Chapter 5
“Alex.”
“Y-yes, Head Maid!”
The monster—no, Alex—snapped his legs together and stood tall the moment I called his name.
“Hmm…”
I flipped through my notes, and Alex flinched so hard the chandelier brushed against his head and swayed dangerously.
That thing’s gonna fall one of these days.
“Hold the chandelier steady.”
“Yes, ma’am!”
He quickly grabbed it and forced a smile.
‘Good enough.’
The way he hunched awkwardly under the ceiling—despite being over four meters tall—was proof he’d learned his lesson.
Actually, the reason I even knew his name goes back a few days earlier…
***
Alex was huge, at least four meters, maybe more.
So I assigned him and the slime monster to clean the outer walls.
To keep them honest, I checked on them the second day. As expected, Alex looked down at me and sneered.
“Sorry, Head Maid. But this rag is way too small for me. If I use it on the wall, my arm will fall off first.”
He tossed my freshly washed rag onto the ground like trash, then leaned lazily against the mansion wall, legs crossed.
‘…What’s his problem?’
Honestly, with his bark-like body, he looked more like a tree than a person. If he didn’t talk, you’d never notice the difference.
But then I saw it. His weakness.
For all that size, the grass beneath him wasn’t even bent. No crushed dirt, no cracked stone.
‘So he’s actually light.’
“Come here. Sit down.”
“…?”
Confused, he did as told.
And sure enough, when that massive body sat in the garden, the grass stayed perfectly fine.
I pulled out a bunch of spare rags and tied them tight around his arm.
“W-what are you—?!”
Before he could resist, I lifted his arm and swiped it across the wall.
‘Yes! Perfect!’
The dirt wiped right off.
He was basically an oversized scrubbing brush!
After using Jameson’s tentacles as mops on the first day, I’d opened my eyes to a whole new world.
These monsters weren’t just scary—they were cleaning tools in disguise!
A free, living supply of cleaning equipment. Jackpot.
The slime monster, who’d been sprawled like jelly, even joined in, reluctantly wiping windows.
And the next day…
“Head Maid.”
“Yes?”
“My name… is Alex.”
“…Huh?”
He declared it with a proud face, hand on his chest.
Wait. Weren’t monsters supposed to never share their names?
Anyway, back to today.
While I reread the papers, Alex swayed again, chandelier wobbling.
…Seriously. Tall but feather-light.
I shut the folder.
“I checked the walls earlier.”
“Yes?”
“They were much cleaner than yesterday.”
“R-really?!”
The man nearly cried.
“Yes. Just one thing—there’s some water stains on the far-right corner of the second floor. Please take care of that.”
“Of course, Head Maid!”
“Good work, Alex.”
“Thank you!”
He bowed so hard the chandelier smacked his face, leaving a dent.
‘…Good thing he’s made of wood.’
I pretended not to notice and walked away. Behind me, I heard a sigh.
***
Later, after work ended at 6 p.m., the monsters gathered quietly in the halls.
They only did so after making sure the new human Head Maid was gone, safely eating dinner.
“Things can’t go on like this.”
“She’s just a pathetic mortal. How can we let her order us around?”
“A human who won’t live a hundred years dares to boss us about?!”
“I’ve been cleaning horse manure in the stables for a week straight!”
Grumbles grew louder, turning into angry shouts.
Some admitted, ashamed, that they’d even given her their true names.
One or two nearly cried in humiliation.
“No matter if the Master hired her, she’s still human. If he needs a human, he can replace her anytime!”
The loudest voice belonged to Jameson Diephon Kraumaken—the one with tentacle arms, once feared across the cosmos as a terror of the seas.
He shuddered, remembering when his precious limbs had been dunked into a water bucket, wrung out, and used to mop the floor.
At the time, he’d frozen in shock. Worse… it almost felt peaceful.
But he’d tried to kill her afterward, of course.
And failed.
The moment he even thought of harming her, something inside him shattered.
Why?
Even weakened by his oath to the Duke, killing a single human should’ve been nothing.
Which left only one explanation.
“She must have made a contract with the Master. One that prevents us from harming her.”
Jameson wrapped his own shoulders in his trembling tentacles.
The others fell silent.
This was the same being once known as Kraken, who dragged ships into the abyss and devoured sailors whole.
Now reduced to a mop.
And yet, all because of that human maid.
The hall went quiet.
Finally, someone whispered:
“If we complain, the Master won’t ignore us. Surely he didn’t expect things to turn out this way.”
The tide shifted.
“Yes! Let’s tell him!”
“Master will understand!”
They grew bolder, voices overlapping.
They marched up the stairs… only to hesitate before the Duke’s door.
“….”
No one wanted to knock.
Creeeeak—
The door opened from within.
The Duke stood there.
“What is it?”
His voice was so flat, so empty, it made their blood run cold.
Still, Jameson forced himself forward.
“Master… It’s about the new human Head Maid.”
“Yes.”
“She keeps mocking us! Dunking my arms in water, using me like a mop… it’s humiliating!”
His voice cracked with frustration, chest pounding.
The Duke only leaned against the wall, listening quietly.
Encouraged, the others spoke up.
“My feet hurt! I’ve never even walked on the ground before!”
“I’ve been shoveling manure every day!”
“I’ve been scrubbing walls… though, it feels kind of rewarding.”
“Shut up! Why are you even here?!”
Their bickering filled the hall until—
The Duke frowned.
“My contract with her was this: ‘She cannot be harmed.’ Nothing more. The rest is up to you.”
His tone dripped with boredom. He waved his hand dismissively and closed the door.
“….”
The monsters blinked.
Then their eyes widened.
The loophole was obvious.
They couldn’t hurt her.
But nothing stopped them from making her life hell.
An evil smile passed between them.
