Episode 2
Because she had already lived as Alicia for more than ten years, life in the palace felt familiar.
But even though she was back in her twenties, nothing had changed for the better.
“Is there no way to escape this?”
The Emperor of the Empire, Kaien Darius, was a man who seemed to love no one.
No—he seemed to hate everything in the palace, including his own Empress, Alicia.
“Your Majesty? What did you just say?”
Aness, bringing a tray of warm tea, looked surprised.
“Nothing.”
The first time Alicia had woken up in this world, nothing had made sense.
People whispered that the young Empress had gone mad from fever.
She thought death would free her from it all, but instead she woke up again—back in the body of twenty‑year‑old Alicia.
It was ridiculous.
But this time was different.
She wasn’t some stranger suddenly dropped into a strange world—she had lived here for years, and only her time had been turned back.
“Your Majesty… there are many letters from Lucan.”
“Put them in the box.”
“…Yes, Your Majesty.”
Aness obeyed, placing the letters into a wooden box in the corner.
The letters had piled up ever since Alicia’s fever. Some at the bottom were already dusty.
“Lucan is the most knowledgeable place in the land. I’m sure they know I’ve been sick.”
“Of course… but…”
Alicia’s cold blue eyes stayed fixed on the box.
Each unopened letter was proof she was failing her “duties.”
—Of all people, it had to be you.
She could still remember the Great Sage of Lucan looking at her with disappointment.
—But you are still a child of Lucan. You must carry out your duty. Deliver our words to the Emperor and stop the war.
That is why you were born.
Lucan was a closed land ruled by the Great Sage, where people gave up everything to pursue truth.
Daughters of Lucan were married off to powerful men, tasked with delivering the Sage’s teachings.
They believed only they were closest to the truth.
“If Lucan asks, tell them this: after the fever, I’ve been having memory problems. Tell them I can’t even understand Lucan’s teachings anymore.”
Aness’s eyes widened, but she quickly nodded.
She had raised Alicia since birth—she understood her thoughts without needing more words.
“The Emperor always returns in spring to honor his mother. Until then, we have time.”
Spring was still far away.
He only ever came for the memorial and left immediately afterward.
“By then, Your Majesty will be well.”
“…No. I won’t.”
“Just tell Lucan the same thing I told you.”
Aness hesitated but said nothing.
The position of Empress was already unstable.
“His Majesty is a cold man.”
Kaien came from a long line of warriors, but he lacked the qualities of an Emperor.
Still, marrying a daughter of Lucan was one condition to take the throne.
It was a humiliating deal—he became Emperor, but in return he had to live with Lucan’s influence by his side.
“Neither Lucan nor the Emperor care about me.”
For ten years, Alicia had lived this life.
It had been empty and lonely—nothing, not hecarstle nor Lucan’s name, had saved her from dying alone.
“The Emperor always hated Lucan.”
The younger Alicia never understood that.
She tried so hard to fulfill her duty, not realizing it only made him despise her more.
—Even a parrot in the palace would do better. At least it wouldn’t annoy me every time it opened its beak.
The few memories she had of meeting Kaien were painfully clear.
His cold black eyes still haunted her.
“What if His Majesty worries about you?”
Alicia gave a short, bitter laugh.
“That will never happen.”
Her blue eyes looked off into nothing.
Kaien had never seen her as his wife. Not even when she was dying.
“Besides, he only ever comes in spring for the memorial.”
“But we sent him a letter about your illness…”
“Did he reply? When did we send it?”
Aness fell silent.
There had been no reply.
Kaien knew a high fever could kill, yet he hadn’t sent a word.
“Enough. I’m going to bed. I have a lot to think about.”
She couldn’t live through another ten years like before.
Back then, she hadn’t known anything.
But now, after dying once, she couldn’t stop thinking about escaping this life.
“His Majesty must be busy at the battlefield.
Aness tried to comfort her, but Alicia knew the problem went much deeper.
“Do you think Lucan cares about my sickness?”
She didn’t even need to read their letters.
To them, Alicia was just a tool to deliver their words and influence the Emperor.
“Aness, I want to find meaning in my life.”
Her young face was calm but firm.
“And only you and I can make that happen.”
“…Of course, Your Majesty.”
Aness’s warm reply made Alicia smile faintly.
“Let’s clean up my room first.”
But as Alicia started to nod, a sound came from outside—a sound that should never be heard at this hour.
“…”
Both women froze.
“No… it can’t be.”
Alicia’s lips trembled.
She hoped it was just her imagination, but Aness’s face was just as serious.
“I heard it too…”
And then it came again—the blaring sound of trumpets and drums.
“But… It’s autumn.”
Alicia’s blue eyes shook.
She had planned to take her time and think of a new future…
But there was no time left.
“That’s the sound of the Emperor’s procession.”
Aness didn’t need to explain.
In this palace, only one man’s arrival was announced with those trumpets—Kaien.
“No. He wouldn’t come. Not even if I were dying—he would never come.”
She remembered her lonely death all too clearly.
“Never… he would never return.”
“But Your Majesty, the trumpets mean he is already on his way.”
Alicia had been so sure.
And yet the sound of the Emperor’s procession drew closer and closer.
“…!”
It couldn’t be.
And yet it was happening.
“Your Majesty, the procession is almost here.”
“It’s late at night… even if he’s returned, he won’t come here.”
“Forgive me, but there is nowhere His Majesty cannot go.”
One truth had not changed between her first life and this one—there are no guarantees in life.
“…Yes. You’re right.”
If there was anything absolute in this world, it is Kaien’s will.
Alicia’s wishes had never mattered.
Her marriage, his absence, his coldness—everything was his decision.
“Not yet…”
At least right now, Kaien didn’t hate her.
But still, she had been foolish to believe he would never come.
The sound of trumpets grew louder and louder, and Alicia wanted to slap her past self for being so sure.
But panicking wouldn’t change anything.
If she did nothing, this life would turn out just like the last.
“Aness, close all the curtains and put out the lights!”
“What?”
“Quickly!”
The Emperor’s procession was drawing closer, but the winding roads meant he couldn’t see her rooms yet.
Alicia hid in the dark, her heart pounding wildly.
And then, slowly… the trumpets began to fade into the distance.
“Ha…”
Alicia let out a long sigh and sank onto the sofa.
At least, for tonight, she wouldn’t have to face that man.
For tonight.
