Chapter 12
Aimless footsteps led this wretched body to the temple.
The royal guards stationed outside the temple bowed their heads upon seeing me.
I returned a light nod and opened the door with familiar ease.
The cold, sunken air unique to the temple greeted me.
An empty, hollow auditorium with not a soul in sight. The scent of emptiness lingering in the air.
I walked past the long benches lined up in rows.
At the end, a white statue gazed down at me.
And beneath that statue, as if it belonged there by default, sat a piano made of crystal.
This crystal piano had been a wedding gift from him when I married into this house.
Perhaps thatās why…
This cold glass, standing alone to guard the temple, felt strangely like myself. Sitting in front of it, I ran my fingertips over the keys.
The familiar feel of wood beneath my fingers. Firmly, I pressed a white key.
Do, do, do…
The heavy yet clear notes rang out, echoing softly. The empty auditorium filled with just this single scale.
The language only I could see began, as always, to fill my insides tightly. Pleading, begging to be born here, in this place.
With only a hollow laugh added on top, I think… I completed the final song of my life.
The rich and beautifully blooming melody seemed to bless the last steps of my journey.
Even if I could see another divine language again, I would never bring it to the world now.
Looking up at the statue staring down at me after my final performance, I murmured:
āO God, if there was even a hairās breadth of meaning in my lifeā¦ā
The day I return to Your embrace.
When You meet me face-to-face, I beg You, please tell me my song of praise was pleasing to Your ears.
Tell me the path I walked was not vile, and please⦠comfort me.
āā¦Goodbye.ā
Muttering that small farewell, I stood up.
I grabbed the hammer that was always kept in the temple.
Then, without hesitation, I swung it at the piano.
Instead of soft notes, a loud crash rang out.
The fragile crystal shattered into countless pieces.
As I watched the transparent shards scatter midair, I thought:
What were you, really?
You, who gave me the whole world, who defined me, and at the same time, made it impossible for me to simply exist as myself.
Again, I swung the hammer. Another loud crash followed.
To me⦠what were you?
Something⦠yet nothing. You gave me everything, only to take it all away.
And yet, at the same time, you were a piece of my heart, a shard of my soul.
The finest hymn to God. A message from God to humanity.
Ultimately, something born from my fingertipsāmy own creation.
The shattered crystal slowly began to lose its shape.
What would my life have been like had I never met you? Would I still be wandering some filthy slum, barely surviving?
Never having met the king who hurt me most, nor him, who couldnāt even be defined.
Crash.
Finally, with a roaring noise, the instrument collapsed completely.
Scattered glass shards, broken crystal, tangled wires, keys, hammers, and pedals were strewn all over.
Staring at the wreckage, I felt a strange sensation.
How should I describe it� The thrill of committing my first act of rebellion in my entire life?
Just as a small smile started to form on my lips, the firmly closed door burst open.
āVi!ā
You screamed briefly and ran into the temple.
You stared at me holding the hammer, and at the pathetic fragments that had once been the crystal piano.
Your endlessly red gaze trembled.
Confusion, shock, anger, disbelief.
All sorts of emotions shot toward me.
āWhat⦠what have you done?!ā
Hearing that, I opened my mouth as if nothing had happened.
āYouāve arrived, Your Highness.ā
āā¦ā¦ā
My attitude must have felt like a slap to the back of his head.
With an expression Iād never seen before, my husband just stared at me for a long while.
āVi has finallyā¦ā
After quite a long silence, his lips trembled.
The words he finally chose came out with great difficulty:
āYouāve finally lost your mind.ā
āIām perfectly sane.ā
I replied shortly and gazed at the beautiful yet miserable remains.
It was the truth.
Since learning of the prophecy, today was the clearest, most peaceful day of my life.
Even the way I looked up at him, my eyes must have resembled a sky without a single cloud.
A hollow laugh escaped me.
