reached out to help him up, but her body wasn’t fully recovered. She lost her balance and fell with him.
As they fell, her wrist twisted painfully.
“Ow…”
Jeremy sat with his head down, his small body trembling.
“Jeremy, are you okay?”
Worried, Elia touched him gently, checking for injuries.
“Why do you keep doing this?!”
Jeremy shoved her hands away.
“…?”
His green eyes blazed as he glared at her.
“Hmph, I know what you’re thinking!”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t talk to me!”
His shoulders heaved even after he finished shouting, his small body taut with tension.
“Hm, so there’s a reason you’ve been avoiding me? Can you tell me?”
Elia looked at him with gentle concern.
“…No.”
“…So you don’t want to talk right now.”
“…”
“Then, Jeremy, could you tell me someday why? I’m very good at waiting.”
The back of his pale neck flushed pink.
“Hmph!”
Jeremy leapt up and brushed past her. Elia remained sitting on the cold floor, watching him walk away.
Could it be… he’s pushing me away because of the wounds left by his stepmother?
Suddenly, a memory surfaced—something Jeremy had said in the past.
“Father’s second wife was the worst.”
The boy’s voice echoed in her head.
She needed to find out what had really happened between Jeremy and the former duchess.
“…Why are you sitting out here on the freezing floor? Protesting something?”
A shadow fell over her as she was lost in thought.
It was Felix. He wore a white chiffon shirt and black trousers.
At the sight of the muscles faintly visible beneath his shirt, Elia suddenly felt a sense of déjà vu—hadn’t she seen something like this recently?
Why does this feel so familiar?
“First you get drunk and try to seduce me, and now you’re staging a protest?”
His lips curved slightly in displeasure.
At the word “drunk,” Elia tilted her head and thought back to that first night in the North.
“What? Did I do something that night…? Ah!”
But she still remembered nothing.
She tried to push herself up, but pain shot through her wrist—it had swollen without her realizing.
“Ha, unbelievable.”
“This isn’t what it looks like—”
She tried to rise again, but the heavy skirts of her dress made it impossible without using her hands.
Felix watched her for a moment before speaking in his usual blunt tone.
“Planning to stay there all day?”
She opened her mouth to retort—but before she could, her body suddenly lifted into the air.
“W-Wait, Your Grace!”
“Hah, weren’t you the one who called me Felix before…”
“What? What do you—”
“Forget it, if you didn’t hear.”
Muttering softly, Felix didn’t let her finish. He strode off with her in his arms, moving down the corridor in long, confident steps.
Elia could only stare in shock.
