~Chapter 86~
Damian’s Reason
As Eleanor began reciting the lines Damian had written in a cloud of emotion and excitement, his eyes widened in shock, and his mouth dropped open.
His pale face turned red with embarrassment as he glanced nervously at his knight and at Ernst.
Though the knights pretended not to hear anything, it was impossible they hadnât heard herâit wasnât like she was whispering.
âYouâyou dared to steal and read the letter from the next head of the family?!â
Panicking and desperate to shut Eleanor up, Damian shouted. At the same time, he realized he shouldâve just pretended he didnât know what she was talking about. But it was too late. He had already admitted it.
Having been caught, Damian jumped up and pretended to be furious, but he didnât actually throw a punch like he had earlier. Heâd finally realized that Eleanor held something that could destroy him.
âWhat do you think would happen if people found out the future head of House Astria committed a sex crime? I doubt Father would let it slide.â
Eleanor smiled sweetly as she brought up his father. Only then did Damian fully realize the seriousness of the situation, and he quickly backed off and tried to defend himself.
âCrime?! Thatâs not true!â
âOh really? Then, how do you explain the content of the letter? It sounded like you and Nora shared a very special night together.â
âNo! I meanâNora isnât evenâŠ!â
But his words quickly dried up.
It wasnât a crime. He hadnât actually done anything that intimate with Nora yet, and more importantlyâNora wasnât really his sister.
But he couldnât say that aloud. Damian believed Eleanor didnât know she was the real daughter, and he desperately wanted to keep it that way. If she found out the truth and reclaimed her position, everything would fall apart for him.
Still, he couldnât just admit to Eleanorâs accusation either.
In the Empire of Juvenile, it was strictly forbidden to marry within four degrees of blood relation. The Triton faith also viewed any sexual relations between family members as a grave sin. The same applied to the Solarem Church.
If the other nobles found out about Damian and Noraâs relationship, it would mean total social ruin for both of them.
But more than anything else, Damian was terrified of his father finding out and punishing him.
To Damian, his father was more fearsome than the emperor and more terrifying than any monster. After being acknowledged as the heir of Astria, his fear had eased a little. But ever since he had been beaten until he could barely move, it had flared up worse than ever. That was also why he had run away without proper preparation.
âDonât worry, Damian. I know.â
After a short silence, Eleanor spoke first.
Know? Know what?
Damian frowned, trying to figure out what she meant. Annoyingly, Eleanor always had a way of saying things that were confusing and unsettling. He thought she was just being arrogant.
As if reading his thoughts, Eleanor added,
âThat thing you know. I know it too.â
ââŠWhat are you talking about?â
âThat Noraâs a fake.â
The effect of those words was immenseâthough she said them like it was nothing.
Eleanor knows that Nora isnât the real one. And yet she hasnât objected or tried to reclaim her rightful place.
Damian couldnât make sense of it.
âWhat Iâm curious about,â Eleanor continued, âis how you found out. My father couldnât even figure it out, so how did you manage it with that dull brain of yours? Do you have better instincts than I thought?â
âHow dare youâŠ!â
The word âdullâ was one of the things Damian hated most. His face twisted in anger, completely forgetting to be defensive.
Watching him, Eleanor brought up one more question that had haunted her for years.
âJust tell me one thing, Damian. Why do you hate me so much?â
It was a question she had never been able to answer.
âWhy did you do all those horrible things to me? Even helping Nora become the real oneâwhen you knew she was a fake?â
If she had done something to hurt Damian, she could at least understand. But Damian had hated Eleanor from the very beginningâfrom the moment she returned to the Astria mansion at the age of twelve.
âMy name is Eleanor. I hope we can get along, Damian.â
Looking back, it was almost laughable. Back then, Eleanor had actually been happy about Damianâs existence. She hadnât even known she had a younger brother, but the ten-year-old boy with the same blond hair seemed adorable to her, and she genuinely wanted to become close to him.
But for some reason, Damian had hated her from the very start. Even though Eleanor had done nothing to him, he had shown intense hostility toward her from the first day.
âYou filthy, low-born wench! Get out of our house!â
Eleanor had assumed it was just natural distrust toward a stranger. She figured that once she acted more like a proper noble, his sharp attitude would fade.
But that hope never came true.
Damianâs bullying only got worse as time passed, and eventually, Eleanor began to hate him in return.
Still, deep down, she always wondered: why?
Even when Oliver died. Even when she was forced to swallow a live rat. No matter how much she hated him, she still couldnât help but ask:
Why? What did I ever do to him?
Heâs the one who always got our fatherâs affection. So why does he resent me so much?
And the answer to that question was always the same:
âItâs your fault! Mother died because of you!â
So cliché and worn-out that it had become tiresome.
Eleanor let out a short, bitter laugh. She felt foolish for wasting her time asking something so seriously.
