TSHL 09

Chapter 9

The papers and books I had just organized were scattered all over again, and the picture frame lay shattered on the floor.
The sofa in the corner had been torn apart, its cotton stuffing rolling and floating through the air like snow.

And right in the middle of the chaos — as if a storm had just passed — stood Ken, his head tilted slightly to one side.

“……”

Maybe it was because he hadn’t been feeling well.
Or maybe it was because of all the stress he’d been under when he came into the room.

Whatever it was, the last thin thread of Cassia’s reason — the one she had barely been holding onto — finally snapped.

Anger welled up inside her.
It happened in an instant.
The boy she had always pitied, no matter what he did — for that one moment, she hated him more than anyone else in the world.

Cassia bit her lip so hard she could taste blood.
Everything felt like it was falling apart.
She walked slowly toward Ken, stopped in front of him, and put her hands on his shoulders.
Her voice broke as she shouted:

“Why are you doing this!”

“……”

“Why are you acting like this…!”

Ken didn’t avoid Cassia’s eyes, even though she was glaring at him with her sanity slipping away.
He just stared back, his own eyes burning with hostility — eyes that looked exactly like those of Cassia’s dearest friend.

Seeing those eyes — so full of hate — made Cassia unbearably sad.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Ken.”

“……”

“I just… want us to get along.”

I want to be a good stepmother to you both — truly, sincerely.
I want to be a safe place you can lean on.

No… at this point, I don’t even hope for that anymore.
I just want to be allowed to exist here.

Even if you can’t accept me, please… don’t hate me.
Don’t be angry. Don’t resent me. Don’t try to drive me away like this.

Those children were the biggest reason why Diana had asked Cassia to look after the Duke’s household.

And so, realizing that her existence wasn’t accepted by them — that she meant nothing to the children — made Cassia feel as if her very purpose in life had vanished.

For her, it was despair of the deepest kind.

Was all my effort wrong?
No… maybe my very existence itself was the mistake.

The thought made her bitter.
What had I done so wrong?
I’m just someone who also lost her mother — just like them.

A lump of injustice and sorrow rose in her chest, making her feel sick.

Her heart sank under the weight of despair filling it. A faint, broken laugh slipped from her lips.

Cassia bit down on her lip until it bled and met Ken’s gaze firmly.

“I’m sorry, Ken Hydrian. But no matter how you treat me… I’ll still stay by your side.”

“……”

“Because I have to protect you. That’s the only thing I can do for your mother.”

At that, Ken’s pupils trembled.
A brief silence stretched between them — one that felt like it lasted a thousand years.

Then Ken bit his lip, shoved Cassia away, and ran out of the room.
Cassia, pushed weakly, fell to the floor.

Blood trickled from her hand where it had grazed a shard of glass.
In the heavy silence that followed, Cassia sat there for a long time, staring blankly at the floor.

The next day, Ken ran away from home.

* * *

Ken’s disappearance threw the entire Duke’s household into chaos.

“Y-young master Ken is missing!”

The maid who had gone to wake him up screamed as she burst out of his room.

Cassia, followed by several servants, rushed to Ken’s room and flung open the door.

Morning sunlight streamed across the neatly made bed.
All of Ken’s belongings were cleanly organized in their places.

But the warmth that should have been there — was gone.

Taking only a few personal items and some money, Ken had vanished without a trace.

The Duke’s estate entered a state of emergency.
The Duke, who had been away on business, was summoned back immediately.

When he arrived, breathless, and saw Ken’s empty room and Cassia’s silent expression, he seemed to understand something — but he didn’t ask.

Finding Ken came first.
By the Duke’s command, the knights began searching the entire territory.

They combed through Ken’s academy, the training grounds where he practiced swordsmanship, and even the hills behind the mansion where he liked to ride.

Every inch of the duchy was searched, again and again — but there was no sign of Ken.

Because Ken was skilled with a sword, they also suspected he might have joined a mercenary group somewhere, so they spread word across neighboring regions.
Still, there was no trace.

Cassia was in a state of panic.
At first, she couldn’t even bear to look at the Duke’s face.

