Chapter 23
Aria held her breath.
Lucienās quietly delivered confession paralyzed her thoughts.
He was asking her to become his mate.
To go to his kingdom and become his queen.
āSo⦠you meanā¦ā
So this was⦠a proposal, wasnāt it?
Even Aria, who could usually laugh things off, stammered at the bluntness of it.
Lucien, seeing her fluster, gave a small laugh. The shy boy who had been biting his lip was gone.
āI didnāt expect you to be so surprised. I thought everyone knew I liked you.ā
āI mean⦠yeah, butā¦ā
Aria tried to collect her thoughts.
Of course, she had known Lucien had a crush on her. But sheād always assumed it was just a fond childhood memory. She never imagined his feelings were still this strong ā strong enough to make him act so impulsively just because she was in danger.
āI didnāt think it was proposal-levelā¦ā
āItās not a proposal.ā
Lucien quickly denied it, even shaking his head in a bit of a panic.
From that reaction alone, Aria could guess ā a prince like him, straight out of a fairytale, wouldnāt treat a proposal so lightly. Not without a ring and fireworks.
āWhen I do propose, Iāll do it properlyā¦ā
Flustered, Lucien trailed off and rubbed his face. Realizing how nervous he was, he took a deep breath and smiled faintly.
āIf you let me propose to you someday, Iāll give you the exclusive right to call me Luci for the rest of your life.ā
It seemed like a joke to lighten the mood, but the sincerity in his voice made it hard to brush off.
But Ariaās answer had already been decided.
āLucien, Iā¦ā
āWait, waitāā
Lucien cut her off, flustered again. He switched to telepathy.
ā Itās not a proposal, remember? You donāt have to answer that yet. Just answer the first suggestion.
ā Ahā¦
His confession had been so overwhelming, Aria had completely forgotten his earlier offer. As she hesitated, Lucien gently reminded her.
ā Reclaim the throne. Take revenge on those who betrayed you.
She wondered why he was asking something she had already answered when speaking with Tita. Still, since he looked so serious, she explained again ā calmly and clearly.
That she had no intention of taking revenge. That she still loved her mother and brother, and that it was better for her brother to become emperor than her.
Lucien responded cautiously.
ā Ari⦠if someone tried to poison you in the palace, your mother and brother are the most likely suspects. You know that, right?
Of course she knew. He called them suspects, but Aria had overheard their conversations ā she knew they were guilty.
ā Trying to eliminate a rival for the throne may not be right, but itās not unheard of.
Again, Aria explained her reasoning.
That Padvaās flaws were not disqualifying as a leader. That even if someone else took the throne, theyād have flaws too. And that for someone like Padva, at least he was competent. That she didnāt want to spark a new civil war after the last devastating war had already claimed too many lives.
ā So you think Padva is āgood enough.ā
ā Ari⦠youāve seen so much horror in war, I think your standards have⦠dropped.
But objectively speaking, wasnāt Padva better than average? He was well-trained, had experience in government, and his policies toward commoners were decent. Trying to kill her was tragic ā but she survived. And at least he targeted a fellow royal, not someone powerless.
When Aria tilted her head in thought, Lucien sighed.
āFine. Letās set that aside for nowā¦ā
He looked at her and asked:
āAri, what do you think makes a person who they are?ā
āWhat do you mean?ā
āI mean⦠for me, I believe itās our memories.ā
Ah ā a question about identity. The conversation had suddenly turned philosophical, but Aria nodded.
āMemories⦠yeah, that makes sense.ā
āRight. Whatās your first memory, Ari?ā
āHmmā¦ā
Though the question came out of nowhere, Aria answered honestly.
Her fourth birthday. The day she awakened her powers, read the affection in othersā hearts, and returned it. The day she vowed to become the perfect princess who would bring happiness to all her people.
āI seeā¦ā
Lucien listened quietly, then said:
āHave you heard of the āInitial Recall Theoryā?ā
Aria furrowed her brows.
āVaguely⦠remind me?ā
āItās a theory that a personās first memory isnāt a random recollection ā itās a constructed narrative to justify the life they live now.ā
Aria nodded. As a psychic-type Esper, she was somewhat familiar with psychological theories like that.
