Episode 12: A Heart Frozen by the Smell of Blood
Rine led Bertina back inside the castle. Chaos filled the hallsāservants surrounded them, asking what happened and if they were safe. But Rine said nothing, pushing past them and taking Bertina straight to her room.
Inside, Iris and Lotos, the twin maids, who had returned earlier to prepare tea, greeted her in shock.
āLady Bertina! What is all this noise?ā
āWhat happened to Hanna!?ā
Their voices rushed at her, but Bertina couldnāt answer. She wanted to say Hanna fell into darkness, but her mind was in too much confusion. Rine spoke for her, telling the twins that Hanna had indeed fallen, and firmly dismissed them from the room.
Then Rine turned to Bertina, speaking gently.
āPlease calm down and listen. When a normal human falls into darkness, they first lose their reason. Some regain it. Some never do. Milan is facing her now, trying to cool her down and bring her back.ā
āā¦And if she doesnāt regain her reason?ā Bertina asked.
Rine only shook her head at first, but Bertina pressed her sharply, eyes flashing.
āAnswer meāwhat happens to her!?ā
Rine closed her eyes, her expression pained.
āā¦If she is not accepted by this world, then we⦠must lay her to rest.ā
The words struck like ice. Lay her to restākill her.
Bertinaās body shook, her fingers turned cold, and she nearly collapsed. Rine caught her and guided her to the sofa.
āAll we can do now is pray that doesnāt happen. Trust in her heart⦠and trust in Milan. Please.ā
Rine sat beside her, gently rubbing her back. Normally, Bertina hated being touched. But in that moment, she allowed it, and her trembling heart eased just slightly.
Time blurred. When she finally looked at the clock, the hands showed two in the morning.
āIām fine now,ā Bertina whispered.
Rine withdrew her hand immediately.
Still, Bertina thought her hands were beautiful, even the way she moved was graceful. Why does she wear menās clothes? Bertina wondered. Rine noticed the look and glanced back uncomfortably.
āYou still look paleā¦ā
āAfter what I saw, and what you told me, of course I do.ā
The image of Hannaās suffering burned in her mind. Just before transforming, Hanna had cried Help me. And before that, she had said she was glad to follow Bertina hereāthat serving her was happiness.
Now Bertina feared that very happiness had triggered the curse. She pressed her hand to her eyes.
And someday, it will be me. If I fall, and cannot return to reason, theyāll⦠kill me too.
The thought made her chest heavy.
āDonāt lose hope,ā Rine said softly. āMilan is clumsy and poor with words, but heās strong. He takes his duties seriously, and heās kind. Heāll help her. And Hanna surely cares for you deeply. That bond will bring her back.ā
Bertina only nodded faintly.
But being alone with Rine felt strangely awkward. They had only met once before, and now suddenly sat side by side. The closeness felt unnatural.
What bothered her more, though, was Rineās connection to Milan. They had arrived together earlier. They spoke informally, almost familiarly.
āRine⦠what exactly is your relationship with Prince Milan?ā Bertina asked.
Rine tilted her head, answering plainly.
āWeāve been childhood friends since birth. Formally, Iām his attendant.ā
Attendantāa role like a maid, but for men. Bertina frowned. Why say āattendantā instead of maid? Perhaps because of her clothing. Rine wore menās trousers, not dresses. Perhaps she had reasons, or perhaps, though female in body, her heart leaned toward being male.
The thought unsettled Bertina further. If Rine was both his attendant and his lover, their closeness made too much sense. A pang stirred in Bertinaās chest.
āā¦I see. You two simply seemed very close.ā
āMy mother works here, in the kitchens. So yes, Milan and I grew up together. Weāve been stuck with each other since we were children.ā
She gave a light laugh, adding that she was actually a little younger than Milan.
At that moment, a knock sounded on the door.
Bertina rose to answer, but Rine stepped ahead.
āIāll get it.ā
She opened the doorāthen froze. A heavy stench of blood poured into the room.
And there stood Milan. His black clothes were soaked with blood, his face and hands smeared red.
Bertinaās eyes went wide, her hand flying to her mouth.
āMilan⦠that bloodādonāt tell meā¦ā
Rineās voice trembled. Hanna wasnāt there. Fear clawed at Bertina.
But Milan only tilted his head calmly.
āā¦Itās mine. Donāt worry.ā
He stepped inside.
āThe maid you brought, Bertinaāsheās been carried to the servantsā quarters. Iris, Lotos, and the others are watching her. Sheāll wake up soon enough.ā
Relief crashed over Bertina. Hanna was alive. Her knees nearly buckled, and Milan quickly caught her.
āDonāt overdo it. Rest, Bertina.ā
His voice was gentle.
But Rine cut in coldly. āMilan, your wounds are serious. And youāll stain Lady Bertina with blood. Step back.ā
Milan immediately let go.
āItās nothing. I didnāt want to fight her in my true form, since she was once human. I just let her bite me a lot. Thatās all.ā
He grimaced slightly, as if the memory stung.
āā¦Anyway, Iāll return to my room. The twins will keep watching her. Bertina, rest. Do you want me to call them back to you?ā
āNo⦠Iāll bathe first. The water is already prepared. But Milan, your woundsāā
Bertina stumbled to a cabinet, pulling out disinfectant and medicine. She hurried back, holding them out.
āā¦Whatās that?ā Milan asked.
āDisinfectant and salve. Let me treat you.ā
He narrowed his eyes at her hands.
āNo. I hate the sting. This is nothing. If it needs treating, Rine can do it. Not you.ā
His words hit harder than any wound.
So⦠Iām not trusted at all. Iām not wanted. The one he truly relies on is Rine.
And hadnāt Rine also told Milan to move away from her earlier? Not just because of bloodāperhaps out of jealousy.
āā¦Fine. Let Rine do it, then.ā
Bertina handed the medicine to Rine with perfect composure. The two of them walked away down the corridor to Milanās room.
Now itās clear. He and Rine are lovers.
Bertina sighed, her chest tight. Of course heād want someone he loved to tend his wounds. That was natural. But the sharp way he had rejected her still stung deeply.
She slumped onto the sofa, staring at the empty passage.
Why did I come here?
Her marriage was supposed to fulfill duty. Later, she had told herself it was also for revenge. But secretly, she had hoped⦠hoped she might not be hated here. Hoped she might not be alone.
But Milan wanted nothing to do with her. He had made that clear.
Thatās why I was shaken. Thatās why⦠I felt hurt.
Her ice-blue eyes shimmered with tears.
What was I expecting? How foolish of meā¦
She leaned back against the sofa, closing her heavy eyes.