TBKBS 37

Chapter : 37

But saying something like, “Yes, that’s right — I did like you,” felt like it would come off as such a blatant lie, and the thought even crossed my mind that his blind faith in me might be some kind of test.

“I don’t know, Calix.”
In the end I answered cautiously.

“So are all your questions solved now?”
He asked, changing his expression.

“No.”
I still had one question left.

“What is it?”
“What you said — that you got a headache when your memories disappeared — was that right?”
“Yes.”
“At that time, did any accident happen? Were you injured? Even falling off a horse? Why did your memory suddenly vanish?”

“Ha ha ha ha.”
Calix suddenly laughed.

Why are you laughing?

“Falling off a horse? I’ve never done anything like that.”
“Ah….”
So in his dictionary there was no such thing as falling off a horse?

“Nothing happened. Suddenly a headache came, it was unbearably painful, and then my memory disappeared. Poof! That’s it.”

“…….”
A sudden headache, then memory lost.

An image flashed into my head out of nowhere.

For some reason, the instant I heard him speak, that image popped up right away.

The last image seen right before death…

The image of my laptop, crushed flat under a car.

That had been the last thing I’d seen before closing my eyes in my previous life, and the image had remained intact in my memory. That crushed shape and the mysterious headache naturally connected to an image of Calix suffering.

He had said that the only memories he’d lost were the ones related to Kaelin.

But the content saved on my actual laptop was exactly that.

Most of what I’d written and saved on the real laptop were episodes from Calix and Kaelin’s childhood and the several years from when Kaelin returned to the capital up until she was killed by Calix.

Settings for characters and background and the synopsis had been written in my notebook by hand.

If memories had vanished one day with no accident or trigger, perhaps my laptop — ruined in my traffic accident — had damaged his head?

Putting logic aside, I had a gut feeling that the cause of his amnesia was my damaged laptop.

“What are you thinking so hard about? Are you done being curious?”
Calix spoke again.

“Yes.”
All my questions were solved.

Solving them didn’t change anything, but the baffling circumstances were finally explained.

“Let me tell you one more thing. The memories you lost were only those related to me, and they’ve come back now. Do not, for your father’s sake, try to use this fact anywhere.”
Calix’s expression was very cold as he said that.

I shivered.

I looked him square in the face and said, “I won’t do something like that, Your Highness! As I’ve told you many times, I support you. Whatever happens, I am on your side.”

“You should. You will be my wife.”
“!!!”
No — the one who’s supposed to be his wife is Estelle Dacus.

I’m the one whose death is scheduled.

I had been fleeing a predetermined death and he’d grabbed me; by the original course that should have put my life even closer to death.

But I resolved to pretend to love him and survive instead.

I promised myself that I would never accept my death nor give up on living, until the end.

The novel files stored on my laptop were damaged — enough for Calix to lose his memory.

If so, then the future in which I die might also have become uncertain.

Facing Calix, I steeled myself with the will to survive.

“Aiden Dacus, Crown Prince, accepted your breaking of the engagement. Calix himself requested the annulment. That bastard.”
A few days later my father said this.

“Oh… I see.”
Compared to my father’s anger, I was calm.

It was the natural course of events.

Honestly, I couldn’t tell who the “bastard” was supposed to mean.

Calix, who requested the annulment without my consent?
Eden, who accepted it without a single objection?
When Calix had captured me as I fled, one could already expect him to behave like this.

Eden, too.

Would Eden travel to Everretian to take me away while I was under continuous surveillance after being captured by Calix?

Besides, it wasn’t a marriage born of passionate love….

Eden, who had to focus on the upcoming profit wars surrounding Aolon, wouldn’t risk danger for my sake alone—that was obvious.

“Father, is the promise you made with Crown Prince Eden still valid? Are you still going to ally with the Empress to push Calix out?”
“Yes.”
“…….”
“You may dissolve the engagement with her, but he reaffirmed that our secret agreement remains unchanged. To be honest, we’ve gone too far already.”

My father’s voice sank into deep anguish.

“As soon as the annulment was made official, I think Calix will propose to me. Now that the annulment is settled, he’ll probably demand marriage soon.”

“Hmm….”
A deep wrinkle formed on my father’s brow and his face grew darker, and seeing that made my heart unsettled.

If Estelle comes to Everretian, Calix — who will fall in love with her — will marry Estelle.