āItās like the opening of a novel. The protagonist existed before then, sure, but the story had to begin at that point ā to show what kind of person they are.ā
āā¦ā
āPeople are the same.ā
Lucien looked up at the sky. When Aria followed his gaze, the stars glittered above them.
āOut of all the many moments in your life, you chose your fourth birthday as your first memory. The day you were adored. The day you resolved to become the ideal princess everyone expected. Why? To justify the present.ā
Lucienās quiet voice blended into the still night as he began to strike the truth with sharp precision.
āYou think: I was born to be loved. I chose to become the perfect princess. So suppressing my pain and devoting myself is only natural.ā
āLucien⦠are you reading my mind?ā
āDo I seem like I am?ā
Lucien gave a playful smile.
ā But Ari, thatās an illusion. No matter how well you meet othersā expectations, youāll never be loved forever. The moment you lost your powers, your family abandoned you. Isnāt that proof?
ā Loving the people who tried to kill you ā thatās not normal. Youāre not some ideal princess. Youāre a flawed human. You should be angry for yourself.
ā ā¦So you’re saying I should take revenge?
ā Not necessarily. You donāt have to reclaim the throne. What Iām trying to say isā¦
Lucien looked straight into her eyes.
āDonāt ignore your pain just for someone elseās sake.ā
āā¦ā
Aria stared at him like she had just been struck. He softened into a gentle smile.
ā ā¦And please donāt ever say that bastard who betrayed you is better than me.
Tita had said something similar. Why did they all call Nocturne a “bastard” with such synchronized fury?
Aria felt she should explain.
ā Lucien, Nocturne is justā¦
ā Yeah, I know. Heās brainwashed, right?
Tita had apparently told him that much. Aria made a mental note to scold her later.
ā Thatās why Iām asking you not to reject my proposal ā just put it on hold. Ari, what if Nocturne doesnāt change even after the brainwashing is undone?
ā That wonāt happen.
Lucienās naturally soft eyes drooped even more at her firm reply.
ā Just hypothetically. If he doesnāt return to himself, will you still escape the palace?
ā Thatā¦
ā Promise me. If Bendrix doesnāt support you after the brainwashing is lifted, youāll leave the palace without him. Until then, Iāll stay in the capital and be your backup plan.
ā Lucien, Iā¦
ā Iām not saying betray him. Just⦠donāt refuse to prepare for the worst out of loyalty.
Aria truly believed that Nocturne would return to his old self once free. But she couldnāt bring herself to reject Lucien, who was offering to be her safety net.
In the end, she shared her escape plan with him. After getting her promise that sheād ask for help if needed, Lucien finally left satisfied.
Aria parted ways with him and slowly walked back to the Western Palace.
She was too lost in thought to notice her surroundingsā¦
āWhat did you two talk about?ā
A quiet voice startled her mid-step.
Nocturne stood there.
His face half-shadowed in the dark, only his black hair and left eye caught the moonlight. That one eye glowed bluish ā wild and intense.
He should have looked dangerous. But to Aria, all she could focus on was how flawless his features were ā perfection the darkness couldnāt hide.
She cleared her throat and replied.
āNothing special. Just out for a walk?ā
āāNothing special,ā you sayā¦ā
Nocturneās face hardened. Was he⦠eavesdropping?
But no ā she and Lucien had shared anything risky via telepathy. The only spoken words were⦠the proposalā¦
Did he hear that?
Her thought was answered immediately as Nocturne snapped:
āYou didnāt⦠accept that proposal, did you?ā
Bingo.
Aria looked at his stiff face and stifled a laugh.
āWhat if I did?ā
āā¦ā
His expression froze. Aria was genuinely curious now. What kind of twisted brainwashing had made him act like he hated her, but still flare up with jealousy like this?
āRelax. Iām not going anywhere.ā
āItās not like I was worried.ā
His brusque reply made her chuckle.
As they reached the Western Palace, Nocturne suddenly stopped walking.
He turned toward her and pulled something out of his coat.
Caught off guard, Aria accepted the small case he handed her ā and her eyes widened in surprise.
Mmf. Let’s see what he gave her.