Chapter 57
I had known for a while that the aftereffects were psychological. Every time I went through rehab training, I’d be drenched in sweat from the exertion—but if anything physical was still wrong, Keith would have fixed it already. Enoch once said he’d even bring in a priest if it was beyond Keith’s ability, but Keith had firmly insisted that wasn’t the issue.
After a brief silence, Enoch spoke.
“Write a letter.”
“A letter?”
“To your little sweetheart.”
“…I can’t believe you just said ‘sweetheart’…”
Coming from that cold, sharp-tongued face, the word felt comically out of place. Somehow, it made my shoulders relax.
“Tell her some wicked woman’s been bullying you.”
“How could I say something like that to Mari? She’s just a kid.”
“She seemed more grown-up than you, honestly.”
“….”
“She’s probably waiting for you to say something.”
“And how would you know that? You don’t know anything about Mari.”
Keith might’ve known, but Enoch didn’t know anything about her. He’d been forced to take her in almost as soon as they met, then sent her somewhere I didn’t know. I couldn’t know. There mustn’t be even a hint—because I had no idea when the demon in my mind would resurface and threaten her.
“I know.”
“Oh wow, the all-knowing Enoch Haynes knows everything now?”
“I know because I’m in the same boat, dumbass.”
“Who are you calling a dumbass?”
“Guess.”
Enoch’s large hand dropped onto my head. I tried to shake it off, but it was too late. I let him ruffle my hair for a moment before muttering:
“I’m hungry, Enoch.”
“I’m glad your appetite’s back, but don’t rush things, Florence.”
“…You’ve changed.”
“What?”
“You’re so… gentle.”
“Me? Toward you?”
“You, toward me.”
Enoch snorted. Just as I started to feel awkward, he said:
“I’ve always been soft on you. Like a total idiot. I worked for your father for years without pay, just to catch a glimpse of you, even though you wouldn’t say a word to me.”
“…”
“Now you finally see me? Good. That’s progress.”
He grinned confidently, then left the room, saying he’d bring some food. I sat there, stunned, thinking back. He was the one who never talked to me.
After that fight, Enoch never said a single word to me. He acted like I didn’t even exist, and I resented him for it. I stubbornly avoided him too. Deliberately turned my head whenever he was nearby, left the room whenever I heard his voice.
Truthfully, I was running away.
I’d convinced myself he hated me. That he stayed because he had some loyalty to the Seymour family.
“Stupid, foolish Florence. You couldn’t see a thing even with your eyes wide open…”
I was too busy clinging to people who didn’t love me, and I missed the one person who did.
Enoch, who had an unnervingly precise sense of my tastes, didn’t bring a single dish I disliked.
After eating my fill, I began rehab training again. There wasn’t much else I could do. Aside from thinking of a name for the firebird or writing a letter to Mari, rehab was my only task.
My nerves were intact, and I could feel pain. I could even walk fairly quickly, though with a limp. Still, the pain that ran up my spine and into my pelvis with every step didn’t fade. If it was truly just psychological at this point, then the human body was incredibly annoying. It wasn’t actually hurting, but believing it had to hurt was enough to make it real.
I’d spent five months tormented by phantom pain before. Jang Hyunji hadn’t feared her terminal illness as much as she feared that recurring phantom pain. I was the same. Humans can manufacture pain all on their own.
It was infuriating—and pathetic. And I hated that.
“Keith said my heart is completely healthy now…”
When I was young, people said my inability to use magic came from a weak heart.
My grandmother, though kind, was a great mage. She found it baffling that her descendant couldn’t perform even basic spells. Honestly, it was strange. No magical talent whatsoever?
Her family physician once told her that my heart was far weaker than average. That I was like someone who should have died but was barely clinging to life.
But now, my heart is strong. My body might be battered and broken in places, but my heart is in excellent condition.
Keith and Enoch told me not to rush, but how could I not?
“That woman did it as naturally as breathing.”
I had no clue how to catch up. Everyone kept saying I could do it, but that only made it worse. It was like someone telling you that you’ve got wings on your back and should just fly already—even though you’d never used them before, or even known they were there.
The most frustrated person here was me. Why am I so useless?
That’s when I heard a knock.
“It’s me. Can I come in?”
It was Laila.
She phrased it like a question, but she wasn’t really asking. Before I could respond, she opened the door and raised an eyebrow. One look at my sweat-soaked state, and she immediately grasped what I’d been doing.
“Didn’t I say not to rush things?”
“You’re the one who made me rush.”
“Did I?”
Laila laughed and sat on the edge of my bed.
“Sit here.”
“…Does it have to be now?”
I took a breath before answering, but Laila didn’t need words. She just looked at me, and that was enough. I sighed quietly and walked over.
She stared at me in silence. The longer it went on, the harder it was to hold her gaze.
“Take off the ring.”
“….”
“No one’s here. If someone comes, I’ll let you know.”
Laila, despite being born a commoner, was more comfortable with commanding others than I was, even as a noble. It reminded me of Enoch. Maybe it was something all spirit users shared. I checked the closed curtains and locked door before removing the ring. Enoch and Keith had warned me never to take it off—but proving I trusted Laila felt more important right now.
As the metal slid off my finger, I felt a soft sensation brush over my face like a feather.
I couldn’t see for myself, but I knew from Laila’s expression that I’d returned to my original face. Something oily shimmered in her violet eyes. She wiped it away twice with her lids before finally suppressing her killing intent and smiling with satisfaction.
I didn’t understand what she was hoping to see.
“You don’t really look happy seeing this face.”
“You don’t get it, Florence.”
“…?”
“Just imagining how this face could get ruined makes me feel wonderful.”
I could almost hear Keith’s voice in my head: “What the hell have you brought into our lives…?”
The Laila Green I knew was someone from the light. Her past and her parents were barely mentioned. Linus accepted her background without question. Her history was just a device.
Where had it gone so wrong? How had she changed so much?
Everyone has different turning points. I’ve never lived her life, so I can’t guess what shaped her. But maybe her path could’ve gone another way.
Laila had agreed to help me kill Linus—but I couldn’t forget. Her true grudge wasn’t with Linus.
It was with Jang Hyunji.
The woman inside me.
“You don’t need to be so scared. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“…I’m not scared.”
But even to my ears, my voice sounded like a threatened bird flaring its tail feathers. Laila chuckled softly.
“It’s a real problem, you know. The fact that I don’t dislike you.”
“….”
“I hate people who are all eagerness but no skill…”
“….”
“If I really wanted to drag that woman out of you, tying you up and beating you might be fastest—but I just can’t bring myself to do that.”
My reflection flickered in her glass-like eyes. I was terrified, but couldn’t move. Her cold fingers brushed my cheek. Her nails skimmed right under my eye—sharp, threatening.
“You can run, Florence.”
“…I chose to trust you.”
I prayed my voice didn’t shake. But of course I was scared. Anyone would be, with a threat that close to their eye. Still, even trembling, I didn’t retreat.
Laila gave me a faint smile.
And then—
Everything went dark.
