~Chapter 65~
A Completely Different Person
âWait a moment.â
Just a light touch of her fingers made Karsianâs large body visibly flinch.
When their eyes met again and his gaze wavered as if under some kind of test, Eleanor too grew flustered and awkwardly turned her head. Her voice, already quiet, became even softer.
âLetâs wait here just a bit longer. Until that man comes back. I want to see his face again.â
Earlier, things had happened so quickly that Eleanor hadnât gotten a proper look at the man with Countess Annabel. She had a vague idea of who he might be based on a quick glance, but it would be best to confirm it for sure.
Even in a moment of panic, Eleanor didnât forget her purpose.
However, perhaps because she was so overwhelmed by the situation, she forgot to mention that Karsian didnât need to stay with her. It wasnât exactly comfortable for them to be squeezed together in such a tiny space, given the nature of their relationship.
ââŠUnderstood.â
A suffocating tension hovered over her skin. It was a kind of tension Eleanor had never experienced before.
Someoneâs rapid heartbeat echoed in her ears. Every spot where his gaze landed or his breath brushed became painfully noticeable. Their touching skin felt as if it were on fire.
One wrong move, and their lips might brush.
The thought made her face flush hot.
âMaybe I shouldâve agreed to leave when he offered.â
Eleanor, now regretful, tried carefully to shift her cramped posture. Unlike her own body, his was all hard muscle pressing into her. It felt like being crushed by a burning rock.
Just as she tried to adjust her lower body slightly, Karsian suddenly grabbed her waist firmly.
ââŠPlease, stay still.â
He growled the warning, making her flinch and shrink back.
âFor both your sake and mine, that would be best.â
Gulp. Eleanor swallowed dryly again.
To her, the Duke Royster had always seemed like a canelĂ©âfirm and hard on the outside but soft on the inside. At least with her, heâd always shown a gentler side, which made her feel oddly comfortable around him.
But it seemed sheâd momentarily forgotten. He was still a man, and one who had confessed to liking her.
That realization brought a fresh wave of tension.
No need to invite unnecessary trouble. So Eleanor stayed completely still, like a statue, just as heâd asked.
Ironically, it was Countess Annabelâs young lover who ended up rescuing her from the situation.
Step, step.
Footsteps were heard again, and Eleanor leaned close to the crack in the door.
The man stepped off the elevator and, thankfully, took off his stifling scarf as he walked toward the room.
âYes, itâs him.â
Reddish-brown hair, a face that looked younger than his age, pale skin, large green eyes, and long, slender limbs⊠Eleanor recognized him. They hadnât really spoken before, but sheâd seen him in passing.
Once he went into the room where Countess Annabel was waiting, Eleanor carefully slipped out of the storage room.
Strangely, Karsian didnât immediately follow her and remained in the dim space.
âIâll wait here in case someone else comes by.â
He whispered low, and Eleanor nodded in understanding.
Given his tall stature and striking appearance, he was far too eye-catching. There was no need to risk being spotted. Besides, Eleanor thought it might be better for them to keep a little distance right now anyway.
She once again walked quietly and pressed her ear to the door.
Apparently, the two inside hadnât gone far yet, because their conversation was still faintly audible.
âYou turned all the lights off again. And closed the curtains tight. Itâs so dark here.â
âI told youâI prefer the dark. Come in and have some tea.â
âDo I have to drink it? I donât really want any todayâŠâ
âWhy are you always such a downer? It wonât hurt you. I donât know why youâre always so worried. You know I like quiet men. So please, shut that mouth of yours. Donât be so dramatic.â
“âŠYes, I understand.”
It wasnât a pleasant thing to hear, but the information it contained was quite useful.
Eleanor focused so hard on not missing a single word that she hadnât realized she was now half-kneeling on the cold floor.
Before long, the voices began to fade.
She could still faintly hear sounds in the distance, but they didnât sound like normal conversationâit was more like physical interaction. Faint moans rang unpleasantly in her ears.
âHaah⊠Ellie!â
Eleanor took a step back, her face stiff. A nightmare that had tormented her all last night suddenly came to mind.
She couldnât hear much anymore anyway, so she stood up and started walking back toward the elevator.
âYour Grace, thatâs enoughâŠâ
Letâs go back. She tried to say that to Karsian, who was standing near the storage room. But then, a sharp pain suddenly shot up her leg.
Had she hurt it by kneeling while the wound was still healing? Or was it simply because she stood up too fast and the blood rushed? Her leg, which had been fine a moment ago, suddenly gave out.
As she started to fall, something quickly grabbed both of her arms.
âAre you alright?â
For a brief moment, dizziness washed over her and her vision went dark. Through the blurry view, all she could see was a large figure holding her tightly.
