NRAL | Chapter 59

~Chapter 59~

 Enduring So Much

Meredith and Caleb, surprisingly, had a love marriage. That was rare for their time.

Their love had been so deep and sweet that even now, some noblewomen would mention the beautiful couple whenever they met Eleanor.

But as everyone knew, Meredith Alcastis—also known as the Duchess of Astria—died alongside other Alcastis relatives on her younger brother’s wedding day.

Regardless of how devastated the Duke must have been after losing the woman he loved so dearly, the Alcastis inheritance was passed on directly to Astria, funding the Duke’s business.

Even the portion of the inheritance that should have gone to Eleanor somehow ended up under the Astria name. As a child, Eleanor thought this was only natural—after all, she was still under her father’s protection and immature, and in some way, she believed she was to blame for her mother’s death, which her father mourned so much.

‘What nonsense.’

Of course, she didn’t think that way anymore.

The Alcastis inheritance was rightfully hers. Maybe not all of it, but at least part of it. Believing this, Eleanor had embezzled funds behind her father’s back.

“I didn’t help you expecting anything in return.”

Karsian’s low voice suddenly echoed in her ears. Eleanor snapped out of her thoughts and answered honestly.

“Yes, I know. I’m sure that amount doesn’t mean much to you. But for me, it’s just a way to feel a little less indebted.”

If she repaid him, maybe she wouldn’t feel so weird about everything. She smiled at the thought, and Karsian gave a stiff nod.

“If it makes things easier for you, I understand. I’ll gratefully accept it.”

“Good. Since I’ve given what I needed to, I’ll be going now.”

As she bowed without hesitation, Karsian’s expression grew more complicated.

It wasn’t obvious, but the slight droop of his eyebrows, the dullness in his eyes, and the tight press of his lips all hinted at something.

‘He almost looks… disappointed.’

Suddenly, the face of a dog from her childhood came to mind.

Her furry friend, Oliver, wasn’t particularly affectionate like most dogs. He didn’t care much for people and was quite large, so most didn’t find him very cute… but Eleanor had loved him deeply. Every time she left, he’d droop his ears and look so sad, making her heart ache.

Maybe that’s why the man before her now suddenly seemed… adorable.

‘Calling this giant adorable? Comparing him to Oliver?’

She really must have lost her mind.

“Are you going straight home?”

“No, I have somewhere to stop by.”

“Any other plans afterward?”

“Why, are you going to ask me on a date?”

Eleanor joked without thinking. Maybe because he was usually so stiff, she always found herself making silly comments around him.

When she glanced at him, his face was frozen stiff. If it had been a few months ago, she might’ve been scared of the cold look in his eyes.

No—was it cold? It seemed more like…

“…I’m not sure whether you’re truly curious about how I feel, or if you’re testing whether I know my place.”

Karsian placed the newspaper on the table and stood. His long stride was elegant, but carried a certain roughness.

Then, in his deep voice:

“If you were joking about granting me such an honor—even if it was just a joke—then yes. I honestly wouldn’t want to let go of that chance.”

His gaze, looking down at her, wasn’t cold. It burned—like boiling oil close to her skin. Her lips felt dry.

“But don’t worry. I won’t let greed make me reach for something I shouldn’t. I’m someone who knows his place.”

What exactly did he mean by “his place”? She wondered, but it didn’t seem like the right time to ask.

Trying to lighten the mood, Eleanor awkwardly changed the subject.

“…I’m going to Hotel Mercedes. No other plans after that.”

She answered his question without filtering her words.

A noblewoman going to a hotel in secret… it was bound to spark misunderstanding.

And for some reason, she really didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. So she quickly added:

“It’s the location for my next plan. I’m going to scout it out.”

In the end, she had let slip something about her revenge. Even if he wasn’t the type to interfere—and he’d had plenty of chances to do so—she knew she should stay cautious. She scolded herself for the slip.

Still, she gained something unexpected.

“If it’s Hotel Mercedes, I have a membership. Let me know if you need it.”

Eleanor’s eyes widened.

Come to think of it, it made sense that someone like Royster would have a membership there. Though he didn’t seem like someone who enjoyed luxury or indulgence, which made it a little surprising.

‘Then again, with that face, it’d be more surprising if he didn’t have a lover…’

Suddenly, she became curious.

‘The man who said he liked me—what kind of relationships he had experienced?’

Had he dated like others, going on romantic outings, having fancy dinners at hotels, and whispering sweet words? Had he experienced that kind of ordinary love—something she never had?

It was a pointless question. It had nothing to do with her.

Eleanor quickly pushed the thought away.

