Episode 37
There was no answer when the knock sounded, so Agnes carefully stepped into the drawing room—and was shocked to see Alicia with teary eyes.
“Your Majesty! What happened…?”
She quickly offered a handkerchief, and thankfully, Alicia wiped her tears before they could fall.
“It’s nothing. I was just reading Madam Emma’s journal and got emotional.”
Agnes understood. She already knew what kind of things were written in there, so she simply nodded.
“But Your Majesty, please don’t speak of the journal to anyone else.”
“Is it that sensitive?”
“Especially not to His Majesty the Emperor.”
Alicia nodded quietly.
“And even though the position was empty, it’s still dangerous for a maid to have written official records about the palace…”
“Yes, Emma told me. She asked me to pretend the journal doesn’t exist.”
Emma knew better than anyone how the palace worked. She had already warned Alicia to be careful.
“People can be hard to read, but Madam Emma seems kind.”
Agnes nodded slowly.
“She’s someone you can trust. She was loyal to the Empress Dowager above anyone else.”
Though the Empress Dowager had died young, Emma continued to protect the palace because of her loyalty to her son, Kaien.
“I’ve come to understand how important people like her are, especially after the Emperor’s maids died from illness.”
Even though the head maid was loyal, the fact that some of Kaien’s personal maids had been traitors was shocking. It showed how vulnerable Kaien still was as Emperor.
“Your Majesty, are you feeling okay? You don’t look well.”
“The more I read Emma’s journal, and the more I think about recent events… I can’t help but feel uneasy.”
If the Emperor didn’t have real power or authority, then Alicia—his Empress—was in even more danger.
“A year isn’t enough time to make real change. And it hasn’t been long since Your Majesty recovered from your illness.”
“That doesn’t matter. Some things are already decided.”
Alicia had become Empress not because of love or loyalty, but because of a secret deal between nobles and Lucan’s great sage.
She wasn’t a cherished royal, just a chess piece on their board.
“Forgive me, but it’s time to get ready for dinner.”
Agnes gave a hesitant smile.
She couldn’t force Alicia, but it was her duty to remind her, since the Emperor was expected for dinner.
“You’re right. Let’s get ready.”
Alicia couldn’t help but feel the strange contrast between her two lives.
In her past life, she was ignored and never even dared leave the Empress’s quarters.
Now, she had to be constantly present—for a very different reason.
That evening, Kaien arrived at the Empress’s palace right on time for dinner.
Alicia and the palace maids were already waiting.
“We greet Your Majesty, the Emperor.”
Kaien looked at Alicia with anticipation.
But unlike yesterday’s dazzling look, she now wore a plain cream dress and a thin necklace that seemed too simple for an Empress.
His face showed slight disappointment.
“Shall we go to the dining hall, Your Majesties?”
The chamberlain broke the awkward silence and led them to dinner.
Thankfully, Alicia had arranged for the starter to be served quickly, so the silence didn’t drag on too long.
“The Empress’s meals are always excellent.”
“I’m honored to hear that.”
They didn’t speak much after that. But as she watched Kaien eat with graceful manners, Alicia smiled inwardly.
His movements were refined and dignified—so different from the man she first met.
“Would Your Majesty like to have dessert in the small drawing room by the bedchamber?”
Alicia’s unexpected question made Kaien nod right away.
“A great idea.”
That small room had become their private space where they could talk alone.
Even during a small dinner like this, the presence of chamberlains and maids made everything feel formal.
“Please follow me, Your Majesty.”
When Alicia stood and gestured, Kaien also stood—but then suddenly turned and walked in the opposite direction from the bedchamber.
“Would you like to take a walk in the garden before dessert?”
Tonight’s breeze was cool but pleasant.
“Yes.”
Alicia followed behind him.
When Kaien stopped suddenly, she stopped too.
“No one else needs to follow. It’s just a walk.”
Even if Kaien had softened lately, his tone with others was still cold.
“Come on.”
He gently motioned for Alicia to walk beside him, and she felt a bit confused.
He could be so kind one moment and so distant the next.