When she felt warmth on her goosebump-covered skin, memories from her past overlapped with the shadowy figure before her.
âStop being difficult and just go along with it.â
Why did she have to dream about that again last night? And why did Countess Annabelle have to say something that reminded her of it?
Eleanor found herself reminded of the man she hated most in the worldâby the one who had just helped her.
âStop struggling. Just stay still!â
Was there no way to stop these unwanted thoughts? Through painful years of experience, she already knew the answer.
ââŠMy lady?â
âŠTo take deep breaths and wait until the panic passes.
âYou should rest. Right awayââ
Otherwise, she would become overly sensitive.
âOh? Are you trying to take me to a hotel room now?â
Like that.
Eleanor trembled all over as she breathed heavily.
Her eyes, staring up at him, were unfocused, and her arms were stiff like ice. It was clear to anyone looking that she found his touch terrifying and disgusting.
Yet even so, she couldnât push his hands away. Her lips just trembled.
To Karsian, this was a familiar sight. People who had been attacked by monsters and had lost limbs or had their bodies pierced would react similarly whenever monsters were even mentioned.
Reactions like thatâfrozen with fear.
Karsian clenched his jaw, just like he had back in the storage room when their skin had accidentally touched.
But this time, the emotion burning in his eyes wasnât desperate restraint from desireâit was uncontrollable anger.
ââŠHaa.â
Karsian let out a hot breath, his eyebrows twisting as his brows furrowed. His once-kind eyes now showed clear traces of anger.
Hearing that sound brought Eleanor back to her senses.
âThat was insane.â
What had she just said? She couldnât believe the words that had come from her mouth, and she covered it with her hand.
What she had just said wasnât a joke or a careless commentâit was full of obvious suspicion.
She had basically accused Karsian of trying to take advantage of her in this situationâwhen all he had done was catch her as she nearly fell. As if he were some vile scumbag.
It was unbearably humiliating. She was ashamed of herself for doubting someoneâs kindness. For reacting so harshly just because something reminded her of the past. This time, if he decided to cut ties with her, she wouldnât blame him.
âIâm sorry. I didnât meanââ
She stopped mid-sentence and bit her lip. Because that was what she meant. It would be a lie to say otherwise. And while she was used to lying, she just couldnât lie to him.
What should she say? As she struggled to figure it out, to her embarrassment, it was Karsian who spoke first.
ââŠDonât apologize. Iâm not angry at you.â
If not at her, then who?
Eleanor blinked blankly, confused. Her vision, once blurry, slowly began to clear.
âItâs true that Iâm deeply drawn to you right now. And even if we were truly lovers and not just play-acting for a dayâŠâ
He slowly released her, only after seeing that she had regained her balanceâstill with the same politeness and courtesy as always.
ââŠI would never force feelings or actions onto you that you didnât want. Itâs not a matter of propriety or pride. Itâs simply the right thing to do, as a human being.â
Heâs different.
Eleanor could feel it clearly as she watched him talk about right and wrong so naturally.
âHeâs nothing like Arlo.â
A strange wave of relief washed over her.
She already knew Karsian wasnât trash like Arlo. But she didnât know why that truth comforted her so much right now.
âIn a world full of animals in human skin, itâs only natural you canât fully trust someone youâve barely known. No one can blame you for that⊠So please, donât look so pained.â
But even as he said that, Karsian looked more miserable than she did. His fierce gaze still held angerâbut, just as he said, it wasnât aimed at her.
âStill⊠the reason Iâm so furious right now isâŠâ
ââŠ?â
âWho was it that made you this afraid? What kind of bastard threatened youâŠ?â
Her light violet eyes suddenly flickered violently.
She didnât want him to find out. More than anyone else, she hoped he would never know what had happened to her or why she was determined to take revenge.
Because she didnât want to feel ashamed from any thoughtless pity.
Noâmore than that, it was just⊠she was scared heâd see her at her most broken.
âThatâs what I canât stop thinking about. Thatâs why Iâm so angry.â
Karsian didnât ask her what happened. But from her reaction earlier, he seemed to have a vague idea.
His low voice, and the way he looked like he was holding back intense rage, were chilling.
There was a time when Eleanor had found that expression of his terrifying. Because she believed that hatred was aimed at her.
But now she knew the feelings he held for her werenât hatred. They were something pure and nobleâsomething she had never experienced before.
That sharp look in his eyes now⊠it actually brought her comfort.
Like Hilda and Lord Ernst, it truly felt like this man was on her side. So much so that she feared the day he might not be.
âTell me.â
Who dared to lay a hand on you? he asked coldly.