But had he somehow guessed the thoughts she hadn’t yet shaken off? He suddenly volunteered information she hadn’t asked for.

“…I received the hotel membership because I hold shares in it, but I’ve never actually used it.”

Then, with his usual calm face, he added something even more absurd:

“I’m simply saying I’m not the type to sleep around. Just in case you thought I was… impure.”

“Why would I think that about you?! No one these days considers staying at a hotel as something dirty or shameful!”

Eleanor only realized after speaking that she had been worried about how she might have looked in his eyes. Thinking that both of them had explained themselves unnecessarily made her feel a bit embarrassed.

“I don’t really think that either. But to me, your opinion matters more than what most people think these days. Even if your thoughts are old-fashioned—I just didn’t want you to misunderstand.”

“I won’t misunderstand.”

She replied firmly, fanning her flushed cheeks. Maybe it was just the summer heat, but her face felt unusually hot.

‘He’s impossible to figure out.’

Sometimes he seemed cute and calm. Other times, he was shockingly bold and straightforward. She couldn’t tell if he was a bear or a fox.

Eleanor tried to ignore the heat rising in her cheeks and focus on what really mattered.

The hotel membership. If she had that, she wouldn’t need to scout the place multiple times. She could easily spot Countess Annabelle’s lover—and maybe even eavesdrop on their conversation.

It was a tempting offer—too tempting to refuse. Though she had just repaid her debt to him, this would be another one added. But that could be repaid too, in time.

“In any case, thank you for the offer. I’d like to use the membership next Tuesday. Would that be alright?”

“Yes. I happen to be free that day as well.”

His answer was so natural she almost nodded before catching herself.

“Why… is your schedule free that day?”

Her furrowed brows showed her suspicion.

Karsian tilted his annoyingly handsome head with exaggerated innocence.

“As far as I know, the membership must be used by the holder. So my presence is required.”

Definitely a fox. No doubt about it.

“…You don’t have any other intentions, do you?”

She asked, half-irritated.

Karsian smiled politely.

“As I said, I know my place.”

He gently placed her shawl back over her shoulders like a true gentleman.

But the way he looked at her—his gaze wasn’t gentle. It was intense, like a predator watching its prey.

‘If he didn’t know his place…’

What was this “place” he kept talking about, anyway? She didn’t know. But if he didn’t feel the need to respect boundaries, what would he do then?

What did that hungry gaze really mean?

She didn’t ask.

“So you should feel free to make full use of me—even of these feelings I’m holding back.”

Because even now, his face looked like someone holding back a lot.

* * *

Eleanor left the townhouse and, as planned, visited Hotel Mercedes.

If she could get what she needed without using the membership, she wouldn’t have to owe Karsian anything. It was worth checking.

Unfortunately—or maybe fortunately—the hotel’s interior, which Ernst had investigated, was far more complex and heavily guarded than she expected. Since it only served to wealthy nobles, no one without proper certifications could enter. Security guards were posted throughout the building to prevent any potential trouble.

Especially in the member-only areas, which were completely separate from general guest areas, even getting a glimpse was nearly impossible. Without a membership, seeing even a single strand of Countess Annabel’s hair would be a challenge..

So Eleanor came to the only conclusion she could: she had no choice but to accept Karsian’s help.

Just this one last time.

Next time, I’ll stay far away from him.

But she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was just repeating the same empty promise again.

“Then let’s head out.”

Ernst called from outside the carriage window, and Eleanor answered loudly, “Yes.”

At her signal, coachman Tobias drove the carriage forward.

Unlike other grand Astria carriages, this one was small and duller in color. It quietly rolled away from Cardiff’s busy center and slipped into the outskirts—Naturally, it wasn’t heading toward the Duke’s estate.

Telling Karsian she’d return to the duke’s estate after visiting the hotel had been a lie. True, she had been swayed by him lately, but that didn’t mean she trusted him completely.

The road grew bumpier, and the carriage shook violently. They were getting close to their destination.

Just as her motion sickness peaked, the carriage came to a halt.

Eleanor stepped down with Ernst’s help and looked around.

A small town at the edge of Cardiff—no tall buildings, nothing but harshness. The houses looked ready to collapse, trash littered the streets, and the smell was awful.

Compared to the stylish, polished buildings near Hotel Mercedes, it felt like stepping into another century. But it was still better than the Merilbone orphanage, so Eleanor didn’t mind and kept walking.

Knock, knock.

She tapped on a door with peeling blue paint, then took a step back to wait.

A crack opened, and a wary face peeked out.

“Who is it?”

Eleanor met the suspicious gaze calmly, used to being looked over from head to toe..

“Are you Mr. Smith Chestnut?”