~Chapter 33~

After the Duchess (Madam Rosemarlin) left, the Emerald Room, said to have lost its owner, was as magnificent as befitting the name of Constantine.

One entire wall was painted with Constantine’s emblem—a lush green laurel tree.
Each individual leaf was made of emerald fragments, adding to its luxury.

When sunlight shone through, its brilliant green shimmered softly, revealing its splendor.

Earlier that dawn, when all of my belongings had been moved into the mansion, the sight of that laurel tree had been the most beautiful wall decoration I had ever seen.

The Emerald Laurel. Constantine.

But now that night had fallen, its beauty had vanished into the darkness.

I stared blankly at the laurel tree.
No—I was forcing myself to focus on it, because the moment my concentration wavered,
everything I was trying hard to forget came rushing back.

The see-through nightgown I was wearing, the silk robe draped over it,
the feel of the bed beneath me, and the soft slippers wrapped around my feet.

The red candle on the table and its languid flame.
The bottle of wine beside the clear glasses.

And the bed itself, framed by heavy crimson curtains.

“Hoo…”

My sighs kept slipping out from the tension.
This was the last hurdle to cross on the wedding day.

Throughout the entire wedding process,
I was haunted by shadows of the past.

Today, I wasn’t standing as two people—
Baldwin and me—but as three.
The ghost of my past stood with us.

But now… it was different.

I had never shared a night with Egbert—
not on the wedding night, not the night after,
not even until the very moment of our divorce.

So I had no idea.

I didn’t know how to welcome Baldwin,
what kind of expression I should wear,
or even what I should say.

On my first wedding day…

My mother had forced herself to attend, barely recovering enough to be there.
Just before the ceremony, she whispered to me:

“It’s only a passing moment.
The first time is the hardest, but after that, it gets easier.
Anais, never forget that our family’s future depends on you.
That is your duty as someone born into the Barnaby name.
Do you understand me?”

But none of those long words could help me now.

And I didn’t even know if I could truly become a woman to Baldwin.
During my entire first marriage, I had been thoroughly rejected.

Even though I had been someone’s wife,
I was treated as less than a stone kicked on the street.

Egbert’s contemptuous gaze still pierced through my heart like a nail.
It was the kind of wound I could never remove on my own, no matter how hard I tried.

In this area, I really was a pitiful failure.

“It’ll be fine… right?”

The tension in me was so intense,
it felt like my stomach was melting.

Then, the door—which had felt like it would never open—
finally clicked open.

Click.

The sound was deafeningly loud.

And then, my eyes met his.

“…Hiccup.”

A hiccup escaped from me involuntarily,
and I immediately covered my mouth.

It was the last sound that suited what was about to happen tonight.
My toes curled in embarrassment.

Baldwin was laughing silently.

“I was just startled… hiccup.”

He sat down across from me.
Even though he wasn’t touching me at all,
it felt as though his entire presence was pressed up against mine.
Despite having braced myself, even my breathing was shaky.

“I was startled, that’s all. Hiccup.”

Baldwin nodded slightly.
He reached for a glass and handed it to me.
When I accepted it, wine slowly filled the cup.

On the wedding night, it was tradition in Estus for the couple to share wine together.

In ancient times,
when gods and fairies still roamed the continent,
it was said that couples would prick their fingers and share their blood in the cup as they wed.

That custom had since changed—
the red blood replaced by red wine.

I hadn’t even shared wine like this with Egbert.

The rich scent of the finest wine was so strong it pricked at my nose.
The sweet yet tart taste clung to my lips, making me shiver.

I took a deep breath and held the wine in my mouth,
forcing myself not to glance at Baldwin.

It would’ve been easier not to look.

But the wineglass would eventually empty,
and that moment came far too quickly.

I exhaled slowly and set the empty glass down.
My hiccups had long since stopped.

“Your Grace.”

I didn’t even know what I wanted to say—
I just called out to him without reason.

Baldwin moved his elegant hand.

[Are you still calling me Your Grace?]

I looked up from the notebook.
Baldwin was smiling faintly.

This time, he moved his lips silently.

“Baldwin.”