āThereās no one left to play it anymore⦠I just wanted to send it off with my own hands.ā
Even down to the smallest shard.
I wanted to sink them quietly into a crystal-clear lake.
Suddenly, his rough hands grabbed my shoulder.
āVi!ā
At your shout, the hammer slipped from my hands.
Bang! The heavy hammer crashed into the marble floor, its echo rattling the empty auditorium.
āI told you already⦠Iāll never send you back to the kingdom.ā
ā¦Was it inevitable he would misunderstand my words that way?
Well⦠I suppose so. It was something I only knew because of the prophecy⦠because I could read him.
There was no way my husband could imagine⦠that my life was coming to an end.
His sharply sunken eyes glared at me as if to devour me.
āVi, you will live here⦠and you will die here.ā
āā¦Yes.ā
Blinking once at our locked gazes, I responded softly between my teeth.
āI will follow Your Highnessās will.ā
He seemed taken aback at my emotionless reply.
I looked straight at him and continued:
āI will die⦠by Your Highnessās side.ā
After all, I had only 120 days left.
Your fleeting time⦠and my eternity were crossing paths.
If this was the choice you made, for this brief moment where I existed tangled within your universeā¦
If you wouldnāt let me go now⦠If I had no way of escaping you⦠Then I thought, it was right to follow your will.
I would spend the remaining time I had like this⦠doing what I could, one thing at a time⦠until I finally closed my eyes beside you.
That too⦠was another wish of mine.
D-119
āā¦His Highness the Grand Prince seemed very shockedā¦ā
In the morning, as my maid combed my hair, she cautiously spoke.
I immediately understood what she meant.
āā¦Sorry?ā
āDid you really⦠break it? The templeās piano?ā
I neither said yes nor no and sank into deep thought.
Why would she ask something she already knew?
Perhaps rumors had already spread among the maids⦠that the Crown Princess had lost her mind.
I knew it wasnāt something a sane person would do.
What would happen when this rumor reached the kingdom?
Would the king be raging, furious that I had disgraced his name?
I could easily picture the pale, furious face of the king in my mind.
At the same time, doubt crept inside me.
Was I expecting too much from the king?
The king, who didnāt even consider me his child, might scoff at my strange rumors and say it had nothing to do with him.
Or⦠maybe not.
The truth was⦠I didnāt know.
Just as the king hated me⦠I didnāt know anything about him either.
āā¦Before your wedding, His Highness the Grand Prince went through a lot to get that piano.ā
Her words sounded like she was defending him.
āIt was personally crafted by the previous āSeer.ā The temple almost never agreed to part with it⦠I heard His Highness struggled a lot.ā
āā¦.ā
Ah⦠how ironic.
The previous generation had created it⦠and the next generation that appeared after so long⦠failed to inherit its meaning and shattered it instead.
āThey only agreed after much persuasion, saying it was for the newly appeared Seer. Honestly⦠if I may say, I think His Highness went through all that trouble because it was worth it. It was so beautiful⦠I donāt think Iāll ever see something like it again.ā
The maid murmured regretfully.
I wasnāt sure if ābeautifulā was a fitting word for an instrument⦠but even to my eyes, that crystal piano had been beautiful.
Especially when the morning sunlight poured in⦠I would search for every word in the world to describe its brilliance.
The dazzling radiance cast by clear glass facing the white sun.
The movements that created sound⦠the moments when my music echoed endlessly from the dark⦠and met me again.
Recalling all of that, I finally, truly realized the gravity of what Iād done.
I was the one who erased all the splendor known only to me.
But there was no regret. If anything⦠my heart felt light.
Remembering the true cause of all this, I looked at the maid reflected in the mirror.
It felt like the maidās gaze met mine in the reflection, so I gently curved my eyes.
āYeowan.ā
āYes, Your Highness?ā
āEven when Iām goneā¦ā
My throat tightened, as if I were leaving behind some useless, ungranted will.