COTP 18

Episode 18

#D-90

In a pitiful, miserable dream, I faced God.

Praising God had been the mission of my life, yet ironically, I had never once truly stood before Him.

That’s why, in a way, it was a wondrous experience.

Perhaps it was just a hallucination conjured by my desperate mind, but it felt like the faith I had carried all my life was finally being acknowledged.

What was it, I wonder, that I dared to ask Him at that moment?

I don’t remember exactly, but God, wrapped in a gentle radiance, answered softly.

“Well…”

And so, God quietly seeped into my hazy dream.

His warm, comforting voice filled the space around me like a cradle.

“Child, it is not that I love you more than others, but neither do I despise you more than others.”

“…”

I wanted to open my mouth and ask:

Then why… are You so cruel only to me?

As if He heard the words I could not bring to my tongue, God smiled gently.

“I love this world, this place I have created and nurtured, equally. Yet there are always three whom I hold dear.”

It felt as if the warm light was gently stroking my hair.

My consciousness was hazy, and everything before my eyes was unclear, yet strangely, I felt comforted.

The warm voice continued.

“You were one of them.”

“Your words contradict themselves.”

“There is a difference between holding something dear and loving it above all else.”

I wondered if He would be angry if I retorted that this was just clever wordplay.

“Would I truly be angry over something so trivial?”

“…”

Startled, I shrugged my shoulders.

Once again, the light gently stroked my head.

I could tell without difficulty that it was God’s touch.

His warm voice rang out, and somehow, I felt as if He was smiling softly.

But then—

“But, My child.”

“Yes.”

“Your time has come to an end.”

That gentle, almost smiling voice—how could it utter something so cruel?

As I simply stared at the light, God’s words continued.

“It is not that a new ‘Seer’ has been chosen before you. It is simply that your time, My precious child, has ended first, so I have created one to follow your path. I have come to grant you your final grace period.”

“A grace period…”

It was no different from saying that the end of my life had already been decided.

Perhaps, on the day I received that prophecy, I was already dead.

A hollow smile forced its way onto my lips.

No matter how much I struggled, nothing would change.

“I am proud of you. I have never regretted choosing you.”

Words that sounded as if He was comforting me followed.

“Please, spend the remainder of your days without regret, and return to My embrace when the time comes.”

“…”

I could not say anything in response; I simply lowered my head deeply.

And so, waking from that strange dream, I sat blankly, staring into the void.

The light that had enveloped me was nowhere to be seen.

I could not tell whether it was a wish that had been heard, an empty dream, or whether I had truly seen God.

It was something I could not ask anyone else.

After all, who but I could possibly know the truth of what had happened?

Yet, separate from all that, there was one thing that was clear.

The rumor that a new “Seer” had been born had spread like wildfire in a single day.

Everyone in the world now knew of my fate.

There was no room for sympathy, no room for anything else.

Just as those who had spoken the language of God before me had done, I would simply pass my place to the next generation and disappear.

Like dawn’s dew, like the morning mist.

However—

When he returned from the hunting grounds, he ran into my room without hesitation.

“You!”

The sound of the door being flung open was unusually loud.

He stood there, stripped of his usual composure and dignity, staring at me for a long moment.

What was he thinking? What was it that he wanted to say?

His rough breathing echoed throughout the room.

A long silence settled over us.

Finally, he parted his lips—

“Are you really… going to die?”

That was all he asked.

But within that single question lay countless things.

Was the rumor that had spread so widely true? Had a new “Seer” truly been born? Was my life, which could only end by passing my role to the next, now approaching its dusk?

All those truths.

I slowly lifted my head and simply looked at him.

His neatly combed black hair was damp with sweat.

Under my silent gaze, his breath grew even more ragged.

As he blinked once, he let out a low growl.

“Answer me. Now!”

The face you made as you demanded an answer— it was a face I had never seen before.

What should I say?

Was “as if the world had collapsed” the right phrase?

It was strange.

There were good memories with you, too.

We had spent countless nights together, like any ordinary couple, and there were moments when I truly felt loved.

And yet, when I thought of you, the first memories that came to mind were always of the days we fought.

My voice, demanding and tearful, your cold face as you responded— they were all still vivid.

That was why seeing you wear such an expression now felt endlessly awkward.

And then—

The words I had been unable to say for so long, the words I had been unable to deliver, now felt like they could finally leave my lips.

I gave you the most beautiful smile I could muster.

“Yes.”

“…”

At that calm affirmation, he looked at me in stunned disbelief.

Those widened eyes, that gaze filled with shock—

They no longer seemed like the person I knew.

For some reason, I had always thought you would accept the news of my death with calm indifference, simply replying, “Is that so?”

“How could this happen, so suddenly…”

Finally, he murmured in a voice soaked with emptiness.

Then, as if unable to continue, his lips moved silently for a while.

His hand slowly lifted to press against his forehead.

His half-empty eyes swirled with complex emotions.

I said nothing, only watching him.

After some time, his lips, pale and trembling, moved again.

“Is this why… you have been acting so strangely lately?”

“…”

At his trembling question, I could neither affirm nor deny, nor offer any excuse.

“And I… all this time… I have only ever scolded you, not knowing anything?”

“…”

“Then, the prophecy that was given to you…”

The words that disappeared between his clenched teeth held many things.

He was asking whether the prophecy I had received, the one I could never bring myself to speak of, was about my death.

I could not give any answer.

Because everything was true.

Yet there was no confirmation more certain than silence.

“Ha, ha…”

A hollow laugh escaped him as he staggered and turned away.

Turning his pitiful body, he began to walk, as if he might collapse at any moment.

The reason my chest ached as I watched your faltering back— was it because it felt as though you were leaving me behind?

That day, the sight of you remained deeply in my heart.

“…”

I reached out a hand toward your retreating back, only to withdraw it again.

No matter what it was, my heart was rotting away.

I still could not free myself from that moment on the day I first learned of the prophecy.

In this white space, I was wrapped in vague fear and terror.

The me who cried out for life, the me who struggled desperately to avoid the inescapable death— that pathetic figure of mine.

I was afraid. So afraid.

That perhaps, no one would remember me.

That even he would gradually forget that I had ever lived.

My dear Largo,

Foolishly, it was this reality that frightened me the most, and made me feel the most sorrowful.

That, just as everyone naturally accepted that I would pass on my place and disappear—

They might forget that I had once come and gone in this world, like the morning mist fading away.

That they might forget that I had once breathed and lived upon this beautiful earth.

That, from the few people with whom I had formed connections, my existence itself might vanish completely.

And yet, that they might suffer because of me. That they might grieve. That they might be in pain.

That was what frightened me the most.

It was truly a strange thing.

It wasn’t as if I had lived a particularly earnest life. Waking up each morning and closing my eyes each night had simply become routine.

And yet, just the fact that I could see the end of my life, awakened within me a will to live that I had never even known existed.

There was one thing I knew for certain:

That I still did not want to die.

#D-87

Surprisingly, the very first person to come find me after the rumor had spread throughout the world was the king himself.

From the kingdom to the duchy, he had crossed quite a distance in a single breath, yet he did not even meet the one he cherished so dearly.

“You… you!”

He simply barged into my bedroom, his pointing finger trembling violently.

At the sound of his voice, calling out to me like a dying scream, I tilted my head in confusion.

For in that moment, the person who understood the situation the least was me.

In a moment I myself could hardly believe, I opened my mouth to face the king.