âThat again…â
She rubbed her aching forehead and continued.
âWouldnât it be better to just say you hated me for no reason? Saying my very existence disgusts you would sound more believable than that tired excuse.â
âYou think Iâm the only one who feels this way? Father feels the same!â
âRight. Father did say once that Mother only attended that wedding because I begged her to. Amazing how long youâve managed to compose that one sentence.â
There was no point in continuing. Eleanor sighed and ran her fingers through her long hair.
âJust once? Sure, it was once for you.â
But when Damian spoke again, her hand stopped mid-motion.
âBut I heard it every day growing up. That you were the reason Mother died. That you ruined this family.â
That was the first time sheâd heard of it.
Father said that to Damian?
It was hard to believe.
Eleanor deeply hated her father, but she also knew exactly what kind of person he was. He wasnât the type to sigh behind someoneâs backâhe would have said it straight to her face. And he never liked talking about his late wife. The legendary love story between Alcestis and the Duke was so exaggerated by other noblewomen that Eleanor even doubted whether it was ever real.
The Duke never spoke of his wife with longing or affection. Thatâs why Damianâs story felt like a lie.
âFrom as far back as I can remember until the day I met you at ten years old, I was alone with Father. And heâhe was out of his mind with grief after Motherâs death. Heâd always talk about you, how much you looked like her, and then scream and rage, blaming you. Pouring all that hate and anger onto me. Do you know how terrifying that was?â
But then again⊠Damianâs face didnât look like he was lying. He looked truly shaken.
âIf it werenât for you, I wouldnât have had to grow up in that kind of fear!â
Damian was a terrible liar. He didnât have the brains to fabricate stories, or the acting skills to convey them.
Which meant⊠he was telling the truth.
âYou stole my right to grow up in a normal family!â
Eleanor said nothing for a moment. His claims were so outrageous that she couldnât even respond.
Even if you ignored the idea that âhaving both parentsâ automatically meant a normal familyâas if this house could ever be normal with that man as a father.
And Eleanor didnât believe her motherâs death was her fault. Sure, saying she felt no guilt would be a lie, but a five-year-old begging her mother to attend a wedding didnât mean she deserved to carry the blame.
The church’s collapse had been a natural disaster. If anyone was to blame, it was fate, not her.
And the way their father treated Damian? That wasnât her fault either. No matter how devastated he was, it had been his duty to protect his sonânot to terrify him.
Damian had never once stood up to his father, yet he blamed her for everything.
Eleanor wanted to shout all of this back at him, to tear down his logic piece by pieceâbut she held it in. Instead, she brought the conversation back to its original point.
âSo, I get it. Thatâs why you made some random girl pretend to be your sister. And then slept with her.â
âS-Slept with her? Who says we did anything like that?! Thatâs disgusting! Do you have proof? Any evidence that we shared a bed?â
So he was going to play dumb now.
That was exactly the reaction Eleanor expected.
She touched her chin thoughtfully, then nodded as if agreeing with him.
âYouâre right. I mean, why would Nora sleep with someone like you? Gross.â
ââŠWhat?â
âSeriously. Even if Arloâs out of duty, why would she pick you? If sheâs desperate, sheâd go for someone better looking. Smarter. Braver. Not someone ugly, stupid, cowardly, and immature.â
Eleanor understood now that Damianâs arrogance and obsession with the Astria name originated from low self-esteem. His appearance, his intelligence, his dependence on his fatherâhe hated all of it. That was why he clung so tightly to pride.
Now that she had exposed all his insecurities, Damian looked like heâd been hit in the head.
Then his face flushed red with rage.
âYouâŠ!â
âOh dear, did I hit a nerve? Be honest, Damian. Has Nora been giving you excuses? Pushing back your âspecial nightâ?â
His expression gave away the truth. As always, he couldnât hide his emotions.
How is someone like that going to lead a noble house? Eleanor shook her head. Even if she did nothing, the Astria family was clearly doomed.
âOh no⊠You didnât actually believe her excuses, did you? Nora has no interest in you. Sheâs just using you.â
âDonât try to fool me! I know youâre trying to come between us!â
âReally? Is that what you think? Even you know deep down that all her excuses are fake. So give it up already. She was always out of your league. Got it, dummy?â
As soon as she finished speaking, Eleanor noticed Damianâs expression change.
His eyes were empty now, burning with rage. Heâd completely lost control.
Oops. Maybe I pushed too far.
She had gotten carried away, enjoying how easily she could wound himâand now sheâd crossed the line.
âAaaaaah!!â
Right at that moment, Damian let out a scream and thrust at her with a raised fist.
Eleanor didnât flinch. She just stared at the incoming punch, thinking to herself:
Like father, like son. Even their violence is the same.
SMACK!
But just before his fist could reach her face, someone grabbed his arm.
her family is the worst