When she finally managed to gather herself, she approached him and spoke quietly.

“……Your Grace, the day before Ken disappeared, we… had a bit of a quarrel.”

“It’s all right, Cassia,” he said softly.
Then he called for a maid. “Take her to her room.”

“I’ll find Ken. Please, just rest for now.”

Cassia, supported by the maid, returned to her room and locked herself inside for days.

She couldn’t do anything.
The guilt was crushing — she felt she’d failed to protect Ken.
She’d broken her promise to Diana.

Was he that angry?
Or was my very presence the problem?

She couldn’t forget the look in his eyes that last moment.

It took about ten days before they finally found Ken.

He was discovered by the caretaker who regularly tended to the cemetery — at the grave where Diana rested.

“Ken!”

The Duke, his face drawn and pale, led Cassia and the knights as they ran to the family cemetery near the duchy.

In the center, where generations of the Hydrian family were buried, Ken sat in front of Diana’s gravestone.

He wore a cloak, his hood pulled low over his face.
When the Duke pulled it back, he saw how thin and ragged the boy had become.

Ken had clearly not eaten properly for days.

The Duke exhaled in relief and pulled his son into a tight embrace.

“Ken.”

“……”

Ken, limp and exhausted, leaned weakly against his father’s chest — but his eyes remained fixed on his mother’s grave.

Then, in a low, sunken voice, he spoke.

“Father.”

“Yes?”

“I hate that woman.”

“……”

“I hate her.”

Cassia saw the deep grief flicker across the Duke’s face. He couldn’t answer right away.

A cold wind swept through them. The sky was darkening — rain was coming.

After what felt like forever, the Duke finally spoke.

“Ken… your mother is gone.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s dead.”

“……”

“Death is simply that — an end. We all have to accept that now.”

Ken didn’t respond.
He didn’t cry, either.
Just as he had at the funeral, he wore that same hollow expression, silently leaning into his father’s arms.

After a while, a single tear slipped down from Ken’s unfocused eyes.

It fell onto Diana’s gravestone, darkening the stone.

Drip. Drop.

Raindrops began to fall alongside his tears, soaking the grave.

The rain grew heavier — a downpour that washed over the cemetery with a roaring hiss.

One of the knights ran to fetch umbrellas from the carriage and held one over Cassia.

While everyone scrambled under the sudden rain, the Duke just held Ken tighter in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry for putting such a heavy burden on you. I’m so sorry, my son.”

And for a long time, Ken just stayed there — silent and hollow — in his father’s arms.

The rain kept falling, mingling with his tears, until no one could tell which was which.

* * *

“It’s all your fault. Mother left the mansion because of you.”

Nick’s voice trembled.
He wasn’t wrong that their mother had once been overly eager to get close to them.
She’d probably just wanted to do well, while the boys, confused and grieving, couldn’t accept her.

But by the time she had quietly given up and stopped trying to reach out, she no longer approached them at all.
There was no reason to torment her, to drive her out the way they had.

After Ken’s disappearance, Cassia had lived in constant fear within the mansion — barely functioning except when performing her duties as duchess.
The rest of the time, she lived like a shadow.

“And I never even got to apologize to her… Then I found out it was all a contract. That their marriage was just a contract. How could that be?”

Nick’s voice broke.
Ken let out a faint, bitter laugh. Nick flinched.

“A contract, huh? So what?”

“What?”

Ken grabbed his brother’s wrist.
When Nick tried to shake him off, Ken’s hand fell limply away.

“Nick Hydrian. I made my stance clear from the start. I said I didn’t like her.
I didn’t like that she was sitting in my mother’s place. Contract or not — whether she came close to me or not — I just hated that she was there, pretending to be my mother.”

“……”

“At least I was honest about it. But you? While I was speaking up, what did you do?
You hid behind me, crying like a coward.
Since the day I left that mansion, tell me — what have you ever done for her?”

Nick was silent for a long time.
Then, slowly, he sank onto the sofa and buried his head in his hands.

“……I was just about to,” he whispered.