YHTD 09

Chapter 09

Occasional Moments of Genius

4
One Spring Festival, San Ye came to my house in the morning to pay a New Year’s visit. Afterward, he planned to take the bus home. He waited at the bus stop for a minute, then suddenly thought there might not be any buses left. So, he called the bus company using the number on the sign.

The operator on the other end said, “Yes, there are no more buses.”

San Ye double-checked: “Not even one? No more Route 7, no more Route 18?”

The operator replied, “That’s right. Until the seventh day of the new year, the last bus only runs until noon. There are no more buses now.”

So San Ye started walking home. Along the way, he saw a couple waiting at the bus stop. He went over and told them, “There are no more buses. I called the bus company myself—you don’t need to wait.”

The couple thanked him repeatedly.

Just as San Ye was feeling good about himself for doing a kind deed, a horn honked behind him. He turned around and saw a Route 7 bus pulling up—followed right behind by a Route 18.

Awkwardly, as the couple boarded, San Ye chose to walk home.

He later told me with great conviction: “I’d rather be mistaken as some boring guy who plays pranks on couples than be taken for a complete idiot who can’t even get basic facts straight.”

5
Once, when San Ye came back to Beijing from a business trip, I took the subway from school to meet him. Both of us had to transfer several times, but the final subway line leading to our meeting place was the same.

By sheer coincidence, we happened to take the very same train—just in different cars.

When I got off, I immediately spotted San Ye stepping out of the car ahead of mine. He was wearing a bright orange down jacket and dragging a brown suitcase, looking like a giant mobile orange with its own soil.

I didn’t call out to him. Instead, I imagined the delight on his face when, after searching all around, he suddenly turned back and discovered me standing quietly there, waiting for him.

Sure enough, things went exactly as I pictured. San Ye stopped near the exit and looked around eagerly, clearly hoping to spot his beloved girl quickly. Then, he turned his head—and… wait a second! I was behind him! Why did he stop turning after just forty-five degrees?!

I followed his gaze and saw a girl standing against the wall. She was about my height, with a similar hairstyle—and, crucially, carrying the exact same backpack model as me.

Without his glasses, San Ye started walking straight toward her. Panic gripped me—what if he gave her a warm hug by mistake? I immediately raised my voice and shouted, “San Ye! I’m over here! Right here!”

My voice was so loud and attention-grabbing that half the station turned to look at me—including San Ye, who had been lost in his mistake for a few minutes. Flustered, he hurriedly dragged his suitcase over to me.

I was furious. “You actually mistook someone else for me?! You can’t even recognize your own girlfriend?!”

San Ye calmly took my hand and replied smoothly, “Nonsense. I realized after one step that it wasn’t you. How could she possibly compare to you?”

Such a clever answer instantly melted my anger, leaving me filled only with affection for him.

But when I typed this part out later, San Ye was standing behind me with a glass of water, secretly reading over my shoulder. When I finished the last sentence, he burst out laughing so hard he nearly spilled his drink.

He said, “What I actually said back then was, ‘How could she possibly be as fat as you?’”

(╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻ Can we even have a normal relationship like this anymore?!

6
Another time, San Ye came back to Beijing, but I had evening classes. He decided to have dinner with me first and then walk me to the classroom.

That evening, my editor kept messaging me to discuss the story plot, so during dinner I was glued to my phone, grinning foolishly at his texts while replying.

Suddenly, San Ye slammed his chopsticks down.

I looked up at him, my smile still frozen in place.

Crossing his arms, he snorted coldly, “Stop playing with your phone!”

I was about to explain I was discussing work matters, but before I could, he snatched his chopsticks back up and started aggressively eating all the chicken cutlets out of my bowl. Between mouthfuls, he muttered, “Go have a relationship with your phone then!”

Realizing he was upset, I quickly put my phone away and focused on eating—mainly because most of the meat was already gone.

After dinner, he still seemed sulky, so I tugged him toward a stall selling candied hawthorns. “Want me to buy you a skewer?”

Acting all proud, he turned his head away and pulled out his wallet, tossing it to me. “I want the glutinous rice–stuffed kind.”

I obediently bought the glutinous rice skewers and held one up to his lips. After he ate one piece, his expression softened. Tilting his head toward me, he said, “You eat some too.”

Grateful, I joined him, and we walked toward the teaching building, eating one piece each.

At one point, San Ye bit into a hawthorn unevenly, leaving only half of it on the stick. When it was my turn, I accidentally pulled off one and a half pieces in one bite. Alarmed, he shouted, “My glutinous rice! My glutinous rice!”

I had half a hawthorn in my mouth and the other half sticking out. Tilting my head up, I mumbled, “Come eat it.”

San Ye lowered his head, looked at me, and suddenly said, “That’s so gross.”

I thought to myself, This guy is really pushing his luck. After all the effort I’ve spent coaxing him, he’s still acting arrogant. I was about to scold him with a fierce “How dare you!” when he added, “Ah, I really can’t help myself with you.”

Before I even realized what he meant, he bent down and ate the half that was still sticking out of my mouth.

Instinctively, I turned my head—and saw my roommates standing right behind me, eyes wide open, having witnessed the entire scene.

Clearly, San Ye had noticed them long ago. Thinking back to his earlier line, “That’s so gross,” I could only cry inside: What a perfect way to shift all the embarrassment onto me…