It was hard to tell which was the real him.
“Yes.”
Alicia smiled softly and curtsied slightly, then walked beside him. Surprisingly, Kaien didn’t walk fast like he usually did.
It was clear he was trying to slow down to match her pace.
To others, it looked normal, but for Kaien, it was very considerate.
“There seemed to be more flowers here last time.”
“Winter is coming soon…”
“You must be disappointed.”
Kaien turned to look at her, and their eyes met.
“They’ll bloom again in spring, so it’s okay.”
Under the soft glow of the garden lights, Alicia’s face looked pure and calm.
Her simple dress and bare face suited the night garden perfectly.
“You speak in such a curious way.”
“…Pardon?”
Her eyes widened. Was he about to say she didn’t belong in this world? Her heart skipped.
“You say things kindly, but not in a flattering way. You’re usually quiet and careful, but… sometimes you’re not.”
Oh no—he hadn’t forgotten that day.
“I apologize.”
She quickly bowed, but Kaien just shook his head. He couldn’t help but smile.
“It was refreshing, so I’ll forgive you.”
“Thank you.”
“If I had been drinking tonight, you’d have gotten punished again.”
Kaien spoke casually with his hands behind his back.
Alicia looked away in embarrassment but stayed by his side.
“Um…”
She couldn’t delay it any longer.
Alicia finally spoke, and Kaien stopped walking.
Even though she wasn’t looking at him, she could feel his gaze—gentle, like the garden’s warm lights.
“Why haven’t you asked me yet?”
As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized she had said something weird.
She had planned what to say during dinner, but in the end, said something else.
“You mean—why haven’t I asked why you didn’t thank me for the journal and heirlooms from my mother?”
“…Yes.”
Thankfully, Kaien understood right away. Maybe he had been waiting for her to bring it up, too.
“Emma already told me. She said it was too important to be passed on by a maid.”
That wasn’t what Alicia expected, but she nodded anyway.
“Matters between husband and wife should be spoken about in private. I agree.”
Now Alicia understood why Kaien had suggested a night walk.
He hadn’t wanted to ask her directly. He’d waited for her to bring it up.
“So, what do you have to say to me?”
Kaien looked down at her with deep black eyes, like the night sky.
“Don’t say anything that deserves another punishment.”
He didn’t want apologies or formal gratitude.
That would’ve been no different from a servant’s message.
“I… was happy.”
Alicia didn’t want to hide her feelings. Besides, Kaien was sharp—he’d probably see through any lie anyway.
“I know how dearly Your Majesty loved your mother, the late Empress Dowager. So, I was happy you gave me something so precious.”
This time, she wasn’t afraid of being caught in a lie.
She just wanted to speak from the heart.
“Hearing that makes me think I made the right choice.”
Kaien smiled softly, and Alicia looked up at him without avoiding his gaze.
“But if you were happy… why didn’t you wear the heirlooms?”
Kaien didn’t usually care about jewels or treasures, but he had hoped to see Alicia wearing something his mother once loved.
“I haven’t even looked at them yet.”
That strange answer made Kaien raise an eyebrow.
“I’m not sure I deserve to.”
If anyone else had said that to Kaien, he might have gotten angry.
But hearing it from Alicia, it didn’t upset him.
“Then I’ll just think that’s your own way of treasuring them.”
“Your Majesty is very generous tonight.”
Alicia smiled with relief.
“I promise to keep them safe and treat them with care.”
“Will I ever get to see you wear them one day?”
She just smiled awkwardly at the difficult question.
“But the journal should be useful right away.”
“Pardon?”
“I know. You should’ve received it the moment you became Empress.”
Alicia froze. Her whole body tensed up—her face too.
“Why do you look like that? You read the journal, and now you’re scared of taking on the full role of Empress?”
Wait—was he seriously bringing up that topic in the middle of the garden, completely sober?
“…Huh? That’s odd.”
Kaien stepped closer, checking her face.
“Do you… drink when I’m not around?”
His voice didn’t register.
Alicia’s mind had stopped at the phrase: fulfilling the role of Empress—tonight.
