IAMFMFL CH 02

Remembering my past life did not change who I was.

I was still Katrina Ezelot. I still hated the paprika placed on my plate, and I was still afraid of falling asleep alone late at night.

During etiquette lessons, the ends of my books still ended up covered in doodles, and on such days, both my tutor’s attitude and the maid who entered my room to assist with my bath remained the same—as though they were handling a wild lynx.

If anything had changed, it was that my behavior, which had been nothing but childish, had become somewhat more mature.

Had my character finally improved? Even when I looked at the maid standing stiffly beside the sofa, I no longer felt the urge to lash out, nor did my tongue itch with the desire to snap at her.

It was a change that made me keenly realize just how recklessly I had lived before, like an unbridled colt.

Just because I had become more well-behaved, life in the count’s estate grew remarkably peaceful.

The servants’ expressions improved as well. The atmosphere around my room, once described as walking through a field of thorns, was now often compared to the refined scent of magnolias.

However, not everyone in the mansion reacted that way. In particular, my brothers—who lived under the same roof as if we were strangers—became four times noisier than usual, as though they had finally found something to latch onto.

“Kate, did you finally eat something wrong?”

“Rick, watch your words in front of Mother.”

At Eden’s sharp remark, the annoying Rick Ezelot snapped his mouth shut.

Serves you right. You’ve been teasing me since yesterday. Sneaking a glance past Eden, I stuck out my tongue. Rick, who had been chewing his salad as if it were meat, widened his eyes at me.

What are you going to do if you glare like that? I stuck out my tongue again.

“Kate.”

Eden, who seemed to have eyes on the back of his head, scolded me in a stern voice. Perhaps due to the responsibility of being the eldest, he always became stricter whenever Father was away.

If this had been me two days ago, I would have shouted during the meal, “Why are you always ordering me around? You’re not Father!”

But now I was the newly reborn Katrina. There was no need to keep acting like a brainless girl who saw nothing around her.

With that in mind, I gave Eden a gentle smile befitting a young lady of a distinguished count’s family.

“Sorry, Brother. Rick kept teasing me. I’ll just eat quietly from now on.”

As soon as I finished speaking, I neatly cut into my veal steak and brought it to my mouth. Perhaps it was just my imagination, but when our eyes briefly met, Eden’s expression looked just as displeased as Rick’s before he spoke.

For several minutes, only the sound of utensils clinking filled the air.

Just as I continued eating with flawless etiquette that would put even my tutor to shame, a small sigh came from directly across from me. I didn’t even need to look up to know who it was.

It was my second brother, Lockhard Ezelot.

“Hey, brat. What kind of change of heart is this? Because of you, my throat feels clogged, and I can’t even swallow my food. Did Nezar say he’d break off the engagement if you didn’t start acting like a proper person?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I wanted to ask.”

As soon as Lockhard spoke, Rick eagerly chimed in.

“You have no idea how painful it is to watch you walking gracefully down the hallway. Did you fall off your bed and hit your head the day Nezar came? Because of you, I spent all night wondering what I did wrong.”

Listening to their long-winded complaints, I calmly wiped my mouth with the napkin on my lap.

“What did I do wrong for all of you to act like this? Would you feel better if I stabbed the back of your hand with a fork like before and told you to be quiet?”

“So you do realize you’re different. I thought a doppelgänger that looked exactly like you had sneaked in and was pretending to be Katrina Ezelot.”

This is why a person’s usual image is so important. Just because I wasn’t shouting during meals and was quietly using a knife and fork, I had to hear the same thing over and over for two whole days.

Feeling stifled, I gulped down the water on the table.

“Yeah, that’s our Kate. You have to drink like a beast.”

I glared at Rick, who nodded in satisfaction just because I drank water freely.

“Are you trying to get on my nerves? Should I spit it all over your face like a beast?”

Instead of arguing back, Rick simply smiled in relief. It looked like if I said one more harsh word, he would reach across the table and pat my head.

“I told you not to smile in front of me while I’m eating. Just seeing your smiling face makes me sick.”

“Good. That’s it, Kate. That’s the real you! Before Father faints, you’d better stop pretending to be a proper lady.”

To calm my boiling anger, I took another gulp of water.

It had only been two days since I decided to become a better person. Out of pride, I didn’t want to revert back so quickly.

Naturally, there was a clear difference between servants being flustered by my kindness and my blood-related enemies provoking me right in front of me.

The former made me feel satisfied. The latter made my blood boil for no reason.

How could Rick make people angry just by opening his mouth? Even with my past-life memories, my patience toward my siblings still seemed to be at rock bottom.

“Enough.”

At that moment, Mother, who had been quietly listening, set down her fork.

“Rick. And Lockhard.”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

Rick answered in a subdued voice while watching her carefully. Unlike him, Lockhard’s lips twitched as he struggled to hold back his laughter.

“Whatever the reason, if Kate has decided—however late—to become a proper lady, then as her brothers, you should support her. Yet to my eyes, you are doing nothing but mocking and teasing her. Am I wrong?”

“No, you’re not.”

“‘You’re not’? Then you mean I’m right?”