As if telling me to repeat it,
he tapped his lips gently with his finger.

“…Bal…dwin.”

Baldwin nodded approvingly,
as if to say I’d done well.

Right now, I knew better than anyone what I was supposed to do.

This was my second marriage, after all.

When I’d married the Marquis of Graham,
I had been taught all the customs of a Marquis’s household.
It was nothing like studying at the academy.

I remembered learning from a baroness my grandfather had introduced to me—
even the intimate matters of the wedding night.

I didn’t know why those memories were surfacing now.

My mind was burning,
like the scorching sands of a summer beach.
The moment I stepped forward,
I would be burned.

“Anna.”

Baldwin’s violet eyes seemed to ask for permission
to call me by my nickname.

“Anna.”

I followed him,
my voice breaking as I spoke my own name.

But even though it was my voice,
it felt as though Baldwin was the one calling me.

In his slender, violet eyes,
I saw something I had never seen before.

His hair was damp, and his gaze, as it settled on me,
was deep and heavy.

His lips, reddened like a blooming flower, glistened faintly from the wine.

Baldwin might truly be a demon—
the kind that could easily enchant people.

My heart thumped wildly.

A wave of tension surged through me like a tidal wave,
the kind of tension one feels when facing the unknown for the very first time.
I was completely trapped, like prey caught in a spider’s web.

His silent smile pressed down on me,
making it hard to breathe.

As I clenched my hands from the nervousness,
I could feel the thin silk robe crumpling beneath my grip.

Baldwin stood and reached his hand out to me.
I let out a deep breath and took it.

We were husband and wife now.

We had promised, by mutual agreement,
to fulfill the duties expected of a married couple.
So this was simply a ritual I had to get used to.

Think rationally, Anais.
It’s nothing.

I tried to reduce it to biology in my head—
to think of it like animal instinct,
like something I’d learned about at the academy.

It’s just the biological act of reproduction…

Chuup.

The moment our lips touched,
the sound of him lightly sucking on my lower lip
stole the air right out of my lungs.

It was a sound that snapped me back to reality,
a sound so indecent that my heart plummeted.

There was no doubt—Baldwin’s violet eyes held magic.

“God… I’m going crazy,”

I muttered without realizing it.
Baldwin seemed to read my lips and smiled.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered:

“Do it… more.”

Part of me felt like I might burst into tears.

With Egbert, I had lived in a marriage devoid of reason.

People always told me to endure.
That I should accept his betrayal
because I had more than I deserved.

That when he turned away from me,
it was my fault.

Every time I saw Sophia’s flushed face after sleeping with him,
the floor beneath me would collapse.

“He doesn’t see you as a woman.
Of course not.
What man would love a wife as stiff as a statue?”

It was easy to break Sophia.
Her fragile pride was rooted in inferiority.

She was desperate to trample me,
so I crushed her instead—
and turned away.

But I cried too.

My pride as a woman was completely shattered.

I remembered the countless nights
I was rejected by the man I loved.

Not because he cherished me,
not because he loved me,
not because I was precious to him…

All the sweet words Egbert used to spew
were nothing but lies.

“You’re disgusting, Anna.
Everyone knows you slept with your grandfather.
They all know what you two did alone together
in the bank’s office.”

“I hate women chosen by your grandfather.
I can’t even stand the sound of you breathing!”

When Egbert’s true nature was revealed,
he denied my entire existence.

Nothing had hurt me more than his insults.

But Baldwin—
with just one kiss,
he blew away all those negative feelings.

He truly saved me.

He was my sorcerer.
My god.

I pressed my cheek against Baldwin’s neck.

“Hold me tighter.
Kiss me more, Baldwin.”

At last, tears spilled down my cheeks.

“Ruin me.
Make me fall apart.”

Baldwin kissed me again.

He claimed me.
He devoured my soul,
as if he wanted to possess every part of me.

He was the only ruler I had ever allowed.

The nail that had been firmly lodged in my heart
finally melted away and disappeared.

I was someone worthy of being loved.

I collapsed in his arms the entire night.

The ghosts of my past fled,
and that night belonged only to Baldwin and me.