Prologue
Have You Ever Tried Hiding a Zombie?
As everyone knows, in times like these, hiding a zombie is no easy task.
Even rumors of an affair spread like wildfire—so imagine how fast word would travel if it got out that the child of a noble family had turned into a zombie.
It would be nice if there were someone you could turn to for advice in such a situation, but really, who’s going to offer guidance to a household suddenly struck by a zombie? No one.
So those who must hide a zombie are left to muddle through on their own, fumbling for survival in this harsh world.
That’s why I’ve decided to write a little guide for beginners in zombie-hiding.
What’s that? You say you don’t need it? That it’ll never happen to you?
Sorry to disappoint you, but until just a week ago, I thought the same thing myself.
You never know where life will take you.
Sometimes, you just wake up one day and find one zombie in your house… maybe even three.
The best way to keep a zombie hidden from the outside world, naturally, is isolation.
Shut them inside the house, and at the very least, you can conceal the fact they’ve turned.
But hiding is only a temporary fix. You can’t hole up forever.
Turning into a zombie doesn’t mean you can suddenly drop all your responsibilities. Zombies need to eat too, don’t they?
And in high society—where reputation is everything—sudden disappearances only breed curiosity and suspicion.
Better to live as normally as possible.
Of course, that can lead to situations like this…
“Oh my, Lady Julia. Your skin looks positively porcelain today!”
…Disasters like that.
“H-ha ha… really?”
My twin sister, Julia, forced an awkward smile, struggling to mask her discomfort. Watching her, I quickly jumped in.
And here’s the key point: quickly, but subtly. Never let it look rehearsed.
“Oh, you’ve got such a sharp eye! Julia’s been putting a lot of effort into her beauty regimen lately.”
Looping my arm around hers in a sisterly gesture, I drew the other young ladies’ attention where I wanted it. Their curious eyes lit up.
“See these earrings? You wouldn’t believe how hard she worked to get her hands on them.”
“Now that you mention it, the color really is striking!”
“Could it be? Are those made from the premium rubies said to have come from the Holman Mines?”
Just like that, their gaze shifted from Julia’s unnaturally pale skin to her sparkling earrings.
Rule number one: Zombies are pale—always distract with makeup or accessories.
Leaving Julia to smile awkwardly, I carefully slipped away. No one even noticed me backing off—they were far too busy admiring her earrings.
Relieved, I allowed myself a breath—only for my heart to lurch again.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my second brother, Isaac, reaching absentmindedly to shake someone’s hand!
No!
I rushed forward, but it was already too late. Their hands met, and the other man’s face twisted oddly.
“Isaac, why is your hand so cold?”
“…Huh?”
Isaac froze, unable to pull away.
Rule number two: Zombies have low body temperature—avoid physical contact at all costs!
I had to act.
So I slipped past as if by chance and shoved a chilled wine glass filled with ice into Isaac’s free hand.
“Oh, this? I was just drinking.”
Isaac raised the glass smoothly, and the other man nodded in understanding.
Crisis averted.
See? You can’t let your guard down even for a second.
I wiped the cold sweat from my brow, only for disaster to strike again.
Clang!
“F-forgive me!”
The shattering of glass rang out, and a servant bowed deeply in apology.
What now?
I turned—and there was my eldest brother, Edmond, standing right in the middle of the commotion.
“Your hand—it’s hurt because of me…!”
What?
Looking closer, I saw the servant flustering in panic. A shard of the broken glass must have cut his own hand, but he was acting like Edmond was the one who’d been injured.
Emergency!
Warning sirens blared in my head. Before I could think, my body moved.
I soaked a handkerchief with the red wine I’d been drinking and rushed to Edmond’s side.
“Oh no! Brother, are you all right?”
Wrapping the handkerchief around his finger, I pulled it away again, letting the wine stain masquerade as blood. Then I peered at it with the perfect look of worry.
Whew. That was close.
Rule number three: Zombies don’t bleed—never let anyone notice.
When I looked up, Edmond leaned down and whispered in my ear.
“Well done, Emily.”
Don’t mention it.
Calmly, Edmond announced to the crowd that he would be taking his leave due to the “injury.” The host couldn’t very well insist we stay after that, and so, with Edmond’s supposed wound as our excuse, we finally made it back home.
“Phew…”
“Ugh…”
As soon as we sank into the carriage seats, everyone let out weary groans. Julia slumped sideways, half-collapsed against the cushions.
“I thought we were caught…”
We all silently agreed.
Ah… and you’re wondering why we go through all this trouble?
To explain that, we have to go back a week.
Back to when my three siblings all died at once… in a carriage accident.