I could hear Rick swallow nervously. Serves him right. I pretended to clear my throat and covered my rising smile with my napkin.

“N-no, you’re not.”

“For the time being, neither of you is to go near Kate. Especially you, Rick! If you keep provoking her, you will answer to me.”

After speaking firmly, Mother turned to me and smiled gently—with a kind expression I had never seen in all fifteen years of my life.

“So, Kate, don’t worry and focus on your etiquette. I’ve already informed your tutor to increase your lessons by three hours each week. If you do well on your exams this time, I will buy you anything you want.”

At her words, I cheered inwardly. The extra three hours of lessons were painful to think about, but the promise of getting anything I wanted made me feel like I was floating.

But that joy lasted only a moment. I soon realized that what I needed wasn’t something Mother could give me.

Lavish lace dresses that dragged along the floor or necklaces with jewels as big as frog eyes already filled my room.

In the past, the heavier my accessories were, the prouder I felt. But now, perhaps because I remembered my past life, I could view myself more objectively.

It was rather sad to admit… but what I wanted was something I couldn’t receive as a gift from Mother.

“Daisy, why don’t I have any friends?”

“…Pardon?”

After lunch, Daisy—the maid setting tea at the garden table—widened her eyes in shock. My question must have startled her greatly; even her hands trembled.

“You’ve been around me long enough. You know why I don’t have any friends, right?”

“Well…”

Daisy lowered her head.

“That is… um…”

“Haah, Daisy. It’s fine. Just say it honestly. It’s because I’m unpleasant, so I don’t have any friends.”

At my self-deprecating tone, Daisy stopped holding the teapot and grabbed my shoulders with teary eyes.

She was the only one who had stayed by my side even when I acted like a complete brat. She probably couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud.

Yes, I had no friends.

It was unfortunate, but true. At tea parties, while other young ladies gathered together and laughed, I would sit alone beside Mother, picking apart my cake bit by bit.

Still, I had rarely felt lonely.

At the estate, I was busy fighting with my brothers, and outside, I was busy trailing after Nezar.

But as I mentioned before, things were different now.

After remembering my past life and being reborn as the new Katrina, I now had a life-defining goal: to find a woman for Nezar to fall in love with.

To achieve that goal, I had to stop roughhousing with my brothers and stop following Nezar around.

All of this was for the sake of my peaceful and comfortable old age.

“Daisy, how do you make friends?”

“Well… first, you need to be able to have a conversation. That way, you’ll have opportunities to become close.”

“So before, I couldn’t even hold a conversation?”

“Um… until two days ago, Miss Kate was… closer to a beast than a person. B-but if you keep acting the way you are now, I’m sure you’ll be able to make friends!”

Damn it. Even if it hurt, Daisy was right.

If I wanted to charm a young lady worthy of capturing Nezar’s heart, I had to become a refined and graceful lady starting now.

A soft woman like whipped cream cake—one who drinks tea with her pinky raised, covers her mouth when she laughs, and smiles sweetly every time she speaks!

“What scheme are you plotting now, grinning to yourself like that?”

At that moment, Rick’s voice suddenly rang out.

I quietly closed the book I was reading and lifted my head. I had been enjoying tea at the garden table like any proper lady, but Rick—bold enough to ignore Mother’s warning—had come to find me anyway.

“Are you really okay? Why do you keep acting so strange? You can barely even read your etiquette textbooks.”

Unlike before, Rick looked quite serious. His lack of a smile was enough to freeze the insults forming on my lips.

I placed the book in my hands onto the table.

“It’s nothing. I’m just trying to behave a little more calmly for the future.”

“Don’t talk nonsense. Is fixing your personality a condition for getting engaged to His Highness Nezar?”

Not a condition for the engagement—but a condition to break it.

I shook my head, but Rick didn’t seem convinced.

“Kate… do you really like the Crown Prince that much?”

“It’s not because of Nezar. Maybe I’m just going through a late adolescence. Why are you so sensitive about it?”

I couldn’t exactly say, “It’s because I remembered my past life.” Who would treat me as normal if I said that?

Despite Rick’s suspicious gaze, I lifted my chin without backing down. After staring at me for a moment, he let out a loud sigh.

“Fine. I’ll stop bothering you, so relax those eyes. …But if something’s wrong, don’t keep it to yourself. Tell me or Lockhard. And don’t go around breaking perfectly good things again.”

Rick reached out and patted my head, then soon turned and disappeared into the garden. With his long strides, his presence quickly faded beyond the garden filled with the scent of margarets.

Why is he suddenly acting like this? I brushed the top of my head where his warmth lingered. He’s only two years older than me—why treat me like a child?

As I reopened my book and lifted my teacup, the maid who had been standing at a distance approached me. Judging by her bright expression, like morning sunlight, it seemed she had good news.

“My lady! His Highness Nezar has come to visit.”

I shouldn’t have gotten ahead of myself.

I rose stiffly, like a machine.

Thinking that Nezar would be waiting for me in the drawing room made my heart pound loudly.

Calm down, Kate. You’re different now. There’s no reason to quietly endure his teasing anymore.

But despite my firm resolve, my legs—completely lacking any sense—hesitated as they moved forward.