~Chapters 51~
The First Person on My Side
âIâve prepared something new,â he said.
Once again, footsteps echoedâbut they didnât belong to the Duke of Astria.
Now that she thought about it, ever since she arrived, there had been a servant standing in one corner of the study, holding a large wooden box. Sheâd wondered about it at first. It turned out the Duke had prepared it even before she arrived.
Snap! A sharp snap of fingers rang in her ears.
Recognizing it as a signal from her father, Eleanor obediently raised her head. Then she looked at what was inside the box the servant had brought.
It was a whip.
A thin and stiff whipâone usually reserved for punishing a servant guilty of a serious crime.
âFather, this isâŠâ
âYes, Ellie. The switch is quite a bit larger than before, isnât it? That means it will hurt more, and the pain will last longer. Itâll take a long time for the wounds to heal.â
His whispering voice was so gentle that anyone who didnât know better might think he was actually worried about her.
âBut Iâm sure that once the wounds finally heal, youâll make another mistake. I know that for certainâas your father.â
You really know me well, Father.
Eleanor almost said that aloud. Luckilyâor unluckilyâthe servants had already grabbed her arms and pinned her down, keeping her from speaking.
âSo, Iâll make sure to strike the same spot again whenever it heals.â
The Dukeâs face, which Eleanor met as she looked up, was still as cold and cruel as everâhard to believe it was the face of a father looking at his child.
âSo you never forget. So youâll never even think of rebelling again.â
A primal fear surged up inside her. Eleanor clenched her teeth so tightly it felt like they might shatter, trying to suppress the terror that made her whole body tremble.
They say if you canât avoid something, try to enjoy it. Unfortunately, she had no idea how to enjoy the pain that was coming.
But there was just one thing that could slightly ease her fearâa desperate resolve. She would turn this pain into fuel for her revenge, no matter what.
âDonât worry. Youâre such a conservative girl that your future husband wonât even see the scars until after the wedding.â
Even now, her father still mentioned marriage. Eleanor scoffed internally.
Suddenly, she thought of Karsian.
The way he had looked at herâlike she was precious, someone important. The way his voice had been so gently affectionate, to a degree she couldnât understand. That memory lingered in her mind.
If he knew I was someone like this⊠what would he do?
Would he change his mind, thinking she was nothing more than a pitiful, shameful girl? Would he just offer pity, like tossing a coin to a beggar?
Whatever the case, she absolutely didnât want him to see her like this.
Being pinned down by servants, biting on an expensive handkerchief, and moaning like an animal with every lash of the whipâŠ
That filthy imageâthat she could never allow him to see.
***
The horrific and painful ordeal dragged on slowly.
âMaster! Please, forgive the young lady! If you must, beat me instead! Please, sirâŠ!â
From outside the door, Hilda screamed in desperation. But after a while, her voice faded. It seemed Ernst had taken her away, worried for her well-being.
Thatâs a relief, Eleanor thought, briefly. But she had no time to dwell on it before the next strike came.
Whack!
âUghâŠ! Aahhh!â
Whip, slash!
âAaaaaahâ!â
When the endless lashes finally stopped and her white legs were completely covered in bright red marks, Eleanor was already half-conscious.
âTake her away.â
The Duke ordered like he was disposing of trash. The servants picked her up and carried her to her room. Shortly after, the familyâs physician came and began treating her wounds.
âUgh! Ahhh, aaahâŠ!â
It felt like a new torture was beginning. Especially when her torn thighs were disinfectedâthe pain was so intense she couldnât help but twist her whole body and scream.
After a long struggle with the pain, the treatment was finally over. Only then could Eleanor feel a slight sense of relief.
To be more accurate, it wasnât really reliefâit was like being seriously ill. Her head was foggy, her whole body burned like it had been thrown into a fire, and even breathing felt like a task.
She suffered for a long time in high fever pain before finally losing consciousness.
At some point, the fever began to drop. In her sleep, she could feel something cool and damp being gently wiped across her skin.
Her groaning slowly faded. As her temperature fell, even breathing became a little easier.
She had fallen into a deep sleep, like sheâd passed outâand only after a long while did Eleanor finally open her eyes.
âYoung miss! Youâre awake?â
The first thing she saw was Hildaâs weary face. Even through her blurry vision, Eleanor could tell that the area around Hildaâs eyes was dark, her cheeks sunken. She looked terrible.
âWhere⊠am I?â
âDonât get up! You shouldnât push yourself too hard.â
It was only after she felt a burning sensation in her legs that Eleanor realized the situation. As painful memories rushed in, she instinctively clenched her hands into fists.
âYou have to be careful there too. The skin is completely scrapedâŠâ
Hilda quickly stopped her, and when Eleanor looked down, she saw that her palms were badly swollen, just as Hilda had said. It seemed that, during her punishment, she had been desperately digging into her own skin with her nails to endure the pain.
Eleanor took a deep breath and turned her head toward the balcony. The sun was still bright outside.
