Episode 12
Flint replied with a bored expression. “I’ll say it again, Your Highness. I’m in no rush to get married.”
“No rush? I’m the one who’s in a rush! Please, don’t go against your dear father.”
“This time, your father is right. At your age, you should at least be engaged.”
Flint knew the conversation was going nowhere. Talking more would just repeat the same thing. He found the whole thing tiring, so he changed the subject.
“Heraith, more importantly, Lady Rosana said something strange and didn’t take the hairpin. I don’t understand what she meant.”
“What did she say?”
Thankfully, Heraith played along and helped change the topic.
“She said she doesn’t want to remember each other’s shame. And asked me to lend her wisdom and boldness.”
Flint remembered Eliano’s clear voice. It was like a soft knock, yet it left a lingering feeling. A bit strange, really.
“So you really broke a lady’s item? That’s your shame.”
Heraith clicked his tongue while inspecting the hairpin. One of the antennae was missing, and the other was broken. The gem was about to fall off. Flint had gripped it too tightly.
“But rejecting someone’s kindness is also shameful.”
“Then why didn’t she take it?”
“Because it’s useless now. Who would use a broken accessory like this?”
Flint’s expression changed slightly. What if he had it repaired by a craftsman…? As if reading his mind, Heraith chuckled.
“Do you really think a single butterfly hairpin matters to Lady Rosana? She probably has dozens of them lying around at her place.”
Flint looked at the hairpin and fell into thought. Saying “don’t send it back” must have meant to throw it away. Saying she’d deny it if it were sent… Flint let out a small, dry laugh.
If ladies expressed their feelings by dropping items, then gentlemen responded by returning them — a way of courting. Some even stole a lady’s item on purpose to show affection. On the other hand, strong-willed ladies who felt their suitor wasn’t worthy would openly express how wrong it was to take someone else’s belongings.
Eliano’s warning to deny it must have meant just that — if Flint tried anything, she’d make sure he’d be embarrassed. That’s how Flint understood it. He wouldn’t have figured it out without Herace’s advice.
“Don’t send that butterfly hairpin back to the Rosana household.”
“Why not?”
“You were really thinking of sending it? I don’t want to see my friend used as a token to decorate Rosana’s daughter.”
Heraith shook his head. Flint only wanted to return it out of kindness, but the Duke of Rosana would take advantage of the situation. He might even spread rumors that Duke Howard was making a move on his daughter by stealing her things. Or he might say it wasn’t Eliano’s at all, just to humiliate Flint. Then Eliano would become known as “the girl who turned down the crown prince and Duke Howard”.
Heraith warned him again.
“Absolutely not, Flint.”
Meanwhile, Flint remembered what Eliano had said at the end.
”— If you know my father, you’ll understand what I mean.”
Flint understood her message. Sending the hairpin back would give her father a reason to deny that it belonged to her and cause trouble for Flint. And it wouldn’t even be Eliano’s choice — it would be her father’s. He had almost misunderstood.
Heraith spoke again.
“I’m already one of her ‘badges of honor’. You can’t join the collection. I’m already tired just thinking of the rumors.”
The story of Rosana Duke rejecting the Emperor’s suggestion to pair Eliano with Heraith was famous. Ever since that day, Eliano had been labelled “the girl who rejected the crown prince”.
That’s why Heraith always disliked bringing it up. It had only been a political move, a simple marriage arrangement. But it still felt like a real rejection. Sometimes, Heraith criticised Eliano harshly because of those feelings.
“Just throw that butterfly away already.”
At Heraith’s words, Flint nodded.
“Lia, go home first. You look tired.”
“Yes, Father.”
Eliano quietly obeyed the Duke of Rosana. On the surface, it looked like he was caring for her. But really, he was just watching her to make sure she didn’t do anything foolish since it was late. Eliano no longer searched for love in his words. She didn’t get happy or sad about it anymore.
As she left the Sanders family mansion with her knight escort and headed toward the carriage, her mind was racing.
“Why were you like a wallflower today? I heard you had a fight with Lady Sanders?”
Eliano opened her mouth to answer the knight but closed it again. The old her would’ve kindly told the knight everything. In her past life, she had feared her father so much that she was terrified of being cold to even the family knights. Because they were her father’s eyes and ears. He changed them often too, as if worried she’d become close with any of them.