Until that time, I only had to accept his proposal and pretend to love him, to hold on until he fell in love with Estelle Dacus.

However, I was increasingly feeling a sense of responsibility toward my father and brother.

I had been convincing myself that I was doing everything I could to save them. I’d rationalized that since I obviously faced a path to death, I couldn’t go with them to the end. But the more I felt how much they truly loved me, the more guilty I felt about trying alone to find a way to survive.

What could allow both my family and me to live?

While I was once again frustrated by our situation, Luke came into my father’s study.

Luke’s face was flushed. From his expression I could tell he was quite excited.

There was something ominous about the atmosphere.

No sooner had the door closed than my father asked Luke, “What happened?”

“It’s been decided as you suggested, Father. We’ll put it into action immediately.”
What suggestion? What would they put into action?

A sense of urgency rose, and with it my anxiety.

“Father, what is it?”
My father looked at me and spoke sternly.

“Lin. Listen carefully. In fact, as soon as the annulment with Calix was official, Crown Prince Calix already sent me a marriage proposal.”

Ah! Already?
It had already come?

Seeing my father’s stern face, mine stiffened too.

What would happen now?

I had no choice but to accept Calix’s proposal… If I were engaged or married to Calix, would my father and brother continue the rebellion to the end and be killed, and then when the heroine appears I would be divorced or possibly killed as well?

But what followed my father’s words shocked me even more than the news of Calix’s quick proposal.

“Lin, therefore, before Crown Prince Calix proceeds with marrying you, I’ve decided to start a war.”

“What?!!!!!”
I was so stunned I nearly shouted.

“Lin. Keep your voice down.”
“Ah…! Father. But you’re saying we’ll bring the war forward?”

The border war was supposed to happen in about a year. They were going to move it up?

“You can’t go and turn a blade on him after I’ve already sent you to Calix.”
I knew my father couldn’t turn the direction of the dagger he’d aimed, but to advance the timing like that!

Even if the timing was moved up, Calix is the male lead.

As the male lead, it was obvious the ending where he wins and is happy wouldn’t change.

So far the differences from the original story were that my laptop had been ruined and that had changed Calix’s condition, and the chain of changes produced by my actions to survive.

Anyway, the basic setting and synopsis remained, and the fact that Calix was the protagonist of this novel would not change.

Even if I changed my attitude toward him 180 degrees, the fact that my father and brother would be annihilated probably wouldn’t change.

Was this truly unavoidable…?
Would I soon have to watch my father and brother be killed?

“Father! How about I just tell Calix everything? Reveal your plan and beg for mercy—maybe….”
“Lin. Do you think that’s reasonable?”

True, even if I were my father I’d think it was unreasonable.

They’d already arranged territory trades with another country. It was irreversible.

If I begged Calix for forgiveness, he might spare my life, but if war was carried out, the conclusion would still be death. That’s why I wanted to try anything.

I felt helpless, crushed beneath the wheels of fate in the very novel I had written.

The novel was cruelly unlucky.

There was simply no way out.

“Father, exactly when will the war begin?”
“Very soon. Soon, Lin. That’s all you need to know.”
My father didn’t tell me anything more.

He clearly didn’t intend to.

He must have thought he couldn’t share additional information with a daughter who kept saying strange things.

After that, living each day feeling as if I were walking on thin ice, waiting for news that might come any day about the outbreak of war, my head ran the same circuit of thoughts thousands of times over.

I couldn’t stop my father and Eden.

The war would break out, the emperor would be assassinated, and Leon would be placed on the throne.

But the plans for war and rebellion would all fail, and Calix would kill my family.

My future was bleak.

Thinking over and over about that inevitable conclusion, despite my father’s firm refusal I kept returning to one idea.

What if I told Calix everything in advance?

Since he says he loves me, if I gave him all the information first, wouldn’t he spare not only my life but also my father and brother for my sake?

If I were to inform him of my father’s rebellion plans and the details of the war beforehand, I would surely gain his trust, and my chance of survival would definitely increase.

But the problem was that I couldn’t be certain he would be merciful enough to save my whole family even if I did that.

Because I couldn’t be sure, I couldn’t actually act on that method of betraying my family.

I only wavered in my thoughts, finding no answer or conclusion.

And while I spent day after day with my head about to burst, Abby—who had been absent for some time—came to see me.