âIt must have been around noon when I arrived at Fatherâs study…â
It couldnât have been just a short time. That meant…
âYouâve been unconscious for a full day. Your fever went up so high… it was really dangerous.â
When she turned her head back, Hildaâs mournful face was there, and Ernst was standing nearby, probably having rushed in after hearing her voice.
A whole day of sleep, Eleanor murmured in a daze.
As she slowly scanned the room, she saw bowls of water, towels, and bottles of medicine scattered around her bedside. The signs of the previous nightâs suffering were clearly visible.
The servants and the physician, who were likely busy trying to stay in the good graces of the Duke, hadn’t helped her. From the dark shadows under Hildaâs eyes, Eleanor could tell that Hilda had been the one to take care of her all night.
âThank you, Hilda. Youâve had a lot of trouble because of me.â
âThank you? How… how could you say that?â
âHilda?â
Eleanor was startled when she saw Hilda suddenly kneel beside the bed.
Tears fell down Hildaâs face, and as Eleanor watched in shock, she realized just how much Hilda had been crying.
âWhy… why are you crying, Hilda? Is it because youâre too tired? If so, you can go rest.â
As Eleanor reached out in rush, Hilda shook her head, gently grabbing Eleanorâs hand and placing her own hand on top. Her toughened palm desperately caressed Eleanorâs hand.
Eleanor looked closely at Hildaâs face, and it was far worse than she had imagined. Hildaâs eyes were swollen, and her face looked exhausted, as if she had been crying for a long time.
âIf it’s because you’re worried about me, I’m really okayââ
âI didnât know, young lady.â
Hildaâs voice, full of emotion, interrupted Eleanor.
âI didnât understand why you were acting the way you were…â
Hilda lowered her head, her small shoulders trembling.
Eleanor, still not understanding what Hilda was trying to say, looked at her with a worried expression.
âEven though you’re so smart, why… why didnât you try to completely drive Nora out of this mansion, instead of using another method? I honestly didnât understand until now.â
Eleanorâs body froze in realization. Hilda knew my goal.
Hilda had figured out that Eleanorâs plan was to take revenge on those she hated, and then leave the estate once she had gained her position.
Eleanorâs body stiffened, but Hilda slowly raised her head, her eyes glistening with tears. Her blue eyes locked onto Eleanorâs.
âThis place was hell, wasnât it?â
Thump. Eleanorâs heart skipped a beat.
Hildaâs tears flowed as she spoke, her words cutting deep into Eleanorâs heart.
âYouâve been living in hell all this time.â
Thatâs why… she understood. Eleanorâs mind went blank, unable to respond.
This was the first time anyone had understood her situation. The first person to truly empathize with how she felt about living in this hellish estate. It was Hilda, and she was the only one.
Nora, who had stayed by her side for so long, and even the kind-hearted head maid Mary, had never understood her. To everyone else, the name Astria was only a noble and special one.
Eleanor had never voiced her pain in front of anyone because she knew others would just see it as trivial complaints from someone who had everything. But Hilda was different. She wasnât looking at her through the lens of Astriaâs status. She was looking at Eleanorâonly Eleanor.
“Ah.”
A small sob escaped Eleanorâs lips.
At the same time, a warm tear slipped from beneath her eye. Eleanor didnât even realize she was crying as she trembled.
âPlease… please be happy, young lady.â
Hildaâs tear fell and, like a wave, it overwhelmed her. Unable to hold back anymore, Hilda burst into tears, desperately pleading.
âNo matter where you are, no matter how you are, please… please be happy.â
âHilda…â
âI just want to stay by your side when you’re truly happy. Thatâs my wish, young lady.â
Hilda bent down, burying her face in the bed, sobbing uncontrollably. She still held onto Eleanorâs hand with desperate strength.
Eleanor embraced her, holding Hilda tightly.
The two women, fragile and small, clung to each other, their tears flowing endlessly. The warmth of their skin, pressing together, eased the unbearable sorrow in Eleanorâs heart, providing a kind of comfort she had never known.
Ernst quietly turned and stood guard at the door, ensuring that no one would disturb their precious moment together.
***
An hour passed, and Hildaâs sobs finally quieted down.
By this time, Hilda had climbed into the bed next to Eleanor. When Eleanor noticed this, she hurriedly tried to get up, but Hilda gently held her back.
âWill you stay by my side today? I think it will help me heal faster.â
Eleanor looked up at her with pleading eyes, and Hilda reluctantly agreed.
âSuch charm should be saved for the Duke of Royster, not me.â
Though Hilda joked, her expression was much brighter than before.
The two of them lay together, chatting like children.
The conversation was light and mostly about trivial thingsâthings like their food preferences or travel destinations. In the past, Eleanor would have considered such topics a waste of time, but now she realized that these small talks brought her a sense of calm.
As they continued chatting and laughing, Eleanor almost forgot the dull pain she had been feeling. Grateful for this, she smiled softly at Hilda and decided to ask something she had been wondering for a while.
âHilda, why are you being so kind to me? I havenât done anything for you.â