Chapter 3
Wow, that was seriously close.
Dad, seeing me standing in a suspicious pose in front of the front door, adjusted his glasses and asked,
“Eve? Who was that just now?”
“Huh? Oh, just a… not a Hero or anything. Just a peddler, a peddler.”
“A peddler? What kind of peddler comes all the way out here, seriously…”
“Right? I mean, the townspeople have way more money than we do, don’t they?”
Sweating nervously, I stood firmly in front of the door to keep Dad from opening it.
Fortunately, Dad, who cared more about weapons than anything else, didn’t seem interested in the tightly closed door, the women’s slippers at the entrance, or the peddler who had just left.
‘Whew, thank goodness Dad’s a weapon maniac.’
It turns out having a father who’s shockingly uninterested in anything besides weapons and me can be pretty helpful!
Leaving Dad to busy himself with dinner prep, I quietly put the women’s shoes back in the shoe cabinet.
***
Alright, time to go ruin Dad’s business again.
Without knowing that his darling daughter was off to sabotage his shop, Dad happily saw me off, thinking I was just heading out for a good time.
“Have fun, sweetheart~. Watch out for bad people.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“And don’t go hitting anyone just because you’re annoyed, okay?”
“Yes, yes, I know.”
Ugh, Dad acts like I’m some kind of gangster.
I’m just a small, cute nuisance of a shop clerk who happens to mess up her dad’s business.
“Okay, I’m really going now!”
Just then, Dad noticed something suspicious in my bundle and yanked me back by the scruff of my neck.
“Waaah—!”
“Wait a second, sweetheart. Why are you taking this with you to go play?”
He pulled out my Excalibur with a puzzled expression.
No! My Excalibur!
Flailing my short little arms and legs, I jumped to snatch the sword back from him.
“Hey! Why? It’s mine! Mine!”
“Why do you need this to go hang out?”
“Um… because… I need to punish bad guys if I run into them!”
I quickly came up with the most reasonable-sounding excuse I could.
Would he buy it?
Dad looked at me and the Excalibur suspiciously, then handed it back with a meaningful look.
“Alright, sweetheart. Be safe, and Daddy wants a kiss.”
Smooch!
I gave Dad a quick kiss on the cheek. Grinning like a fool, he patted my back.
“Don’t go too far!”
“Okay, okay—!”
With that, I left the house armed with Excalibur and a hefty stick of cheese, ready to ruin Dad’s business once again.
Sorry, Dad, but it’s thanks to all the behind-the-scenes work I’ve been doing that you’re still alive.
Telling myself “it’s all for the best,” I buried the tiny pricks of guilt deep down.
After walking for about ten minutes…
Just as I was passing the forest path near the tavern—
Someone roughly grabbed my shoulder and spun me around.
“Waaah—!”
“Hey, kid.”
What the heck? Who is this?
Instinctively clutching my Excalibur tight, I looked up to see the man who had grabbed me.
‘…Wait! This guy is—’
Someone I don’t know.
Who the heck grabs a kid like that?! Only my dad’s allowed to do that!
I glared at the man with defiance.
Since he called me “kid,” I wondered if he was one of the Heroes who visited our house earlier, but nope.
Just a drunk.
‘Ugh, the smell of alcohol!’
As he leaned his dirty face close, the stench hit me hard.
I scrunched my nose in disgust.
Ugh, what even is this day?
I should’ve taken the longer route.
Dad did warn me not to use this path because of the taverns nearby.
Should’ve listened.
As I struggled to break free from his grip, I shouted,
“Let go! I said let go! If you don’t, I’m gonna scream!”
“Hey, kid. We don’t have money for more drinks, so let me borrow this for a day, yeah? Hehehe.”
Rather than letting go, the drunk man greedily reached for my Excalibur.
No way!
Sure, I always roll around the market shouting that Excalibur is a useless, crappy sword—
But it’s the one Dad made just for me!
I clung to the sword with all my strength, not about to let some stranger steal it.
“You little… Let go! Give it here!”
“You let go! I said it’s mine—!”
Dangling off the scabbard, I screamed in protest.
But against a grown man’s strength, I didn’t stand a chance. I could feel my grip weakening.
‘I can’t let him take it!’
Just the thought of losing my precious Excalibur made me break into a cold sweat.
Dad made that sword just for me…
“It’s my precious sword—!!”
In desperation, I ducked and headbutted the man right between the legs with all my might.
“AAAGHH—!!”
His scream echoed through the dense forest.
Clutching his groin, he collapsed and trembled pathetically.
‘Hmph, serves you right for not letting go earlier.’
I quickly grabbed Excalibur and tried to get away—
“AAAH—!”
—Only to get grabbed by the neck again by the same stranger.
“You think I’ll go easy on you just because you’re a kid…?”
“Let go of me—!!”
Seriously, today is not my day.
Struggling even harder, I clutched Excalibur to my chest.
The man, still holding his crotch, staggered toward me with rage in his eyes.
“When an adult says hand it over, you hand it over—!”
He grunted and swung, smacking my head hard.
Everything went white for a second.
Blinking in confusion, I stood frozen.
‘Did I… just get hit?’
Even Dad’s never hit me before—and now some random drunk did?
The injustice made tears well up in my eyes. Why should I get hit by this guy?
Just as I was about to cry—
Flash—!
Excalibur started glowing in every color imaginable.
“W-What the heck is this?!”
“Dude! If it glows, it must be an expensive sword!”
Well… I mean, it is an expensive sword, but it’s not supposed to glow?
Why the heck is it glowing?
And then—
BOOM—!!
A loud explosion burst from Excalibur, flinging the men around it into the air.
“Aaargh—!!”
“Gyaaa—!!”
Amid the chaos, I was the only one left unharmed.
Covered in dirt, I stared blankly at my sword, which now looked like it was part of a fireworks show.
‘…That really doesn’t look safe to touch.’
Wait—since when did my sword do that?
The men, scattered from the blast, still hadn’t learned their lesson.
“Hey! Go get it! That sword must be worth a fortune!”
Uhh… maybe your lives are worth more than a sword?
Even I’m too scared to go near it now…
Clicking my tongue, I watched the idiots run at the exploding sword like moths to a flame.
Then suddenly—
Whoosh—!
Excalibur flew straight into my hand.
‘…Huh?’
I stared down at it, completely stunned.