So Eliano had no connection to the knight walking beside her. But the old her had been friendly to each and every one of them. From a young age, Eliano was taught that noble ladies must be kind. But a duke’s daughter didn’t need to be kind to everyone. Just to those who deserved it. She didn’t have to be kind all the time.
Even if this knight was one of her father’s spies, he was still just a knight. She didn’t need to care. Her past self had been pitiful not knowing this.
“My lady? You should answer.”
Now that she understood what rudeness felt like, she couldn’t tolerate it anymore. Now she understood why her younger sister always said things like, “How dare they?” or “Know your place.”
Eliano thought of her father. The Duke of Rosana wouldn’t care if she insulted a knight.
“Do I have to answer every question you ask me?”
Old habits were scary. Her voice, so easily cold with others, came out weak and shaky when speaking to someone from the Rosana mansion. At least her voice didn’t tremble — that was a small comfort.
“What did you just say?”
Her heart pounded. Eliano ignored him and walked past. Her smile was neat, her steps graceful. They say starting is the hardest part. Now that she’d done it once, she could keep going.
She took a deep breath.
How strange that people inside the mansion were harder to deal with than those at social events. She almost wished she could borrow her little sister’s rude personality.
Eliano got into the carriage — and frowned. The knight had followed her in. Clearly, this knight was a bold one. Eliano made a mental note to have him replaced as soon as she returned.
“Get out, Sir.”
“Pardon? But I must protect you from danger.”
They weren’t going far or anywhere dangerous. There was no reason for a knight to ride in the carriage too. It was just an excuse to be near her.
“What danger could there be in the capital?”
“There’s a slum area on the way.”
Lies.
Why would a noble family’s carriage go through there? He must think she’s an idiot. Eliano wanted to ask the coachman if it was true, but decided not to make a scene. Instead, she said something else.
“Then that’s exactly why you should be outside the carriage.”
“…Sorry?”
“What if someone throws a stone? Besides, is there even a slum on the way?”
At her sharp reply, the knight made an ugly face and got off. Eliano closed her eyes. Now that her father’s spy was gone, she felt much better.
Even if he was just a knight, she could understand why he dared to act up. In the past, she really had been clueless — like a fool raised in a greenhouse, just as her father wanted. Hadn’t she done her job by marrying into an enemy country as a princess? And even after that, he used her.
Looking back, she was glad that the whole family — both main and side branches — had been destroyed.
— You lived in luxury because you were Lady Rosana. I gave you that life. So now, repay me.
Because she had lived in a noble home, she had to be sold off to an enemy country in marriage. If that was the price, she had already paid it in her past life — many times over. In this life, she would give him nothing.
Ever since she came back in time, Eliano often dreamed of her past life. Sometimes she saw herself leaving Bianteca in tears. Other times, she saw herself happily married in Zacador. The latter made her feel sick, because she knew how it ended.
She remembered the cruel words of the nobles in Zacador:— A lowborn illegitimate child, as Empress? I’d rather die of shame.
Who were they calling lowborn?
Zacador was the country where men bragged about having multiple lovers. Some had more than one wife and mistresses. And yet they treated illegitimate children like trash. How disgusting.
At least in Bianteca, even if a man had a mistress, he hid it. Because it was something to be ashamed of. Even children from mistresses, if accepted, could have some rights. They weren’t treated well, but compared to Zacador, it was humane.
The knight Eliano had just fired was said to be an illegitimate child from a viscount’s family. Still, he had been knighted and joined the Rosana house guard. And still had the nerve to hit on her in a carriage.
Now that she had come back by some miracle, Eliano was shocked by how rude the servants and knights were. They did these things behind her father’s back, in secret.
She couldn’t believe she had put up with it all in the past. She had been so ignorant that she didn’t even recognize rudeness or harassment. Seeing how much she’d changed, she felt proud.
People don’t usually change easily. But Eliano had gone through so much. It had completely changed who she was. She called that growth. She had finally become a true adult.
‘But what’s the point of growing up? I trusted love, and it brought me misery and death.’
What she had to do was clear. She must never marry the prince of Zacador.
